Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – November 11th, 2015

mrpinksIt’s getting chilly in certain parts of these United States lately and what better than another dose of Mr. Pink-approved pornography to keep you warm and toasty no matter the weather outside? This week we checked out two makers of high-grade HD porn and two sites showcasing women usually neglected by the mainstream. The latter, Karup’s Hometown Amateurs and Karup’s Older Women, got brand new reviews detailing their continued relevancy while My Very First Time’s anal debutants and Pure Mature’s scorching hot MILFs proved as excellent technically as it is erotically. Next week there’s more brand new and supremely sexy stuff on the way, so keep ’em peeled on Pink’s!

Ronda Rousey’s Slippery Sex Tips

Ronda Rousey

She may be one of the most Googled female athletes in recent memory, and world champion in her chosen sport, a Hollywood player with mainstream movie cameos, and now the author of a sex and dating advice column for men’s mag Maxim, but Ronda Rousey probably shouldn’t be dispensing sex tips or criticizing others practices until she’s learned a few things about the variability of human sexual response.

Telling Maxim reader “Jack, 36, Los Angeles” that using lubricant is a sign of sexual inadequacy, impatience, and disregard for a woman’s arousal is just plain irresponsible. Italicizing her response because she’s so damn sure it’s correct, Rousey says “You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy.” So every post-menopausal woman who suffers from vaginal dryness has a lazy lover? Those couples dealing with sexual anxiety or a disconnected physical response or under the haze of a nice strain of cannabis sativa might also find the lower regions a little less moist than your average folks.

Though the idea that any guy reaching for a tube to lube his partner isn’t taking his time has an iota of validity, there’s always those guys and couples who prefer longer bouts of intercourse, something lube no doubt helps extend without rawness and irritation ruining an epic coital congress. And then, Ms. Rousey, there’s the marvelous world of anal intercourse, something that would hardly be comfortable enough to pursue without the aid of additional lubrication.

Dudes, Maxim readers, sexually active humans… Don’t listen to Ronda. Load up on lube and see how smooth your sex life can be. And, if you must listen to Ronda, at least listen to Kleio Valentien as Ronda ArouseMe in Burning Angel’s hit porn parody. Trust me, it lasts longer than most Rousey bouts and is very wet indeed.

Hentai Springs to Life with Anime Eyes

Puuko hentai

Hentai fans, grab your wallets! No, it’s not another tentacle bangin’ bonanza, it’s a new range of contact lenses that can have the wearer looking far more kawaii than anyone else on the convention floor. Produced by Anime Contacts, the three distinct designs of contact lens now available aim to transform boring old human peepers into sparkling windows into the most charming of souls. Or, if you’re a deviant – and since you’re a Mr. Pink’s reader, I assume you are – they’ll transform any near-perfect ‘couples cosplay’ adventure into a much more convincingly surreal experience.

Having over the years reviewed more than a few hentai websites, JAV websites, and bizarre amalgamations of the two, this reviewer can see great porno potential for such a cartoonish accessory. Imagine how cool your filtered iPhone pics of your sweet little Reki-jo on her kimono-covered knees with your dick in her mouth! Adding that extra dose of anime styling to professional porn would prove even more popular, I’ve no doubt. Take something like Kink’s fairly recent Hardcore Gangbang of Marica Hase in which the ultra-flexible Japanese babe donned a bright blue wig and form-fitting superhero costume to play a convention-bound girl with magic erection-locating powers. Throw in some POV shots with Marica staring up at the camera, first bright-eyed and eager, later teary and worn (as is Kink’s M.O.) and you’d have anime-loving porno fans (like Marica herself) all in a tizzy.

Priced affordably at 3,300 yen (or $27 USD) per pair, the three lens styles are called Ururu ( meaning teary-eyed), Kirakira (twinkle/sparkle), and Kiratto (bright) and are now available direct from Anime Contacts in Japan. US distribution hasn’t yet materialized but Mr. Pink’s will surely let you know when they become locally available.

Mr. Pink’s Must Haves: Twistys

Twistys

It often seems the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Wars rage across countries and continents, people starve and suffer and die, and the price of gas never seems genuinely stable. Truly this world is a rough place in which to live unless, that is, you’ve let the erotic light of Twistys brighten your path.

Ok, so Twistys might not any kind of prophesied savior or redeemer, but it has been producing some of the finest glamour porn and erotica since 2001 and that sure counts for a lot. Consistently out-performing most of its competitors in the American-made glamour and erotic arena, Twistys is equally supportive and encouraging of its models, crowned monthly or yearly Twistys Treats depending on popularity, and its photographers and directors. The best of both professions can be found at Twistys, a huge and dense network of nine adult sites with similarly sophisticated approaches, with experienced MILFs like Julia Ann joining such rising talents as Ariana Marie, Cassidy Banks, and Mila Jade.

Exclusive Twistys sites When Girls Play, Twistys Hard, and Twistys Teasers join the classic line-up of solo model sites (Nicole Graves, Anette Dawn) and hardcore trips (Busty Ones, Euro Foxes, Blue Fantasies) and offer a combined archive holding almost 8,000 videos and more than 18,000 photo galleries, a truly staggering amount of porn. Although membership would usually run you $29.99-a-month, Mr. Pink has scored you a deal, dear reader: Twistys HQ for $19.95.

Twistys isn’t without its faults, sure, and many of them seem political – see my March 2014 blog about the Twistys Treat scandal – but when you’ve got the web’s most devastatingly sexy women shot as if the goddesses of lust and passion we revere them as staring back at you, Twistys makes damn near perfect sense.

Twistys Review