May, 2013 | Mr. Pink's Blog

Bang Bros and Culioneros Mix It Up

Bang Bros and Culioneros have peacefully existed side-by-side since the latter’s launch in late 2011, but recent updates to both sites have been somewhat confounding. You see, Culioneros was basically set up to be the Latin Bang Bros with many sites being almost identical to ones operated by the infamous Bang Bus-driving goofball pornographers, only with the bangingest babes from Central and South America. Earlier this month, however, Culioneros saw a rather obvious spike in its occasional inclusion of North American and European talent. From the forty recently added scenes shown on the main Culioneros hub, eight scenes star Americans (Alyssa Branch, Lizz Tayler, Remy LaCroix, Kendall Karson, Rachel Roxxx, Dillion Harper, Aubrey Addams, and Ava Addams), six star Czech beauties, five feature Hungarian talent, four scenes star big-titted Japanese-British Tiger Benson, and three feature everyone’s favorite sultry French brunette, Anissa Kate. That doesn’t leave much room for those bodacious Colombian asses we’ve come to love from Culioneros, does it?

Meanwhile, apparently in reciprocation for the increasingly Americanized and anglicized nature of recent Culioneros’ updates, Bang Bros has similarly shifted its casting directives to include more women from Latin American countries, Colombia specifically. Big Tits, Round Asses and Ass Parade have both featured Colombian women in recent weeks – Natalie and Juliana in two scenes each, Rianna in one – and with the sharing of models between the two networks becoming increasingly common, there’s no reason to suspect this intercontinental babe-swapping won’t continue for a while. That’s great news if you’ve varied taste but only enough dough for one network subscription, but not so great if you’re a viewer with very, very specific requirements.

She Came, She Screwed, She Conquered: Brooklyn Lee

It’s not the worst idea to retire at the top: you retain legendary status since you haven’t fallen into mediocrity, you can return to your chosen industry as prominent as you left it, and you’ll always feel like your former colleagues would welcome you back. In porn, though, things often work a bit differently – thank the aging process for that. If recently announced retiree Brooklyn Lee ever decides to return to porn, she’ll do so as an XBIZ Female Performer of the Year and one of porn’s most compelling young performers.

When the 23-year-old Ohioan burst onto the scene in 2010’s Whores on the 14th under the watchful eye of director Belladonna, she wasted no time winning over a huge contingent of porno fanatics with her impressive oral and anal skills. Now, however, she shuffles off to begin another, more private phase of her life. As she focuses on her education and a relationship she says contributed to her decision to leave adult – “When you reach a point where you loathe heading to set because there’s only one person in the world you have any desire to have sex with, it’s time to move on from sex work…” – Lee hopes fans will look forward to her last performances in the forthcoming Vivid remake of classic Behind the Green Door and the follow up to John Stagliano’s acclaimed Voracious, due to start shooting later this month.

Every Little Thing at Brazzers

In an apparent effort to keep viewers from watching scenes beginning to end and absorbing every little detail for themselves (even scenes like Jayden Jaymes’s recent soul-searching double-penetration episode of Real Wife Stories), Brazzers now offers the more goal-oriented viewers a full breakdown of what every scene entails, sexually speaking.

Adding to the recent implementation of a Jump to Action feature that, as detailed in late 2011 by Mr. Pink’s, allows viewers to skip straight to their preferred sexual activity with a simple mouse click, ), Brazzers now provides not only a full rundown of what happens in a given scene, but how much of the runtime is occupied by each act. Check out this image of what they’re calling Fuck Stats:

The scene in question, a rather frenetic tag-team with Christy Mack and Madison Ivy, offers viewers almost six whole minutes of fellatio, most of it with both women providing the spit ‘n’ shine. Going down the list, prospective viewers into ass licking will note that it only makes a brief appearance. With this knowledge they might venture deeper into Brazzers’ archive to find another scene offering more attentive anilingus; perhaps even to another site.

But what of the joys of discovery that this new tool removes from the porn viewing equation? Once upon a time we’d hit ‘play’ with only a basic premise and cast list upon which to base our selection. Sure, plenty of those scenes chosen ended up being too boring or boner-killing to revisit, but many surprised us with hidden gems like oral creampies or brief anal excursions that we’d then discuss amongst our fellow viewers, solidifying a community and encouraging knowledgable contributions from all. Now, with Brazzers telling us exactly when, where, how, and for how long everything happens, some of the magic is disappearing and it’s all in the name of instant gratification. But then, that’s porn…

Cougar Hunter – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

I’m embarrassed to ask about this but I don’t want to talk about it to anyone I know. I’m 27 years old, my Dad got remarried about a year ago, to a woman more his age, 51, and much older than me. But that doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about her. I’ve never thought of a mature woman before, but there’s something about her that drives me crazy. I think she has thoughts too, a few times she’s brushed her boobs against me and even played footsy under the table, which makes me have to masturbate to get rid of the hard-on she causes. Am I a terrible guy or just a bad boy?

– Cougar Hunter

Dear Cougar Hunter;

Well, I can honestly say, you’re not the first male to be attracted to, an older women, we cougars do know how to flirt in a way that will make your blue jeans suddenly feel quite stiff in the front. Normally it happens during high school, when the hormones are raging and you’re carrying your books from class to class in front of you to hide the erection you’re sporting and can’t get to go down. A buddy’s hot Mom, or a certain teacher that looks delicious with her glasses perched on her nose, a deep cleavage showing from the front of her blouse, and of course those long legs that are crossed when she sits on the front of her desk to make a point, yes, normally at that age of budding puberty, a stiff wind will cause the same reaction for you.

Now, it seems to me, with you being a bit older, that doesn’t rule out the fact that a MILF can always bring fantasy and desire, but, you’re certainly old enough to not want to play in your Dad’s sandbox. If your step-Mom is flirting with you as well, shame on her. She’s taking advantage of your presumed stamina and stiffness, not to mention feeding her own ego as an older woman that can still cause a younger man to jack-off with thoughts of her on his mind.

There are certain, unspoken rules in life that offer imaginary boundary lines not to be crossed, and having wild, unbridled, hardcore sex with your Dad’s wife would certainly be on the list. I’m sure in your mind she is so hot and stimulating, that when all the blood rushes from your brain to your testicles, the moral aspect is lost somewhere between those two areas, but, for just one moment, once you’ve managed to bring yourself to an orgasm, think about what it would be like afterwards. Would you feel guilt? Would she? Would you want to do it again or would you feel so badly over the adultery aspect that it would put a strain on the family dynamics? Let’s face it, the next backyard cookout could be a bit uncomfortable, would you be passing the potato salad or making a pass at your step-Mom?

If you’re truly that turned on by the fact it’s an older women, there are plenty others in the world, you’re eyes have been opened, now all you have to do is look. There’s nothing wrong with desiring the mature and sexy creature that you know will have the erotic experience to make you feel as you have never felt before, and, at the same time, you’re proving to her that she doesn’t belong in the kitchen baking cookies, but rather draped across your bed, ready for you to bring the youthful pleasure one more time. But, something tells me, it’s the taboo side of the fact this is your Dad’s wife, it makes her off limits, it makes it so hot and naughty, the act of sneaking, the wild heat that courses through your veins at the possibility of getting caught, all of those fetish filled feelings that make you want her even more. If that’s the case, then allow your mind to catch up to the age of your body…. grow up, don’t ruin the relationship between you and your Father.

If she’s coming on to you as well, then I’d say Dad already has problems he’s not aware of yet, and, if you don’t act upon her offers, then someone else probably will, and she’ll keep looking, but if it comes out that she’s not as faithful as he thought, don’t compound his pain by knowing his own son betrayed him as well as his wife. He gave her a ring, but he gave you life.