Taylor & Burton, Kidman & Cruise, Lohan & Deen?

The Twitterverse was buzzing this past February because novelist and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis had been tweeting about meetings he was having with James Deen. The adult performer. The male adult performer. The male adult performer everyone seems to adore. As reported by yours truly in a previous missive, Deen was courted by Ellis to star in a film to be directed by Paul Schrader (American Gigolo and the greatest American film you’ve likely not seen, Blue Collar), the script to which he was then in the midst of writing. Deen was to “act and be full-frontal naked banging girls and guys.” In short, the perfect role for him.

Now, four months later, another tweet from Ellis suggests that professional tabloid punching-bag Lindsay Lohan will be starring opposite Dean in the film now titled The Canyons. It stands to reason she might therefore be engaging in some rather risque activities with our big dicked guy next door.

When previously been attached to take the title role in Lovelace, Lohan’s legal troubles led the producers to instead hire everyone’s favorite busty, lily-white nymph, Amanda Seyfried. As director Schrader was quick to point out (typos and all) on the film’s official Facebook Page. nothing is yet a done deal. “Despite what may be reported elsewhere, casting on The Canyons is not quite finalized… Many wonderful young actors submitted auditions and I like to bring some of them to wider attention. Or at least the wider attention that this website provides. Paul S.” (Did he just piss on Facebook? Awesome.)

So, disregarding Schrader’s reminder, we can assume Deen is in, Lohan is in, and we’re gonna watch this most likely incredible movie on its day of release for sure, right? Right. Until then, those questioning whether Schrader can handle something as rampantly sexual as a movie written by the undisputed master of stories about promiscuous, disaffected, drug-gulping twenty-something Americans, starring the world’s most charming male pornstar, and a real-life Hollywood trainwreck, watch this clip of Karvey Keitel and Richard Pryor’s dildo fight in Blue Collar and let your doubts subside. We’re in safe hands here.

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