On a Pussy Hunt!

White Trash Black SplashWhile reviewing that premiere Golden Age movie emporium, The Classic Porn, I started to reminisce about the times when I had first viewed pornographic videos. Badly dubbed VHS tapes passed down from friend to friend; magnetic tape warped at crucial moments from too frequent pausing; barely legible titles scrawled on a piece of yellowed masking tape slapped on the cassette. I watched a few tapes with friends before smuggling them back home for a night alone when nobody else was around. Now that I spend most of my days looking at contemporary hardcore porn, these adult videos of old hold a very special place in my… well, in my heart, I suppose. Still, I’ve never managed to track down the few more memorable explicit sexual dramas of my youth.

One title I did manage to find on The Classic Porn is White Trash, Black Splash – a 1988 interracial title starring Gail Force, Jeannie Pepper, and Randy West, directed by John “Buttman” Stagliano. Featuring the most memorable post-cumshot dialog in all my porn viewing history, “As we say in de ghetto, ‘Ain’t nothin’ like a funky house party!'”, this movie wasn’t too hard to track down considering I knew it a) was interracial, and b) starred the inimitable Randy West. For me, though, this one movie just isn’t enough. I need to once again feel the thrill of seeing a black-bob-wigged, fake-titted harlot straddle the detective investigating her, ignoring anyone else that may be in the precinct at the time, and lead him to a massive face-based discharge. I need to see said detective strapped to a bondage device and taken by a blonde vixen who, in a likelihood, is the murderer/arsonist/shoplifter he’s been pursuing all along. The problem is, folks, I have no idea who any of these people are or what the film in question is called.

Surely someone out there is working on a site that would allow users to input a number of criteria – like, say, in this instance: detective, bondage, suspect, black hair, fake breasts, Hollywood, sex in chair, 1990s, and whatever else my booze-addled memory might be able to drum up – and be given a list of possible suspects. I mean, it’s basically like a more detailed and, I don’t know, helpful version of IAFD, isn’t it? Come on, who can I turn to for help in this arduous decade-long pussy hunt?

Until then, dear readers, feast your eyes on what got a much younger and less jaded Mr. Pink all riled up: White Trash, Black Splash!

Fucking Punks!

NasstoysEarlier this week, Mr. Pink’s took a wander through the Burning Angel network in preparation for a slew of new reviews of Joanna and crew’s fantastic punk rock porn sites. The first to receive the full Pink treatment was POV Punx, a site devoted entirely to thrusting you in the virtual hot seat and providing drool-worthy views of Kylee Kross, Misti Dawn, Kleio Valentein and other Burning Angels in scenes of face, snatch, and ass-fucking awesomeness.

Those of you who’ve been paying special attention to recent trends would’ve surely noticed the increased presence of “alternative” girls in porn both softcore and hardcore, on sites like Suicide Girls and God’s Girls, all over the Tumblr-verse, and even on relatively mainstream adult sites like Brazzers and Bang Bros. While Burning Angel is obviously the place to go for hardcore pornstars with tattoos, piercings, and absurdly colored hair, and POV Punx offers as intimate an experience with such girls as the Internet is currently capable of, those who want something a bit more tangible can turn to Nasstoys and its newest male sexual aid products.

FukPussy Pierced Nipples and FukPussy Pierced Vagina might seem like fairly bizarre objects to sink your shaft into but when you consider that they allegedly feel “better than real REALSKIN” and include a push-button bullet vibrator to offer vibrating orgasms, fucking a pierced pile of anatomically inaccurate flesh-colored thermoplastic rubber doesn’t seem like such a bad idea; and, hey, used in conjunction with POV Punx, the FukPussy might have you convinced you’ve just bagged yourself some real goth-punk pussy.

Porn’s Most Unconventional Marriage

One of Mr. Pink’s favorite porn sites, Porn Fidelity, the online home of husband and wife team, Kelly and Ryan Madison, is now in its eight year of operation and has finally, thanks to never missing a weekly update, adds its 400th scene. But how to celebrate? Kelly and Ryan – she with her remarkable 34G breasts, he with permission to fuck plenty of other women (as long as his wife can occasionally join in) – never do anything half-heartedly so in honor of this milestone they’ve invited five of porn’s most dazzling women to join in a momentous seven-way gangbang! That’s right, folks, Ryan, who really must be the luckiest married man on Earth, will be plundering the mouths, pussies, and possibly asses of Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Yurizan Beltran, McKenzie Lee, and Samantha Saint, as will his bisexual wife, Kelly.

In their long history of extra-marital flings that stretched the idea of what a modern marriage could be, Kelly and Ryan have fucked the best and brightest stars of the American porno scene. From relative newcomers Brooklyn Lee, Juelz Ventura, and Katie St. Ives to veteran pornstars Tory Lane, Savannah Stern, and Jayden Jaymes, the women who have passed through the Madison household have performed in some of their best scenes under this devoted (if wandering) couple’s direction. With five of the world’s most eager porno babes helping them celebrate their 400 episode achievement in truly decadent style and topping even Kelly’s recent seduction of Lady Gaga (nee Lexi Belle), the seven-way scene, appropriately titled “The Bangover”, is sure to be hard to top should Kelly and Ryan and Porn Fidelity make it to their tenth year!