Author: MrPinks

Not Getting Enough

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I’m a 42 year old female, and as you know, when women get together, the subject most generally turns to sex.  A group of my friends came over yesterday for lunch and while listening to them, it seems like they’re having sex more often than my husband and I do, does that mean there’s something wrong with our marriage?

Not Getting Enough

Dear Not Getting Enough;

There’s nothing like good friends, a hearty lunch, a glass of wine and a discussion about sex….to really make a person feel inadequate. And I do mean that in a friendly way, it’s how the world revolves.

First of all, you’ll find that when there is a lot of boasting and bragging going on, chances are, there’s also some embellishment, not lies, just a bit of tweaking that makes what a person is saying seem a bit more interesting. So, if you have a friend telling you she and her significant other are still wrinkling the sheets 3 times a day…take it with a grain of salt, smile to yourself and know that there may be a different total of temptation.

Secondly, sex, or making love, is a sign of affection, attraction, and intimacy, but so is opening a door for your wife, pushing her chair in for her, lighting a cigarette and showing respect and adoration when out in public, the same as when in private. There are many factors that can lead to fornication, or not, there is no official book of rules that says a couple must have intercourse “x” amount of times per week, or their relationship is on the rocks. Instead of measuring your hardcore interludes by what your friends say, ask yourself, and your husband, are you having enough to satisfy the both of you. Everyone is an individual.

Lifestyle plays into the pleasure, how busy are you both through the week, maybe weekends are the only time you can truly relax and feel your personal desires without work, family, and every day drama remaining at the forefront of your mind, and if that’s the case, then you may not be having quantity in your love life, but you’re having quality. Talk to your husband, if you and he both would enjoy sharing intimacy more often, then grab the opportunities as they arise, nothing says it always has to involve dinner, candles, and hours of foreplay, you can feel just as close during those animalistic quickies, it’s all in how you meld together. If you’ve got 20 minutes to yourselves before the school bus arrives, drop your apron and let the seduction begin! Sometimes it’s those quick, kinky sessions that will re-ignite those fires, which will lead to the longer episodes, maybe some role-playing and romance, but never count out the dirty side of it too, you’ll be surprised at the heat.

Relationships are about balance, find the place you’re both comfortable and then make it happen. Emotions can run high whether he’s hard or not, so be yourselves, don’t worry about what others have to say. Any day is a good day for introducing your bodies to one another again, but do it without peer pressure, be individuals and be naughty!

Missy Pink

Enjoy our sex advice section at Mr. Pink’s Blog? Have a question? Want to be featured in our next blog post? Email Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

 

Alison Pill’s “Accidental” TitPic

She might have appeared naked in a movie or two, nabbed a role in recent TV hit The Newsroom, and played the role of literature’s ultimate party girl, Zelda Fitzgerald, in Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris, but until now there were still plenty of entertainment junkies who didn’t know Alison Pill from, well, Zelda Fitzgerald. That is, until she recently “accidentally” tweeted a photo of herself lying on a bed wearing oversized spectacles but no shirt.

Alison Pill

“Yawn,” I hear you thinking, “another ‘accidental’ topless tweet from a not-that-famous Hollywood blonde. How twenty-ten!” Not so fast there, Sonny Seen-it-all! What sets Ms. Pill apart from most other celeb babes who’ve bared their chests on Twitter only to later cry “Hack!” or “Stolen iPhone!” is that this particular starlet immediately admitted a mistake and got on with her day. A simple apology later, Pill was back to tweeting about the Benghazi attack and quoting Mark Twain for his appreciation of cats and cat lovers.

So, is this where celebrity tit-pics are going? Immediate admission of their existence and not a hint of a probe or threatened lawsuit in sight? If so, I’m gonna have to start sleeping less and tweeting more ’cause there are plenty of racks waiting in the wings, that’s for sure.

Former Priest’s Obscene In-Flight Entertainment

MrPinksYou may have heard that a 63-year-old Reno man was recently busted for watching porn on his laptop and fondling himself mid-air on a SouthWest flight late last week, but did you know the guy is also recently defrocked priest of the Claretians order? Turns out the guy, who used the in-flight WiFi service to augment his barely concealed masturbatory fondling, was ejected from the order for, according to a 2002 article in the Austin American-Statesman, “alleged inappropriate contact with a minor, though an investigation found no evidence of violence or sexual abuse.”

Gee, thanks Padre! Now those of who who respectfully reserve our in-flight porn viewing for when we’re lucky enough to nab a seat in the rear-most aisle so as not to disturb or disrupt the other, more delicate passengers will now likely have to run all our in-flight Internet usage through content filters. There goes my catching up on AVN news bulletins during a red eye. Bye-bye some dude showing his buddy a photo of the pornstar he met while partying it up in Vegas. There goes your ability, dear reader, to  watch an episode of Red Shoe Diaries streamed on Hulu Plus instead of trying not to watch five straight hours of some animated shit on the screen belonging to the dumb-ass brat sitting in front of you, the brat who has reclined so far back he spilled your G&T and is preventing your kneecaps from breathing that stale in-flight air.

Well, at least, I suppose, we can content ourselves with the knowledge that this is one guy who won’t be whipping it out in public again anytime soon. Now if only the San Francisco Public Library system would install masturbation detectors, we could all read in peace, too.

Ice Cream Jokesters Can’t Take a Joke

Ben & Cherry's
Caballero Home Video

Ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, has sued adult film companies Rodax Distributors and Caballero Video, alleging that the release of hardcore pornographic films bearing titles similar to those given to their own internationally famous ice-cream products will likely cause “confusion, mistake or deception” and leave hungry confectionery fans bewildered. Uh, I didn’t get any sweaty testicles in my tub of Schweddy Balls, fellas! What gives?

In an apparent lack of self-awareness and a notable loss of any sense of humor, Ben & Jerry’s found the forthcoming Ben & Cherry’s porn DVDs so offensive that they immediately issued a threatening lawsuit that has unfortunately resulted in the targeted titles, which include Boston Cream Thigh, New York Fat & Chunky, and Peanut Butter D-Cup, from retail shelves around the country. Rodax and Caballero filed a federal consent order in Manhattan Tuesday that specifies that they will now destroy all materials related to the titles.

So, let me get this straight: Ben & Jerry’s can make mad bank with immature double entendre names for ice cream products – names like Schweddy Balls, the Hindu-mocking Karamel Sutra, and Chubby Hubby (briefly also known as Hubby Hubby) – but they can’t take a joke, let alone an obvious parody (a staple of the adult industry) when it “threatens” their registered copyrights? What do they expect, some choc fudge craving holy terror to just blindly wander into an adult establishment, pick up a DVD case, pry open the seal and start chowing down? What’s next, Bill Cosby suing the makers of Not The Cosby Show XXX because it really isn’t the Cosby Show?