Porn Reviews | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 77

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Hustler

We all owe Larry Flynt big time. Without the Hustler head honcho’s relentless protection of the civil liberties of the American public, we’d still be staring at well-dressed women and marveling at their ankles! Thanks to Flynt’s Hustler empire we’ve been granted visual access to some incredibly lustful women in the pages of his magazines and now online at Hustler.com. Thanks should also be extended to Mr. Pink’s, though, for without the bargain hunting skills of our intrepid deal scouts, we’d never be able to offer you the Hustler deal of the decade!

Hustler isn’t a lone hardcore site, not by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a network of 19 websites and usually costs $34.95-a-month. For good reason, too, since membership opens the doors to Hustler’s Taboo, Barely Legal, and Hustler HD sites, as well as VCA Classics (golden age porn), Anal Hookers, Asian Fever, Beaver Hunt, Bossy MILFs, Busty Beauties, Daddy Gets Lucky (age-play), Hometown Girls and Hottie Moms (two sites with “amateur” babes), Hustlaz (black and interracial), Hustler’s Lesbians, Hustler’s College Girls, Muchas Latinas, Scary Big Dicks, Too Many Trannies, and the company’s now-notorious Hustler’s Parodies movies. That’s a huge variety of smut by anyone’s standards and with most of it hitting that high Hustler quality benchmark, it’s one well worth a little cyber-cash on. (Although the heavy presence of non-exclusive, non-Hustler works is a bit of a let down.)

THE MATH:
Mr. Pink’s discount brings the normal $34.95 monthly membership price down to only $19.95, you’re already saving close to half, to look at it another way, getting everything at twice the value! Each of the 19 Hustler websites come out to less than $1.05 with this deal. DVDs, of which there are 2,075, can be had for less than 1¢ each, while individual scenes, currently amounting to 10,076, end up costing an absolute pittance, only a fraction of a cent, just .19¢!

Oh, and there’s 215 issues of Hustler, Barely Legal, and Taboo magazines digitized to for your online reading pleasure, too, if that helps seal the deal. And to celebrate Black Friday, you can now join Hustler for only $14.95 now through December 3rd when you sign up through Mr. Pink’s special Hustler Holiday promotion link. Thanks, Larry!

The Porn Dude Advises

Back in the days the 33.3k modems, heavily contested phone line access, and piled-high floppy disk archives, there was one website above all others that broadened my pornographic horizons and lowered my tolerance for worthless smut. That website, Sublime Directory was, in essence, a listing of adult websites of all kinds, from all countries, and it introduced me to facials, gangbangs, scat, and the amazing work of amateur pornographers the world over. Times changes, though, and people move on. I’d learned more than enough during my patronage of Sublime Directory that I could confidently instruct my friends on where to find celebrity nudes screen-capped from VHS tapes, Southeast Asian pissing videos, or the elusive DVDA we first heard about via South Park. I was, in effect, the porn connoisseur you would all soon come to know and love me as. It was time for something new, so I ventured forth into the professional porn world alone, without any website to guide my taste and opinion. Mr. Pink’s was born and set about un-muddying the world of paid online porn to ensure you, the home viewer, would never be left feeling a pizza was a better option than beating off to, say, Twistys’ bikini galleries.

Every now and then, a potential replacement for my beloved Sublime Directory comes along and asks to be pilfered for porno info. The Porn Dude is one such website, and one such character. Holding court over a simply designed range of charts that chronicle the most visited and most beloved adult websites on the ‘net. And this isn’t just mainstream U.S. porn either, there’s webcam, picture and gif dump, Asian and Arab and Ebony porn sites, the best NSFW Reddit forums, choice picks of hentai, celebrity nudes (real and fake), Tumblr feeds, XXX comics, and adult Flash video games. Fetish sites, explicit Vines, watersports and scat, and adults-only dating sites all get a run, too, with many well-known Mr. Pink’s favorites topping lists left, right, and center.

The Porn Dude’s links are reliably live – I came upon no missing pages or dead links – but, while they connect you to image boards, preview sites, and free content of all kinds, this isn’t a link directory in the same sense of those early ones, Sublime Directory included. You won’t find links to promotional Brazzers, Naughty America, or Net Video Girls scenes here and although that might irritate those on the hunt for a specific woman or very specific act. We who remember the nightmarish pop-up onslaughts and abruptly-ending 10-second preview clips, on the other hand, won’t mind a bit. It would be nice to see a portion of The Porn Dude’s service dedicated to porn reviewers and advice forums to provide sage wisdom from yours truly and colleagues on the merit of the porn you’re now so well connected to. A stronger search tool would also be a welcome addition to this otherwise comprehensive link-fest The Porn Dude has assembled for your benefit. Why not at least bestow upon him a visit if not your undying respect and admiration. After all, he’s gone to so much effort. Thanks, Porn Dude!

Beatin’ on a Budget! with JAV HD

It’s quite rare for an all-Japanese porn site or network to avoid the heavy hand of the national censors and actually distribute extremely explicit pornography, no matter how tame it may seem to us Westerners. That explicit depiction of sex acts is only one of the reasons JAV HD is a network worth your time, attention, and yes, possibly your money. There’s few other sites and network offering such a large collection of uncensored J-porn and even fewer with sites devoted to squirting, schoolgirls, MILFs and pubic muffs. So perhaps your long, exhausting search for an Asian porno wonderland is finally at an end.

JAV HD’s 13 websites all have their own focus: Pussy AV’s vaginal obsession, Hey Outdoor’s sunny beachside romps, Lingerie AV’s bra-and-pantie combos, Hairy AV’s pubically hirsute beauties, AV Stocking’s and its hosiery-covered legs, AV Anal’s devotion to rear-end plugging and playing, the hefty boobage of AV Tits, Schoolgirls HD’s uniformed student sluts, Gang AV’s gangbangers and gangbangees, the mature harlots of Hey MILF, blowjobs of Ferame, and squirting of Shiofuky, as well as with AV69’s idol-focused glamour-porn.

Equally as important as what sites are included in JAV HD’s motherly reach is how well they’re presented. All sites now offer 720p and 1080p High Definition videos as standard, also delivering 2000px photo galleries in most cases and giving its models detailed profile pages to introduce them to their newest, biggest fans. A few warnings, though, before you rush into a JAV HD membership a little too quickly: don’t expect English-language scenes or translation of Japanese dialog; don’t be surprised to find a few dupe updates across the network; and don’t go hog-wild on your downloading as a flexible monthly transfer limit is in place for all users. (See the full Mr. Pink’s JAV HD porn review for full details!)

THE MATH:
With a discount from Mr. Pink’s bringing the standard $29.95 monthly price of JAV HD membership down to only $19.95, the value of this irrepressible network only increases. With 13 sites online, each one works out to cost you only $1.42! And, with 17,000 scenes online, you’re looking at a cost-per-scene of only .117¢. That’s, like, 850 scenes for a buck, man! Throw in photo galleries and you’ve got an incredible deal that should have any J-porn fan shouting “Saikou!” from the rooftops!

New Sensations, New Style

New Sensations has long been a company that prided itself on being utterly contemporary. From its very name to its observance of porno trends – which, of late, has seen many a new series focusing on pseudo-incestuous sex, cuckolding, and BBW performers – New Sensations aims to keep its audience tickled by trend recognition while always increasing in size. Now, in much the same way a few other big name networks have done, New Sensations has redesigned its members-only website for modern use.

Outside it’s still the same New Sensations of old, but inside members find a shiny new layout only launched this week. A large banner greets and entices members to check out featured titles – Hey, it’s Kelly Shibari in her very own NS title! – sitting neatly above the latest updates and featured Girl of the Month – Carter Cruise, what the fuck is up, girl? – while a simple text menu lays out your browsing options and remains always available.

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Clearly designed with tablet use in mind, the new New Sensations orients page elements in a tightly packed but not overcrowded way so that, once a scene has been selected, your viewing window is not caged in by ads and content links. You’ll still find related scenes displayed beneath your selected erection-inducer, but you’re not bombarded with additional options while trying to focus on, say, Brooke Wylde’s big tits.

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As always, it’s great to see a prominent adult network keeping up-to-date with advancing technology and putting control in the hands of its members, whatever viewing platform they prefer to use when browsing one-handed New Sensations’ endless supply of awesome porn. Next up (I presume), New Sensations rejigged mobile platform! (‘Cause the current one is ugly as sin.)