Flirts in Skirts

Skirts Up GirlsBack when I was attending Catholic school – yes, that unidentifiable guilt is still with me – my female fellow students were held to a dress code rule that didn’t directly impact us boys: skirt/dress length. The unnecessarily sadistic method teachers had of testing the length of a girl’s skirt or dress was to instruct them to kneel on the floor or, if during recess, on the cold, hard asphalt. If the hem of the garment touched the ground, the girl was fine, if not, detention. (Now there’s a killer idea for a pornsite!) The idea behind this rule being that any girl who wore a skirt short enough to allow anyone, be it teacher, student, school caretaker, secretary, or a boy from a visiting school, visual access to her upper thighs was a “bad girl” who wasn’t welcome in such a fine, upstanding educational institution. Fuck that, am I right? Wear ’em short, ladies! Give us a peek at anything you want to show off. Believe me, we’re eternally grateful for any additional inch of skin. Why do you think we follow you around shopping malls? Stair and escalators, ladies. Stairs and escalators.

Upskirt porn has seen its peaks and valleys of popularity, though it seems of late to have unfortunately avoided the attention of too many porn fans. Perhaps it has been the increased proliferation of celebrity upskirt photos snapped by paparazzo as our hot-legged stars crawl out of limos or prance around onstage in outfits your mother might admire on TV, but would throw up if she caught her daughter wearing. There are, however, some upskirt sites still going strong. One of these recently went under the Pink-O-Scope™: Skirts Up Girls. For the ful lowdown on what’s up at Skirts Up Girls, check out our full review here. (Hint: it rhymes with Stüssy… kinda.)

Toe Temptation

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years, so we’ve gotten through the stage of taking the dirty pictures and telling each other what really excites us without embarrassment. My problem is, I LOVE foot fetish action, and he doesn’t. Having my toes sucked, and even having him rub against my feet is such a turn on, but, he thinks feet shouldn’t be a part of the sexual act, what can I do to change his mind, he doesn’t understand just how much I like this.

Toe Temptation

Dear Temptation:

Well, I have to start out by saying, the fact you and your partner are open enough to talk about things is definitely a “foot” in the door to a healthy relationship. It seems that everything else is pleasing, it’s just this one issue standing in your way of feeling completely satisfied. Foot fetish is not for everyone, in fact, I’ve known quite a few people that are completely turned off by feet, it’s as if they have this stigma in their mind of them being dirty and disgusting, because we walk on them.

Take showers together, needless to say, a lot of erotic enjoyment can stem from that act, but he can also see how well you clean your feet. Don’t skimp on the soap, really lather them up and make sure they sparkle. Get a pedicure, buff them, slather on the lotion, whatever it takes to make them appealing. Start out slow, maybe by using your toes to tickle his testicles now and then, a little fancy footwork while stretched across those cotton sheets may just excite him.

Make them more of your sexual appearance, wear open-toed sandals, an ankle bracelet, make his eyes draw to your dogs, but don’t let them bark too loudly until you think he’s ready. When he’s in the mood, make sure you assume the missionary position, lift those legs high and happily into the air, as he grabs your ankles, you wiggle those little piggy’s until he squeals with delight. As the passion builds, move them closer to his face, let him see they’re nothing to be afraid of, but instead, he may just wrap a tongue around the one that went to market, and in doing so, you’ll be the one crying, “Wee-wee-wee” all the way home to an orgasm!

 

Enjoy our sex advice section at Mr. Pink’s Blog? Have a question? Want to be featured in our next blog post? Email Missy Pink’s Sex Advice or post your thoughts on our Disqus feature below.

*For entertainment purposes only ;)

Occupy My Ass!

Bobbi Starr - Occupy My Ass!One of the most impressive new porn directors of late has undoubtedly been Bobbi Starr. After tackling such established niches as POV and lesbian sex (Vicarious: So Close You Can Taste It), straight gangbangs (Bobbi Loves Boys), female masturbation (One), aggressive and rough sex (Shut Up and Fuck), and personal journeys through foot fetishism, voyeurism, and group sex (her incredible directorial debut Bobbi’s World), the Northern Californian fetish queen takes on political satire and, well, everything she’s done before (and lots more) in Evil Angel’s forthcoming  Occupy My Ass.

Due to hit retail outlets on January 23rd and recently landing on Evil Angel’s official website as a streaming-only exclusive, Occupy My Ass sees Ms. Starr and her fellow performers, Kimberly Kane, Aiden Starr, Dana DeArmond, Kelly Divine, and Sarah Shevon, among others, spread their holiest of holes for some deeply penetrating anal insertions. Sticking all manner of phalluses up the back passage, from fingers, toes, and Mark Wood’s dick to enormous strap-ons, dildos, and butt plugs that’d make Audrey Hollander wince. Not only does Occupy My Ass declare itself representative of “The 99%” and profess to “stand in solidarity” with each of its anally-inclined stars, but it also means the debut of something many porn fans have been hoping to see for some time: Lily LaBeau’s boy/girl anal debut. Throw in another four scenes of utter anal debuachery and you’re looking at an adult DVD so blisteringly, intimately fucking fantastic it’ melt the coldest superrich heart.

Unfortunately, Occupy My Ass does not feature any of the women from that viral Hot Chicks of Wall Street we featured a while back. Oh well. I suppose the gaping assholes of porn’s hottest supersluts will have to do!

Looking Back From 2012 to… 1950?

The Screaming OThe year 2012 may have only just begun, but already a couple of adult companies are reaching back into the past to create memorable products. Harkening back to that classic era of kitsch Americana, the 1950s, The Screaming O’s 2012 calendar presents a dozen gorgeous babes posing in skimpy outfits as they bring your favorite fantasies to life. Whether sucking down a malt at the soda shop, skating over to the window of a ’55 Chevy Bel Air, or chewin’ on a piece of straw in cowboy boots, shorts, and a ten-gallon hat, these purebred American fillies point to moments in our nation’s history that are fondly remembered as showcasing the epitome of alluring femininity in a suggestive yet somewhat innocent fashion. “It may have been something as simple as a flirty glance, a romantic spark, or an instant attraction that left a lasting impression in our minds. These girls embrace the power of their sexuality with confidence and style,” tells The Screaming O’s Keith Caggiano, pinpointing the company’s M.O. “We always say, inside every girl next door is a Creaming girl at heart!”

Intimate apparel designers and manufacturers Seven ’til Midnight are also harkening back to an earlier time in America’s history, this time aiming squarely at the swinging ’60s with their brand new 2012 line of intimates. Set to debut in late January at Le Salon International de la Lingerie in Paris, the collection aims to bring fans of the recent classy Mad Men-inspired sixties styles into a more erotic arena, one filled with glamour, suggestiveness, and sophistication, by the time of its Valentine’s Day retail release.

As odd as it is that two leading intimate companies are jumping back in time fifty years or more at the beginning of a new year, both of these new offerings are bound to be big hits with consumers and professionals alike. Imagine someone like Natasha Nice or Alexis Texas in a slim-fitting ’60s-style black cocktail dress with garter and stockings underneath and tell me you’re not more worked up than Don Draper at an Equal Pay Act after party!