RealTouch Gets Realer

RealTouch InteractiveRemember RealTouch, the male masturbation aid that allegedly feels about as close to actual vaginal penetration as current technologies can offer? Well, it may have impressed you back when it was first announced in 2008, but RealTouch just got a whole lot realer. The latest evolution of the device has been dubbed RealTouch Interactive and it gives the sleeve in which you nervously insert your penis a partner in carnal thrills: RealTouch JoyStick. But what does this allegedly interactivity entail? Couldn’t it be said that the original RealTouch, which reacted to the onscreen movements of your chosen RealTouch pornstar to provide you with a simulated sexual experience with that very woman, was also interactive? In short, dear readers, what gives?

RealTouch Interactive uses the RealTouch sleeve device and a partnered joystick to simulate the physical act of penetrative sex not with a pornstar, but with a real live woman. It works thanks to the miracle of “haptic technology” (whatever that is) and, for example, can provide long-distance couples with a way to keep the flames of passion alive while being out of reach. The woman takes in her hand the JoyStick controller and strokes it in whatever way she sees fit. The guy, on the other hand, seems to have little to do but sit back and let his partner work her manual magic. Man, isn’t this exactly what we’ve all been dreaming about since the very first time we heard about that thing called “virtual reality”?

RealTouch Interactive is currently in beta testing and participation is reserved for those who already own a RealTouch and are members of the RealTouch Network. What those folks who apply and are chosen to participate can expect is a little unclear at the moment. It does appear, though, that RealTouch Interactive can currently only be used, and possibly will only ever be used, for indirect simultaneous physical pleasure bestowed upon the lucky guy by a webcam model. Bummer, dude.

Still, what a world, eh? Who would’ve thought that such an ingenious sexual aid would arrive this early into the 21st Century? Certainly not all those guys out there making do with various homemade masturbation aids like a ziplock back inside a tightly wrapped towel, a toilet paper tube with a wet dish cloth stuffed inside, or, shit, even that well worn hole in the back of their favorite sofa cushion. If only these guys could get in on the RealTouch Interactive beta testing crew and let all of us eager beaverless brothers know how thrilling this latest and greatest virtual sex experience actually feels.

(And, yes, I’m still waiting for RealTouch to throw a porn reviewer a complimentary bone, or, more accurately, somewhere high-tech to shove mine.)

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