Sex Toys | Mr. Pink's Blog

An Overload of Kelly Shibari

Enter the name “Kelly Shibari” into Google and the first result you’ll get isn’t a Wikipedia entry, podcast interview, or guide to the art of Japanese rope bondage, it’s a sponsored advertisement for Fleshlight. To be more specific, it’s a Fleshlight ad promoting the company’s latest Fleshlight Girl, whose vulva has been cast in a mold for your masturbatory pleasure. To be even more specific, that new Fleshlight Girl is none other than the reigning queen of BBW porn, Kelly Shibari.

For those who’ve been living under a rock these past few years (at least where porno’s concerned), Kelly Shibari is the Japanese-born, LA and Vegas-based adult superstar whose ample figure and indomitable attitude has helped bring about a renewed interest in all things Big, Beautiful, and Womanly. As if she didn’t have her fingers in enough porn-related pies – she’s also a producer/director, runs three websites (Padded Kink, Kelly Shibari XXX, and The PRSM Group, the latter a social media marketing consultancy firm), a sometime host of Playboy Radio’s ‘Night Calls’ show, has won a Feminist Porn Award, played the title role in Roseanne: The Parody XXX, and was even featured in a video for German metal band Rammstein’s song ‘Mein Land’ – Kelly now takes a starring role of a very different kind as one of Fleshlight’s flagship models. With her privates now immortalized in Fleshlight form for her growing legion of ardent admirers to fuck, you’d think Kelly’d take a bit time off, but instead she’s set to unleash upon porn fans her debut feature-length DVD release, Kelly Shibari is Overloaded. Oh yeah, and she directed the damn thing, too!

Overloaded, which hits retail stores September 26 but has already managed to top the Videos4Sale best-seller list for four consecutive weeks, shows Kelly celebrating Japan’s recent victory in the FIFA Women’s World Cup by performing for the very first time a blowbang and bukkake scene in which her co-stars are none other than the fans she’s been tantalizing and entertaining all along. Twenty lucky fans managed to ace the health tests Kelly rightfully required and participated in the event, which now takes top billing on her forthcoming DVD. Also on the menu are a number of other firsts for Kelly: her first group sex scene, first anal creampie, and first double-vaginal with creampie.

Best of all, folks, Kelly (along with Fleshlight, Exile Distribution, and Monarchy Distribution) is running a “Pink Ticket” contest that will result in one extraordinarily lucky fan being the recipient of a personalized erotic video shot by Kelly of Kelly exclusively for their own personal use with (you guessed it) a signed, personalized Kelly Shibari Fleshlight. And just so other fans don’t feel left out, anyone who buys Kelly Shibari is Overloaded on DVD will find a discount code inside that’ll allow them to wield their very own signed, personalized Fleshlight so they too can fuck Kelly ’til their heart’s content… or ’til it sputters out from all the excitement.

Fleshlight Goes Interactive

Fleshlight, the company that brought you molded masturbator sheaths in the shape of the pussies of pornstars Asa Akira, Tori Black, Lisa Ann, Jesse Jane, Jessica Drake and others, has upped the game once again by introducing Vstroker, a customizable, reactive attachment that fits any Fleshlight and puts you on a pleasure plane high above anything you’ve ever tried before.

A definite challenge to the interactive RealTouch device, which reacts to onscreen action, tightening its grip and increasing the pace of its contractions as the scene on your computer screen heats up, Vstroker instead puts you, not the video you’re watching, in charge of your artificially amplified beating off. With a motion sensor attachment and a wireless USB connector bridging the physical gap between your PC and your dick, Vstroker monitors the speed and ferocity of your thrusting and either speeds up or slows down the onscreen hardcore action to suit your pace.

With Fleshlight Girls Misty Stone and Asa Akira already providing tailor-made interactive video content that lets you fuck their mouths, pussies, and asses however you please, Vstroker is certainly off to a strong start. Can it wrangle domination of the interactive masturbator market from the soon-to-be-reviewed-by-yours-truly Real Touch, though? Would you prefer to sit back, enter your chosen orifice and let the girl take control of your pleasure or are you determined to do it your own way? Whatever your preference, it’s clear the future of interactive cyber sex is landing on the doorsteps of horny porn fan, wrapped discreetly in brown paper, right fucking now. This is the future we’ve been waiting for!

Happy and Horny Housewife

Dear Missy Pink;

I hope my letter falls under the criteria of what you offer advice for, it’s not really a sexual issue between my husband and I, but it is sexual about myself. I guess I would be considered a MILF of sort, I’m in my mid 40’s, have 2 grown children, a husband I adore, a good life, and a sex drive that just won’t stop! I work out at the gym 4 times a week, my husband always tells me how hot I still am, and our bedroom is kept active multiple times a week, even quickies in the middle of the day, but I need more. All I think about is the burning between my legs that needs constant attention. I’m wearing my spouse out, he’s more than happy to keep me satisfied, but, I haven’t told him just how sex driven I am, I’m afraid he’ll feel inadequate.

Happy and Horny Housewife

Dear Happy and Horny Housewife;

Well, it seems like you do have a bit of a dirty dilemma, but one that most any man in the world would love to be dealing with! Normally, after a few years of marriage, the husband ends up receiving more doggy style sex than anything, and in this case, it’s not what you think, actually, it’s where he sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead!

One thing I didn’t read in your letter was any reference to looking outside of your marriage for the means to manage your moisture, kudos to you for that! With that being said, I would say the answer to your sexual issue could be solved in one word….gasoline. Yes, fill your vehicle’s tank to full, take a trip to the next county over, find that little hidden shop that carries toys for big girls, and go on a shopping bender! You’re more than fortunate that your marital mate is ready to drop his boxers and service both of your needs on the frequent basis that he does, and who doesn’t love those afternoon quickies?! But if you’re still seeking something for your saturation, then I would advise you to maybe bypass the batteries and go for the big guns that run off of AC/DC. Don’t worry about shaving your legs, just spread them and let the gooey times roll!

You claim you need more attention from the comfort of your own bed, and it sounds as if even though your husband is very in tune with your body, maybe it’s time you take a little road trip over your own curves. If you’ve never thought about masturbation, it’s time you do. One thing about it, whenever you want it, you’re always available to do what needs done. Buy yourself a vibrator that does everything but the dishes, have a multitude of settings, take yourself through stimulating foreplay and then flip that baby to high and let the juices fly!

When you toss a load of whites into the washer, lean firmly against the front of the machine as the agitator starts, let it warm up your mid-section, and then set time aside for you to spend with your new purchase, you won’t be cheating on anyone, and those self induced orgasms through the day will be just the thing to hold your horniness over until the hubby gets home from work.

Scrape the dust off of your credit card, get excited tonight at the thought of your shopping spree tomorrow, and always remember, masturbation is sex with someone you love!

Smooshing and Screaming

Every Thursday night a rapidly declining percentage of the population of the United States tunes in to MTV for another rage-inducing episode of Jersey Shore, the reality show phenomenon that dumps four “guidos” and four “guidettes” into a share house off the boardwalk of the New Jersey shore and follows them as they drink, dance, and argue their way through another summer. Me, I’ve got a soft spot for the house newest resident, Deena, the self-described “blast in a glass,” who constantly seems to be unlucky in both love and lust while her roommates “get it in” on a near-nightly basis. Those in committed relationships, as absurd as that may seem, don’t seem to mind rubbing their sexual proclivities in Deena’s face, which is exactly what Jenni “JWOWW” Farley did on the most recent episode, The Truth Will Set You Free.

Intent on celebrating her one-year anniversary with muscle-bound boyfriend, Roger, with a night-long romp in the house “smoosh room” (where roommates takes their latest sexual conquests for a bit of privacy), JWOWW dragged her BFF (and America’s punching bag) Snooki to an adult novelty store and stocked up on supplies. Bringing home fake rose petals, bottles of Gatorade, fluffy pink handcuffs, and a Clone-a-Willy kit with which to immortalize Roger’s manhood, JWOWW was ensuring that her man’s jaw would be dragging along the presumably filthy shore house floor all the way to sexual heaven. Two key components of JWOWW’s seductive arsenal were The Screaming O Vibrating Ring and its big brother, The Big O, both of which are award-winning vibrating cock-rings designed to enhance pleasure for both partners when worn at the base of Rog… uh, “the man’s” erection.

These two most important items in her carnal armory we both snatched from a small red-and-white counter display and the company responsible for them, The Screaming O, seems mighty proud to be so blatantly featured on the show. “We’re glad we made it a special night for them,” The Screaming O’s Keith Caggiano told AVN. “The Screaming O helps couples stay connected , and since JWOWW and her boyfriend can’t see each other every day using our relationship tools and fun sexessories will surely keep things interesting.” Ah, “relationship tools,” is that what they’re called by folks in the know?