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Bree Olson Retires From Porn, Not Controversy

After the media shit-storm that surrounded Charlie Sheen’s now legendary 36-hour alcohol and drug binge back in January, the pornstars that accompanied him, Kacey Jordan, Melanie Rios, and Bree Olson, ducked and weaved the attention of some media outlets while aggressively courting others. When Gigi Rivera, another pornstar involved with Sheen, quietly retired from adult entertainment, no one could blame her; the 19-year-old had barely dipped her toe into porn before it all came crumbling down around her. One retirement nobody really saw coming was that of Bree Olson, whose decision to quite fucking on film Mr. Pink’s only just heard about. Telling a TMZ cameraman that she’s leaving porn for good in an effort to rebrand herself as a serious actress, Olson is actively pursuing acting lessons and apparently hopes to follow in the footsteps of another controversial ex-pornstar, Sasha Grey.

Can it really be true, though? Can the self-appointed “World’s Biggest Whore” really give up getting blasted with cum for a living? After all, if the following choice excerpts from Ms. Olson’s Twitter are anything to go by, she’ll probably just end up blowing everyone in her any auditions she’s lucky enough to land. Hey, wait… That sounds like the way most “actresses” make it in tinsel town!

Wish I was a cheap $20 hooker laying in this bed and one guy after another would come in this room and cum inside me while I just lay here.Thu Feb 17 23:54:50 via EchofonBree Olson
BreeOlson

I’m so horny! I got him off but I still need to get off! Maybe I should go to one of these truck stops and let all the men cum in me.Fri Apr 02 19:57:58 via Twitter for iPhoneBree Olson
BreeOlson

Got so drunk. Mexican took me on these trash bags fucked me. Left me laying there then about 10 of his friends came and fucked me too.Sat Jan 15 21:52:05 via EchofonBree Olson
BreeOlson

An Adult Acrostic Thanksgiving

T is for Turkey, the family after eating does nap
H, “If I Hurry I can squeeze in a fap!”
A is for Anal, a scene smoking and raw
N is for a Naughty America whore
K gives me Kagney, and Kayden, and Keyes
S is for Semen, with coaxing I’ll squeeze
G is for Gonads, soon emptied of seed
I is for Instant, like this video feed
V for Vainlla, too softcore for this bro
I says “It’s Struggling, It’s struggling to load.”
N shouts “No, you ol’ shitbox, you must stay alive!”
and with
G I Give thanks for my external hard drive

– Anonymous.

Bobbi Starr is “One”

Evil Angel has long been a company devoted to allowing porn’s most talented performers a chance to direct their own productions. Having made an adult auteur of Belladonna, Stagliano and co. handed Bobbi Starr a contract and a budget and told her to basically do whatever she wanted. After the success of her first three feature-length DVD releases, Bobbi’s World, Shut Up and Fuck, and Vicarious, each of which offered a view into Ms. Starr’s constantly evolving sexuality with plenty of rough hardcore, girl-on-girl fucking, and incredibly intimate POV-shot scenes, Evil Angel is set to unleash her latest creation, a feature quite simply entitled One.

“One is many things. It’s a song by U2. It’s a song by Metallica. It’s a song by Three Dog Night. But in my case, One is a solo masturbation movie featuring Kara Price, Tori Lux, Julie Night, Asa Akira and, of course, myself.” While Bobbi’s knowledge of popular music history might not be top-notch – respect where respect is due; Three Dog Night’s One is horrendously overwrought cover of the spare, beautiful Harry Nilsson tune – her performances are always vibrant and thrilling, even when she’s not wrapping her ass around a stiff dick or fisting a fellow pornstar babe. With such a luminous lineup, One is sure to set your fires a-burnin’, Pink fans, in ways only Bobbi Starr, performer/writer/activist/director, can muster.

Explaining her vision, Starr says One is not a “pretty, milquetoast” female masturbation movie of the kind you’d usually see in mainstream porn. “There are fetish themes, which my fans will identify as something I return to often, as well as lots of latex. This is a movie about women literally taking control of their own orgasms.”

About. Fucking. Time.

Dave Attell’s Showtime Circle Jerk

Comedian Dave Attell has never tried to hide parts of his personality that some might view as, well, decadent. On his show Insomniac (2001-2004), Attell wandered around various US cities during the moonlit hours, drank booze in bars and clubs, and met fellow nighthawks, most of them the kinds of folks TV execs wouldn’t want anywhere near a prime-time slot. When I was fortunate enough to attend a taping of the resurrected Gong Show in The Entertainment Capital of the World, Hollywood California a few years back, Attell, taking Chuck Barris’s place as the host/ringmaster, would spend shooting breaks standing in the wings chain-smoking and looking less than thrilled with bumbling crew members.

Now, with his second gig hosting the annual Adult Video News (AVN) Awards in Las Vegas coming up in January of next 2012, Attell’s connections to the porn world are only growing stronger. But, hey, the guy’s an old pro when it comes to fuckin’ on film. Just check out his current Showtime jaunt, Dave’s Old Porn. Digging back into the VHS archives from porn’s Golden Age, the 1970s and early ‘80s, Attell and his guests (Whitney Cummings, Adam Carolla, Chelsea Handler and other mildly humorous celebs) give running commentaries while showing some of adult cinemas greatest and crummiest titles, from The Devil in Miss Jones to Ultra Flesh. Porn veterans Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy, Belladonna drop in to give a professional’s perspective on some of the cheesiest dialog, most bizarre plots, and (presumably) least attractive hairstyles even seen on the small screen.