Sex Toys | Mr. Pink's Blog

Eco-Friendly Vibes? Like, Totally Trippendicular!

Alicia Silverstone might be turning to cookbooks to make a dime these days, years after her Clueless fame faded into a nostalgia trip for 30-year-olds, but her more recent career activities aren’t entirely unsexy. On her website The Kind Life, the actress and health nut pimps products that are vegan, cruelty-free, and sourced from sustainable materials in an eco-friendly way. Now, on Open Sky, Silverstone is endorsing a product few would’ve predicted she’d attach her name to: vibrators.

Described as “personal luxury massagers designed for natural pleasure”, the six new vibrators from Leaf are eco-friendly and have 100% silicone bodies with a silky smooth finish, as well as being completely “body safe”. Ranging from the more basic, leaf-shaped Life and heart-shaped Fresh, the strongest and second smallest in the collection, to rabbit-eared Vitality, long and subtly curved Touch, ultra-discrete Spirit, and twin-motored flexible Bloom, Leaf offers a guilt-free self-pleasuring experience that someone of Silverstone’s environmentally pure nature can’t help but love.

With the holiday season approaching and our girlfriends, wives, and occasional sexual partners uniformly devoting themselves (with various degrees of genuine commitment) to an eco-friendly lifestyle, Leaf seems a surefire way to increase her sexual enjoyment without an iota of guilt… unless, that is, there’s something she hasn’t told you. With that in mind, how about picking up some “ethical” vegan condoms from Glyde?

Scare Yourself Stiff with Fleshlight!

By now every porn-loving guy on the planet should be familiar with Fleshlight, the discreet, portable masturbation aid for men that offers custom molds of pornstar pussies in a variety of flesh-like textures. But with Halloween approaching, it seems only fitting that guys might want something a little otherworldly to stick their dick in. Asa Akira, love her to death, just doesn’t scream Halloween!

Fleshlight’s Freaks range of penis receptacles for men and dildos for women offer spooky Halloween-themed sexual satisfaction under the names Zombie, Alien, Frankenstein, Drac, and Cyborg. Modeled after some of history’s most monstrous creations (and those fucking blue Avatar creatures!) the Fleshlight Freaks range is one of the most inspired and original creations to come out of the sexual aid industry in quite some time.

Zombie’s feel is that of decaying flesh, with a warped, mangled texture that only the freakiest of masturbators (and die-hard zombie fans) will relish. The wrinkled, wounded phallus that is its dildo counterpart is truly horrifying and looks ready to fuck your girl’s brains out whether you want it to or not.

The electric blue Alien dick-sleeve has a more box-like opening than a humanoid vagina and looks surprisingly warm and inviting, while the Alien dildo, also glowing blue, is extra wide and just humanoid enough to seem like an evolutionary step up from what you’re no doubt packing.

The stitched faux-flesh of the “Frankenvag” and the piecemeal phallus dubbed “Frankencock” are oversized and sit right on the edge of perfection and collapse, with the famous Monster’s neck bolts now transplanted to the shaft of this Shelley-inspired dick. A truly barbaric junkpile modification of the human penis.

Drac takes the most romantic and erotic of the famous monsters and presents it in a more explicit hardcore rendering. Bat-wing labia open the door to your impending loss of fluids while the stake-like, thick-veined, crimson boner equivalent dildo is perfectly symmetrical and bound to thrill your Twilight-obsessed ladyfriend.

Perhaps the scariest of all Fleshlight Freaks, however, is Cyborg. The robotically ribbed SuperSkin-textured offers a bionic pussy for you to pound and comes in both vibrating and non-vibrating editions. Women, meanwhile, are presented with a cobalt blue, almost purple shaft that looks more like a futuristic videogame joystick than the fuckstick you’re wielding. Ribbed, ribbed, ribbed with a bumpy shaft and artificially sleek sack, the Cyborg rod could soon replace you if you don’t adapt and evolve.

Oh, and don’t take these out trick-or-treating or you’re liable to end up behind bars at the mercy of a fat, sweaty, tattooed cellmate!

Two New Fan-Approved Fleshlight Girls

In an unexpected tie, Kayden Kross and Alexis Texas have both managed to pull in an even number of votes and both score the highly coveted 2012 Searchlight prize from Fleshlight: their very own, custom-crafted Fleshlight replica! Announced live at the Comedy Store in Hollywood during comedian Sam Tripoli’s The Naughty Show, the two winners pulled ahead of other contestant, Asphyxia Noir, to nab the joint prize. Now, only two days later, Kayden has her own profile page on Fleshlight’s endlessly entertaining website and fans can already buy their way into her two-time AVN Award-winning pussy.

The Searchlight competition ran for months and featured heavily on Fleshlight’s blog, Fleshlife. There, users can now view all of the videos made with each of the three contestants, videos in which they state their case and tell you why their pussies deserve to be immortalized by the producers of the adult industry’s most acclaimed male masturbator toys.

Asphyxia, with her facial tattoos and pseudo-gothic styling may have been a little too intimidating for many voters, but the well-read, surprisingly articulate Kayden, the favorite, was, with her Texan co-winner, enticing enough to get guys voting like crazy. Hell, Kayden has even been given her own unique Fleshlight texture, dubbed “Bookworm” after her love of reading.

As for Alexis and her snatch… well, I suppose we’ll just have to be patient.

Sex, Toys & Rock ‘n’ Roll

Unless you’re Tommy Lee of Motley Crue (and Pamela Anderson sex tape) fame, being a drummer in a hard rock band doesn’t exactly equate to any kind of career in the sex industry, but Phil Varone of Skid Row is out to change all that. California Exotic Novelties, one of the leading producers of sexual aids in the USA, has signed the tattooed tub-thumper to a partnership that see Varone extend his already well established line of sexual products into the toy and novelty arena. (The drummer has already unleashed Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash, a feature-length sex tape compilation documenting his wild backstage antics both in and out of groupies’ pussies.) Dubbed Phil Varone’s Sex, Toys & Rock ‘n’ Roll, the product line launched back in May and is already making a splash.

The flagship product of Varone’s novelty line comes, not surprisingly, from a cast of the man’s member. Claiming to be the world’s first dong with a Prince Albert piercing, Dr. Philgood comes in vibrating and non-vibrating versions and presents its users with six inches of insertable shaft with a circumference of six-and-a-half inches and a nickel-free stainless steel semi-circular piercing. Varone’s latest endeavor isn’t purely a self-congratulatory exercise, though, and his other products prove that. The Cock-toban Penis Pump allegedly aids penile growth. The All Access Vibrating Pass comes in red and black and is a bullet-shaped vibrator with handy wrist strap. Erections can be enhanced and extended with the Ghost Rocker, while the Pierced Rocker cock ring adds a testicular support for additional stability. The line includes nipple clamps and cock rings galore, but peaks with Varone’s Sex Stix, a pair of multi-speed vibrating drum sticks “for solo or ensemble performance” that come complete with Phil’s signature scrawled on the shaft.

To take a peek behind the molding and casting process that produced readymade replicas of Varone’s seasoned boner, check out this “long form” (lol) video.

THE LONG FORM VIDEO- MOLDING PHIL VARONE’S DONG from visionmind on Vimeo.