Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 126

WoodRocket and Rule #34

When was the last time anybody but Axel Braun was so universally celebrated for parodying pop-culture icons in hardcore adult movies? Even some holders of the intellectual properties being parodied admitted first to a curiosity then, an interest, and finally an appreciation of the irreverent super-hero, comic book, TV, and movie-lampooning releases. Well, move on over, Mr. Braun ’cause it looks like your bombastic mega-budget mockbusters could be under threat from the studio that’s proving to be more punk rock than mainstream pop, more Brain Candy than Awakenings, if you will. That studio is WoodRocket.

Founded by Lee Roy Myers, among others, WoodRocket’s bizarre blending of slapstick comedy, pop-culture parody, hardcore porn, and social satire have made it one of the most promising new studios to pop up in some time. Having already pushed porn parodies further than anyone ever thought – SpongeKnob SquareNuts, Sex Toy Story, and even that Jerry-Seinfeld-and-pal-driving-around web series thing, they’ve all been WoodRocket subjects – the studio could have started to focus more on its non-porn webseries James Deen Loves Food and Memes I’d Like to Fuck (see below) or on outlandish projects like a life-size Darth Vader built from sex toys. Parodies have remained an essential part of WoodRocket, though, and we’re now seeing the most courageous and inventive skewering of pop-culture icons since Edward Penishands quietly became a cult comedy hit.

edward penishands

Apparently feeling that squirts and stoners shouldn’t get to have all the cartoonish fun, Myers and company followed up SpongeKnob and Sex Toy Story with Strokemon, the first live-action Pokemon parody starring Rizzo Ford as Dikachu, who’s given a solid working-over by Gash (Tyler Nixon) and Fisty (Kassondra Raine) and just go damn squeals the whole time. Now, I’ll admit to being a bit too long in the tooth to understand the less obvious Pokemon references and jokes, but where the recent Bill and Ted’s SEXcellent Adventure-parodying photoshoot starring Lily Bergman, Jessica Dawn, and Vuko as Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan, and the history-spanning cast of influential figures from Lincoln to Beethoven, Genhis Kahn to Joan of Arc is concerned, I’m so on-board it’s ridiculous.

Whatever your pop-culture fancy, be it Naked Lunch or The Nanny, WoodRocket’s likely to have considered skewering it with sex, proving that just because it made you laugh in your teens doesn’t mean it can’t be masturbation fodder of the highest caliber in your adult years.

Mike Adriano’s Anal August

Plenty of male pornstars partake in rear-end penetration of their co-stars. In fact, many have become known for their skill and apparent eagerness for anal sex, James Deen, Manuel Ferrara, and Mark Wood among them. The identity of the reigning king of anal porn, however, is not a subject open to much debate. With relentless devotion, a singular vision, and an always reliable performer in himself, director Mike Adriano’s anal addiction is unparalleled in porn. Case in point: this month the maestro of the murky-depths will release not one, not two, but three anally-focused movies on DVD and VOD through his partners Evil Angel. “Three anal movies,” you cry, “Isn’t that too much anal? What could possibly make three anal movies by one guy worth viewing?” Well, I’ll tell ya!

Tattooed Anal Sluts is the first of Adriano’s bunghole bonanza to see release, hitting the street August 10, and stars the baddest babes in porn today: Lily Lane, Jordyn Shane, Lola Luscious, and dirty-talking darling Dollie Darko. After plowing those four inked harlots, Mike moves on to getting new girls Rachel Madori and Kylie Sinner ready for a career in buggery and welcoming back returning deviants Proxy Paige and Casey Calvert to Asshole Training, due on August 19. A little over a week later, Backdoor Baddies 2 is released, unleashing upon viewers the powerhouse ass-queen AJ Applegate and relative anal newbies Jenna Ivory, Tiffany Doll, Kendall Karson, and Megan Rain. Just who’ll be farting out butter, who’ll be rimming Mike, and whose pussy erupts in a squirting tsunami remains to be seen.

Trailers for Tattooed Anal Sluts #3, Asshole Training, and Backdoor Baddies #2 can now be seen at Evil Angel, where VOD scenes will also soon be available to subscribers. And, just for kicks, heres a little video featuring Kate England to remind you of why Adriano’s the most successful but routinely insulted (read: envied) by viewers who’d give anything to be in the man’s sizable shoes. Great work, Mike Adriano!

Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – July 30th, 2015

mrpinks Another week with Mr. Pink’s has brought you reviews of porn sites both incredible and forgettable, professional and not-so-professional. Paradise Films and Joy Bear, two sites on the strangely alluring Stiffia network, couldn’t be more different: one’s a straight teen-centric effort while the other makes classy, arty porn for couples. European network Tainster can take care of any truly deviant fetishes you might have like taking jello baths or pissing on floors with one of its many sites. BiMaxx, a bisexual site, a rarity, on the Tainler network (odd, I know), took things even further with MMF and MMMF and even MMMMFFFF scenarios! Will it get this wild next week or will it all be delicate softcore and knowing looks? Return to Pink’s and answers will be yours.

Cosmo’s Female-Friendly Porn Picks

Once again courting controversy and enraging anti-sex activists across the USA, Cosmopolitan, the women’s magazine with distribution in 110 countries around the world, decided “Have Hotter Sex This Summer” and “4 Scary Things Gynos Tell You and Why You Shouldn’t Wig Out” weren’t exciting enough stories and opted to recommend some porn to their overwhelmingly female readership, porn Cosmo felt would be a good fit for female viewers. Of course, reactionary anti-sex groups immediately called the publication itself an item of pornography and demanded it be removed from super market shelves or wrapped in a black mylar sleeve so as not to infect the eyes and minds of tots as their parents unload two cartfuls of carcinogenic soda-pop onto the checkout belt. In solidarity with the oppressed Cosmo staff and readership, Mr. Pink’s is staging this silent – as in written, not spoken – protest. (And also, you know, checking out Cosmo’s recs and seeing how they fare on the ol’ Pink-O-Meter).

Cosmo writer Jill Hamilton and graphic artist Lauren Ahn concocted their guide to female-friendly porn is the hopes of (according to Ahn’s rating meter graphic) turning women away from Ron Jeremy and his ilk and towards James Deen and the new generation of adventurous pornographers. After proffering free sites (and irresponsibly sidestepping the wealth of piracy and copyright problems plaguing the industry) and Tumblr feeds (erotic literature, female orgasm guides) of little use to anyone keen to avoid unbearably pretentious “literotica”, Hamilton brought us to sites more commonly identified as commercial pornography that she felt a good fit for Cosmo’s readers. The list, while not exactly throwing out a bevy of surprises, features some stellar adult sites that also come with Mr. Pink’s glowing recommendation.

Masturbation sites I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both by Feck of The Netherlands, garnered raves for their incredible intimacy and drastically different approach to visual arousal, earning 4-out-of-5 each on the Jeremy-to-James hotness scale. Erika Lust of Lust Cinema’s viewer-submitted fantasy site, X-Confessions also caught the attention of Hamilton for its short films conceived by women. Beautiful cinematography an performers give a classy feel to X-Confessions, which also earns a 4 from Cosmo. Curiously, Kink is also noted as a must-see but given a non-rating of 1-5; “They’ll probably have what you want and other things you didn’t know you wanted may end up in your cart as well,” Hamilton writes. The clear winner, though – and this will hardly surprise anyone who’s discussed porn with a woman under 60 in the past five years – is Mr. Deen himself, his official site scoring a perfect 5 for giving this particular journalist the feeling of being “vicariously well-fucked,” and left with “a mysterious glow the rest of the day.”

James Deen, Cosmo’s cure for the sexually frustrated woman in your life… whether you like it or not.

James Deen review