I’m a 42 year old female, and as you know, when women get together, the subject most generally turns to sex. A group of my friends came over yesterday for lunch and while listening to them, it seems like they’re having sex more often than my husband and I do, does that mean there’s something wrong with our marriage?
Not Getting Enough
Dear Not Getting Enough;
There’s nothing like good friends, a hearty lunch, a glass of wine and a discussion about sex….to really make a person feel inadequate. And I do mean that in a friendly way, it’s how the world revolves.
First of all, you’ll find that when there is a lot of boasting and bragging going on, chances are, there’s also some embellishment, not lies, just a bit of tweaking that makes what a person is saying seem a bit more interesting. So, if you have a friend telling you she and her significant other are still wrinkling the sheets 3 times a day…take it with a grain of salt, smile to yourself and know that there may be a different total of temptation.
Secondly, sex, or making love, is a sign of affection, attraction, and intimacy, but so is opening a door for your wife, pushing her chair in for her, lighting a cigarette and showing respect and adoration when out in public, the same as when in private. There are many factors that can lead to fornication, or not, there is no official book of rules that says a couple must have intercourse “x” amount of times per week, or their relationship is on the rocks. Instead of measuring your hardcore interludes by what your friends say, ask yourself, and your husband, are you having enough to satisfy the both of you. Everyone is an individual.
Lifestyle plays into the pleasure, how busy are you both through the week, maybe weekends are the only time you can truly relax and feel your personal desires without work, family, and every day drama remaining at the forefront of your mind, and if that’s the case, then you may not be having quantity in your love life, but you’re having quality. Talk to your husband, if you and he both would enjoy sharing intimacy more often, then grab the opportunities as they arise, nothing says it always has to involve dinner, candles, and hours of foreplay, you can feel just as close during those animalistic quickies, it’s all in how you meld together. If you’ve got 20 minutes to yourselves before the school bus arrives, drop your apron and let the seduction begin! Sometimes it’s those quick, kinky sessions that will re-ignite those fires, which will lead to the longer episodes, maybe some role-playing and romance, but never count out the dirty side of it too, you’ll be surprised at the heat.
Relationships are about balance, find the place you’re both comfortable and then make it happen. Emotions can run high whether he’s hard or not, so be yourselves, don’t worry about what others have to say. Any day is a good day for introducing your bodies to one another again, but do it without peer pressure, be individuals and be naughty!
Enjoy our sex advice section at Mr. Pink’s Blog? Have a question? Want to be featured in our next blog post? Email Missy Pink’s Sex Advice