Dear Missy Pink,
My husband and I have been married almost 5 years, and our sex life has remained multiple times a week, even spontaneous quickies on top of that, so we are very sexually active. They recently changed his work shift to where he’s gone all night and since I work days, we don’t see one another much. He has a computer at work and wants me to use the webcam on our laptop to live chat with him. He’s expecting me to masturbate and tease him while he watches, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Not only could someone come by his cubicle and see what’s on his computer, but, I am a bit old fashioned and private, enjoying our bedroom, not technology. I’m afraid if I don’t do it, maybe he’ll find someone that will, he has a very high sex drive. I’m not sure what to do.
First of all, kudos to having a husband with a high sex drive, and having that drive aimed towards you, even if it does include the computer. It’s apparent, you are the one that peaks his erotic interest, he wants to see you performing for him, while thinking of him and talking to him, … a rare trait, and one to be appreciated.
With that being said, maybe you could explain things to your horny hubby as, it’s not that you don’t want to turn him on while he’s at work, showing you’re missing him as much as he is you, but you want your excitement to show only to him, you don’t want to feel the possibility of a stranger viewing your open thighs, that is for him only. That will not only boost his ego, but also reaffirm his trust in your marriage. Being playful is great, adding spice to the bedroom, or the office, whatever the case may be is a commodity well claimed for keeping things alive between couples, but, it has to be stimulating for both or there’s definitely going to be something lost in the translation. It’s hard to be turned on when you feel you’re being tuned- in by others.
It seems to me the point of origin for your worries is the fact you’re like two ships passing in the night now, so why not drop anchor when convenient for you both. If he arrives home early in the morning from his shift, and you’re in the process of awakening and preparing for your day of duties, before you slip into the shower, slide back under the sheets, make love and use up those precious minutes to feel mutual intimacy. If he’s ready to walk out the door as your coming home, set down your purse and then drop to your knees, give him a quickie of oral pleasure and then pat his butt, hand him his dinner bucket and send him on his way. That will keep his mind occupied while at work!
Couples need to be creative, and I’m sure his ideas didn’t disgust you, just made you apprehensive, so, think a bit further out of the box, let your mind go wild with opportunities for bringing the closeness back into your life. You have the most important things going for you already, fidelity and desire, so work to keep those embers as a blazing inferno!