Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 145

Kayla Kayden Loves Boys

Appearing first as Lacy Spice in a Playboy pictorial and masturbating at Twistys before adopting the much pornier moniker Kayla Kayden and entertaining fans live via MyFreeCams, there’s a blonde Italian-American tearing up the hetero porn world of late and earning comparisons to the legendary Jenna Jameson. And, naturally for any big-breasted blonde with boundless enthusiasm for large dick, Kayla has made her B/G debut under the direction of the masters of bimbo-styled pornstar worship, Brazzers. More specifically, she steams up the screen at the (in this case) extremely appropriately titled Baby Got Boobs!

Brazzers’ newly adopted use of 60fps slow-motion footage might not be the best way to showcase such immoveable artificial boobage, making them look a little like cement orbs attached to a waving flag, but Kayla otherwise looks a treat, swanning around under the hot Californian sun and slathering her 32DD-25-34 frame with one of those unlabeled, possibly homemade bottles of lube before inviting Kieran Lee to apply his handiwork. Soaking up the rays poolside, the pair make the most of the opportunity – Kayla seems especially enthusiastic and is very vocal about it – and end with one of those half-in, half-out creampies that leave a very visible mess. Good thing the pool (which the housesitting Mr. Lee was instructed not to use) is warm and inviting and perfect for a swift cleanup.

Unlike those pornstars who’ve pledged themselves to Brazzers via long-term exclusive performance contracts, Kayla Kayden is keeping her options open and enjoying her newly hetero couplings, having already shot for Brazzers’ Big Tits at School with Jessy Jones, a Digital Playground Raw Cuts video with Ramon Nomar, and taking on Danny D for another as-yet-unnamed Brazzers site. Clearly, this stacked, sweet-voiced blonde is heading for porno superstardom, so why not get in on the ground floor and enjoy every moment of Kayla Kayden’s rise to the top?

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Porn Pros

Finding a killer online porn deal is like shooting lazy, overweight fish in a too-small barrel. There’s bargains everywhere you turn and ads a-plenty to alert you to their offerings, but Mr. Pink, always on the lookout for the best and boldest and most affordable adult entertainment, likes to clue his readers in to deals they might otherwise miss. This week, we’re taking a look at the 22-site network Porn Pros.

Porn Pros’ niche and kink-oriented websites focus on young harlots (Teen BFF, 18 Years Old), bondage-infused humiliation porn (Amateur Violations, Disgraced 18, MILF humiliation), the biggest tits ‘n’ boners in porn (Freaks of Boobs, Freaks of Cock), dark-skinned babes (40oz Bounce, Pimp Parade), adventurous oral sex and massive facials (Deep Throat Love, Cumshot Surprise, LOL Cumshot, Cum Disgrace), female ejaculation (Squirt Disgrace), continental hotties (Euro Humpers), sexy yoga devotees (Flexible Positions), inter-generational sex (Jurassic Cock), hardcore lesbian couplings (Cruelty Party), “homemade” sex tapes (Real Ex Girlfriends), sensual rubdowns (Massage Creep), and even a game show built around a giant penis (Cock Competition). While hardly the most realistic porn network on the ‘net, Porn Pros adds significant spice to otherwise tired concepts and features the work of such dynamite ladies as Anissa Kate, Dani Daniels, Anikka Albrite, Tasha Reign, and Holly Michaels, who appears in an incredible 59 scenes!

Although some Porn Pros sites are no longer updating, leaving Teen BFF, Massage Creep, Real Ex Girlfriends, and 18 Years Old to deliver the bulk of the network’s new material, there’s more than enough highly varied content here to keep any porn fanatic busy for six months or more, and, at $17.95-a-month, Mr. Pink’s current Porn Pros deal is too good to pass up. Don’t believe me? Maybe you’ll believe…

THE MATH:
Porn Pros’ 22 sites hold a collective 2,825 scenes, averaging 128 scenes-per-site and giving each scene an approximate cost of only .64¢, and puts each site at just 81¢-per-month. With a month at Porn Pros now available for a measly $17.95 and updates hitting the homepage about 20 times each each month, even those members watching only the newest content get a great deal: roughly 89¢-per-new-scene. Although it’s not exactly the perfect porn network, Porn Pros is absolutely essential viewing for any porn fan worth his (or her) salt.

Win Yourself an AVN Experience to Remember!

So you think you’ve got what it takes to shoot the shit with porn’s most dazzling personalities while maintaining an entertaining and professional manner? And you think you’ll be able to withstand the glitz and glamor of the 2015 AVN Awards, focusing on the task at hand even if that task is interviewing performers, directors, producers, and presenters? Well, my friend, you’ll now have your shot – or, you’ll have your shot at getting your shot, at least – thanks to the good folks at Adult DVD Empire.

Offering one porn fan the chance to be their official AVN correspondent this coming January at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Adult DVD Empire is asking wannabe porn reporters to shoot a brief YouTube video that proves to judges why you’re a worthy recipient of such a distinguished honor. Oh, and Bonnie Rotten tells you the basics of the competition in a cheap, fast, and flashy video (seen below). The winner, and there can be only one, will receive airfare from anywhere in the continental United States to Las Vegas and hotel accommodation for three nights so you can take in every moment of the Adult Entertainment Expo and the AVN Awards, both which you’ll naturally also win passes to. You’ll probably get a lanyard, too. (People still think lanyards are awesome, right?)

If you’re so inclined, dear reader, I’d suggest boning up on your comedic timing and witty repartee, and perhaps throwing some slickness into your video presentation, ’cause there’s bound to be plenty of self-described awesomely funny folks who’ll do almost anything to meet and greet pornstar babes galore, giving you some stiff competition. How are you going to stand out? What will you do to be granted use of a camera, microphone, and laminated access pass that no other porno superfan would even consider, let alone commit to? Now, all you up-and-coming Dave Attells and Lisa Lampinellis of the world, get shootin’!

Vivid’s 10 Best Sex Tapes

Hollywood and the porn industry aren’t as separate as many would like to believe. Aside from geographical proximity, there’s many other factors shared by both industries: an obsession with physical beauty, market dominance by a select few studios, a growing piracy problem, and a reputation for filling the world with puerile nonsense.

There’s also a few more direct commonalities best exemplified by the rise of celebrity sex tapes. And nobody in porn is better equipped to discuss the “private” hardcore recordings of minor (very, very minor) celebrities than the man who ushered them into homes around the world: Vivid Entertainment founder and co-chairman, Mr. Steven Hirsch. Speaking to Supercompressor, Hirsch laid out his opinion on which pseudo-celeb fuck-fests were the most influential and, dare I say, important.

Predictably, tapes featuring Kendra Wilkinson, Kim Kardashian, Farrah Abraham, and Tila Tequila all make the list, but notably absent is arguably the most famous sex tape of all time: 1 Night in Paris. Originally released by Red Light Video, the video that thrust Ms. Hilton into our hearts and homes doesn’t strictly count as a Vivid release in Hirsch’s eyes, not like Backdoor to Chynna starring the wrestler of the same name or The 11th Hole, which starred Tiger Woods’ real-life mistress Joslyn James, both of which Vivid had exclusive rights to from the beginning, even before the shoot… Wait a good gosh darned minute!

Of the ten titles noted by Hirsch as paragons of celebrity sex tape culture are not the private homemade kind at all, but faux amateur productions that, from the get-go, were clearly intended to launch the porn careers, however short-lived, of their stars. Farrah Abraham Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom co-starred the biggest male pornstar on Earth, Chynna’s feature was the result of her pitch to Vivid and featured standard porno production values, Montana Fishburne was gearing up for a longer career in adult before her famous pops put an end to it, and Real Housewives of Atlanta spin-off Mimi & Nikko: Scandal in Atlanta was an obvious cash-grab attempt at further infamy, and Kendra Exposed was so clearly a publicity stunt that even Ms. Wilkinson’s tears over its release were declared as fake as a Cetaphil Lotion cumshot.

Call me a cynic, but I’ll take genuine amateur porn, for all its shitty camerawork and no-name performers, over a phony “private” celebrity vanity production any day.