Category: Porn

Porn related blog posts

Porn Parody Roundup!

The porn parody craze that has been sweeping the industry for a couple of years shows no sign of abating anytime soon and there are plenty of parodies of pop culture icons hitting the shelves (both IRL and online) now and in the near future. Hardcore takes on everything from The Hangover to semi-obscure Batman-related all-female superhero trios to alien-zapping government agents are set to take over your small (or egregiously large) computer or TV screen, so I, Mr. Pink, decided to keep you filled in on all the whos and wherefores and WTFs of the latest slate of porn parody hits.

Hairy Twatter

Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush sees a bespectacled young wizard anxiously sift through the female students of Whore’s Wart’s School for Witches and Wizards in search of his holy grail: a girl with a bushy pussy. Frustrated, Harry grabs his wand and lets loose some dark magic to bring these bald twats to hirsute life. From DreamZone Entertainment, Hairy Twatter stars Jessie Andrews, Nora Sky, Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Michael Vegas and more; written and directed by Jordan Septo, Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush has just been released and is already casting its spell on many viewers.

The Official Hangover Parody

The Official Hangover Parody might not be the most inventive name for, well, an official parody of the Vegas-destroying hit comedy, The Hangover, but with a lineup including Brooklyn Lee, Dana Dearmond, Misty Stone, Lexi Belle, Tori Black and Skin Diamond, and with James Deen, Marco Banderas, and Dane Cross as the drunkenly debaucherous trio of bachelor partying buddies, this effort from Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs is sure to be a hoot. (And it also features Ron Jeremy in a reportedly hilarious cameo appearance.) By the time you read this, The Official Hangover Parody should be hitting shelves and online retailers, so get crackin’, bros!

Birds of Prey XXX

While it might not be as obvious a choice for parody as Batman himself, Birds of Prey XXX sees Brooklyn Lee, Gracie Glam, and Kagney Linn Karter hit the streets of Gotham to solve the crimes the Caped Crusader simply doesn’t have time to attend to. As Oracle, Huntress, and Black Canary respectively, this trio of immensely popular pornstars don some rather racy costumes and burst onto the parody porn scene thanks to Sinister Comixxx as they confront Gotham’s latest she-menaces, Alexis Texas, Chanel Preston, and Lizzy Borden. Out now, Birds of Prey XXX is available in a deluxe 3-DVD metal collector’s tin and online through Extreme Entertainment Network’s Roku hookup.

Men in Black XXX Parody

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are the last guys you’d want to see in a hardcore porn movie – your girlfriend and your mother, however, might take different stances – but their alien-fighting characters from the roaringly successful franchise from Columbia Pictures Entertainment are given the hardcore parody treatment thanks to Wicked Pictures and director Brad Armstrong. Starring Ethan Hunt and Randy Spears are the guys wielding the biggest ray-guns here and they’re aiming them at Misty Stone, India Summer, Isis Taylor, Nicole Aniston and a handful of other babes, Earthlings and otherwise. Oh yeah, and Xander Corvus plays a floating worm with a humanoid head. Go figure.

What, no parody of Red Tails or Frankenweenie?

Crowning Miss BangBros

Miss Bang BrosIf the parents of pageant contestants are to be believe, every girl just really wants to be a princess, like, soooo much! The closest the young women of America will get, however, is being crowned Miss University of Phoenix, Miss West Texas, or Miss Westfield Tukwila, Washington. As for the young women of porn, well, they’re aiming for a decidedly more risqué crown: Miss BangBros.

After being nominated as contenders for Best Ass in the Biz, Best Cock Sucker, Hottest MILF, Bang Anal Princess, Best Rack, and Best New Cummer, a group of porn’s most dazzling performers are now fishing for your votes. The contenders, gentlemen, are as follows:

Best Ass in the Biz:

Rachel Starr

Christy Mack

Alexis Texas

Sara Jay

Franceskca Jaimes

Best Cock Sucker:

Lisa Ann

Diamond Kitty

Yurizan Beltran

Abella Anderson

Kelly Divine

Hottest MILF:

Rachel Starr

Lisa Ann

Kendra Lust

Sara Jay

Phoenix Marie

Bang Anal Princess:

Jynx Maze

Asa Akira

Phoenix Marie

Courtney Cummz

Jada Stevens

Best Rack:

Gianna Michaels

Sophie Dee

Jayden Jaymes

Ava Addams

Abella Anderson

Best New Cummer:

Siri

Christy Mack

Kendra Lust

Remmy LaCroix

Jessie Rogers

Mr. Pink’s picks? Well, first of all I’m flattered that you’d ask. Now, even though a few categories are missing the women I’d have instantly awarded the top prize – no Charley Chase for Best Cock Sucker? no Kagney Linn Karter for Best Rack? and how the hell are Skin Diamond and Holly Michaels not nominated for Best New Cummer? – the choices of this reviewer were fairly quick to arrive. My votes have gone to the assiest woman in porn, Alexis Texas; that fearless cock gobbler, Kelly Divine; the undisputed queen of MILF porn, Lisa Ann (although I personally would prefer the other Ann, Julia); the only pornstar to grin from ear-to-ear with a huge dick ramming through her rear passage in every anal scene she’s shot, Jynx Maze; one of the greatest, bustiest babes porn has ever seen, Gianna Michaels; and the only New Cummer contender to go from aces (almost every scene she’s shot) to “nay, sirs” (that horrible boobjob) while still being considered a noob, Jessie Rogers.

It’ll be interesting to see who walks away with the crowns, but as there’s no voting deadline given, we’ll just to wait, eyes firmly fixed on the Bang Bros blog to find out. In the meantime, let us know your picks! Leave a courteous comment or start a pro-Asa, anti-Jynx flame war! Just don’t sit idly by and let others decide who’ll take the crowns, penis statues, and more importantly the work!

Ron and Nina’s Twilight Romance

Nina Hartley and Ron JeremyAsk any porn fan who the most acclaimed and respected living legends of the adult industry are, one of either sex, and you’ll no doubt have the names Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy tossed your way. Now, after a combined 62 years of onscreen experience, these two legends have been paired together in a new feature from Hustler, entitled Nina Loves Ron.

A satire of modern dating rituals, Nina Loves Ron sees the two infamous pornstars, entrepreneurs, crossover icons, and free speech advocates reunite under the direction of Axel Braun. With all new scenes featuring, according to AVN, “the trials of online dating, the first tentative steps of budding love, and (of course) sex,” the DVD, available from July 31st, also packs in a handful of the two superstars’ most sizzling scenes, scenes co-starring such other porno legends as Tom Byron, Renee Morgan, and Crystal Wilder.

Although no doubt an irreverent look at romance in the digital age, Nina Loves Ron also promises to deliver the righteous fucking with a (dare I say) romantic touch; so much so that Hustler is touting it as “the Ultimate Romance movie.” At their respective ages of 59 and 53, Ron and Nina are some of the oldest performers still throwing their bodies before a camera and delivering memorable sex. The combination of these two middle-aged is sure to be a turn-off for those viewers who refuse to even bother with MILF porn, let alone hardcore scenes starring almost-sixty-year-olds, but those of us who are perfectly comfortable with people older than ourselves having and indeed needing an active, exciting sex life will no doubt be thrilled at this illustrious pairing.

While exact details of the release are still under wraps, this teaser image from Hustler’s Facebook page suggests the two hardcore legends have delivered fun, lively performances. Are there any other similarly aged performers still in the business, let alone cool and comfortable enough to poke fun not only at themselves, but at the industry that spawned their celebrity and the very idea of dating (and fucking) through one’s fifties and into one’s sixties? No, there isn’t, which is why Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy are as close as pornstars come to being national treasures.

Fred Willard: Busted for Beat-Off

Remember when Paul “Pee-Wee Herman” Ruebens was busted for masturbating in a Florida porn theater back in 1991 and how it all but ruined his career for a good eight or nine years? Well, Fred Willard, star of TV’s Fernwood Tonight and Modern Family, and films like Anchorman and Best in Show, is facing the same crisis of celebrity after also being found beating-off in Hollywood Tiki Theater, a theater screening adult movies, by LAPD officers.

Willard was arrested on July 18 after an LAPD officer conducting a “walk-through” in the theater allegedly found the comedian engaging in a “lewd act”. While many news outlets have been reporting the act as masturbation, plain and simple, Willard offered his version of events on Twitter.

The film in question? Well, at the time of his arrest Willard would’ve been watching one of three movies playing on a rotating schedule: Follow Me 2 (Evil Angel), Official The Client List Parody (Zero Tolerance), or Relax He’s My Stepdad 2 (Combat Zone). Instead of venturing out into (relative) public world to, uh, enjoy himself with a porn movie, perhaps Willard should’ve stayed home. That’s the sentiment behind an offer from Gamelink, an adult video-on-demand service; an offer of a lifetime supply of V.O.D. minutes and a free masturbator sex toy of his choice.

Man, maybe I should start beating off in theaters, too!