Discount Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 11

Beatin’ on a Budget!: with Brazzers

As all of us at Mr. Pink’s settle down and steady ourselves for what promises to be quite an enjoyable week reviewing more sites from two great adult networks, it comes time to share with you, dear reader, a choice nugget of information that could have you saving money and enjoying the web’s best porn as easily as you’d order a pizza. Now celebrating its 10th anniversary and a bunch of brand-new features to aid your browsing of its 32 exclusive websites, Brazzers, the most colorfully creative hardcore porn network known to man. Although lingering behind Naughty America’s now-4K HD videos, Brazzers still produces some fine lookin’ smut at 720p and 1080p resolutions both. And with legendary sites like Teens Like it Big, Mommy Got Boobs, Big Wet Butts, Dirty Masseur, Doctor Adventures, and ZZ Series (which recently showcased Brazzers’ feature productions The Whore of Wall St. and One Night in the Valley) pumping out some truly fierce porn starring every mainstream (and newcomer) pornstar with any sense, Brazzers is arguably the biggest name and strongest brand in online porn. And now you can enjoy it all month long for a measly $19.95.

THE MATH:
Brazzers provides its members with 32 exclusive websites loaded with 5,785 scenes starring some 1,450 women, Breaking these figures down to a per-item cost sees how worthwhile this current $19.95 Brazzers deal really is. While $19.95 only saves you $5-a-month on paper, in porn it seems like a fantastic bargain, netting you a single one of ZZ’s irreverent and adventurous HD hardcore episodes for .0034¢! You could also view your cost as paying 62¢ for each Brazzers site, a bargain by anyone’s definition and one well worth heading on over to Brazzers to celebrate. After all, it is their birthday, but it looks like you’re getting the gifts.

Beatin’ on a Budget!: with Bang Bros

In the year 2075, when porn has either been eradicated entirely from the now-chaste society or hard-wired to our subconsciousness as the only functional stimulation of our erogenous receptors, people will look back on the period between 1998 and 2008 as ten years of pornographic wonderment that solidified a style that would persist until the last load is blown. That style is known as “gonzo” and there’s really only one place in town that typifies the gonzo porn experience: Bang Bros.

A network comprising some 48 websites – notables include Ass Parade, Back Room Facials, Backroom MILF, Ball Honeys, Bang Bus, Big Mouthfuls, Big Tit Cream Pie, Big Tits Round Asses, Blowjob Fridays, Facial Fest, Glory Hole Loads, and PAWG (phew!) – Bang Bros is not only really fucking large and abundantly stocked, it’s something of a laugh riot, too. The irreverent approach of the main Bang Bros crew sees pranking, spanking, and yogically side-planking sex ignite the screen in a wide variety of situations and scenarios. Although not yet equipped with 1080p High Definition videos, Bang Bros’ 720p streams and downloads, and the 2000px galleries accompanying them should do you quite well.

THE MATH:
Bang Bros’ 48 websites hold a collective 6,937 scenes (342 of which have been remastered in HD). Breaking that down on a per-dollar basis, your bargain-priced $14.95 month-long membership means you’ll be paying a ridiculously low 49¢-per-day, 31¢-per-site, or 2¢-per-scene. Any way you slice it, the current Mr. Pink-endorsed Bang Bros deal gives you an unparalleled gonzo porn experience for a truly tiny price that no porn fanatic in his or her right mind could possibly be convinced was anything other than the best porn deal on the ‘net.

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Nuru Network

You’re tense and nervous and can’t relax – you need a massage! But with a full body hands-on treatment running you anywhere from $80 to $200, heading to a spa or seedy massage parlor might be a little out of your price range, let alone your comfort zone. Thank your chosen deity, then, for massage porn! Having gained an amazing amount of momentum over the past two or three years, massage porn was the subject of over a dozen quality sites from major networks like Bang Bros and Porn Pros, but until recently there was no network that devoted itself entirely to the erotic oil-aided laying on of hands. Enter: Nuru Network.

Bringing together the works of four unique massage porn sites – the sensual lesbian site All Girl Massage, the fun and lively Soapy Massage, the handy (and drop-dead sexy) masseuses of Massage Parlor, and the slippery Eastern body work of Nuru Massage – Nuru Network covers far more ground and offers much more variety than most massage sites even consider an option. Although it’s nowhere near as large as, say, Brazzers or Bang Bros, Nuru Network does update frequently, hosts ample HD movies, and features pornstar talent as skilled with their hands as they are with their mouths and hips.

THE MATH:
Ok, so it’s not as large as most featured Beatin’ on a Budget sites, but Nuru Network is no slouch when it comes to massage porn, providing its members with a grand total of 1,092 scenes (many exclusive) and their accompanying photo galleries. With Nuru Network membership now available through Mr. Pink’s for a measly $14.95, your cost-per-scene comes close to a very enticing 1 cent. So, in short, for the price of a decent massage IRL ($100) you could be nakedly gawking at Cindy Starfall, Christie Stevens, or Asa Akira rubbing her remarkably limber body all over your onscreen surrogate’s in some 6,000 scenes before you’ve spent an equivalent cost on what is undoubtedly the most varied and sensually exciting online massage porn extravaganza in existence: Nuru Network.

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Naughty America

Home to such legendary sites as My Friend’s Hot Mom, Dirty Wives Club, Naughty Office, Housewife 1-on-1, and Latin Adultery, Naughty America has since 1998 been regarded by fans and critics alike as one of the leading US porn studios and websites. Now seeing recent star turns by relative newcomers like Kleio Valentien, Bonnie Rotten, Siri, and Valentina Nappi appearing alongside the busty MILFs that made NA’s name, and following the launch of a brand-new all-anal site (My Girl Loves Anal), the unveiling of new membership payment options (Bitcoin, gift cards), the increasing number of stunningly detailed 4K-resolution HD movies, and a spring sale, Naughty America is harder to resist than ever before.

THE MATH:
Naughty America’s 38 websites cost a measly 46c each if you take advantage of NA’s current spring membership sale. The collected works of Naughty America’s sites – totaling 3,454 scenes and roughly the same number of photo galleries – have a delightfully low cost-per-scene of only 50c. If you’re somewhat reluctant to throw down the discounted $17.76 for a full month’s membership, Naughty America also offers a three-day limited-access trial for $1.95 that might not give you access to everything, but makes for one fantastic preview.

The birds are out and chirping, the snow has started to melt, and falling icicle fatalities are on the decline, so why not celebrate spring’s arrival by staying indoors, closing the curtains, and emigrating to the real land of sexual opportunity: Naughty America.