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Misti Dawn’s Vegas Wedding

Redheaded alt.porn goddess and Burning Angel’s reigning super-nerd, Misti Dawn, is one of Joanna Angel and Co.’s breakout stars. Well, she was until she found herself in something of a predicament. As she detailed recently on her blog, Meow Misti Dawn, the native Indianan celebrated her continued success in porn by trading vows and marrying fellow adult performer, Michael Vegas, in, well, Las Vegas, of course. One of the hottest young alt.pornstars in the business getting hitched to a well-endowed gentleman of similar professional pursuits – that, my friends, is what we call a porno dream come true.

Sharing their physical selves with others for money is one thing, but Misti and Michael shared so much more. After calls from fans for the tattooed redhead to give up her rear passage, Misti followed her anal debut (with James Deen in Burning Angel’s LA Pink) with a few interracial scenes in which she spread her lilywhite cheeks for dicks that’d usually have your average midwestern gamer-girl quaking in her Chuck Taylors. Mr. and Mrs. Vegas also spread their love online, both by appearing in scenes together and hosting blogs, podcasts, and their private sexual adventures with an audience that, truth be told, probably only cared because Misti is one of the more relatable and charming pornstars, “alt” or otherwise, of recent years.

As things so frequently seem to, though, Misti’s moment of porn industry bliss didn’t last long.

Warney No Porny?

In Australia, cricketers are revered as the most skillful of all athletes. Able to either deflect a speeding ball, hard as a brick, with nothing but a wooden plank as their tool or take said ball and manually send it flying down the pitch, bending, swaying, and cutting through the air almost as if controlled by telekinesis, the greatest Australian cricketers are nothing short of national heroes. Although now retired from the international game, former Australian spin bowler, international celebrity, and spokesman for hair regrowth treatment, nicotine chewing gum, and online poker companies, Shane Warne just keeps getting himself headlines. Tabloid fodder for years thanks to his predilection for sending saucy text messages, his fluctuating weight, and numerous marital infidelities, Warne, who was once dubbed The King of Spin for his near miraculous leg-spin bowling technique, now finds himself back in the spotlight for two reasons.

First, Warne’s grinning image has been popping up in some rather unexpected places recently, most notably on sexually explicit adult websites. No, “Warney” hasn’t dropped his daks for a nude pictorial, he’s just been plugging 888poker and the ads appeared on a number of adult websites, causing yet another sex-related controversy for one of the greatest cricketers of all time. Warne’s manager claimed to know no reason why the 888poker ads would be appearing on an adult site, but said he and his client would be investigating the issue and examining the ties between The Shane Warne Foundation, a charity the cricketer started a number of years ago, and the online poker company his blinding white teeth and sunglass adorned face are pimping in the ads. Sounds like a real non-event, don’t it? Well, in typically idiotic fashion, the printed and online rags of Australia have blown something insignificant way out of proportion because it’s their trusty whipping boy and headline ace Warney’s face planted right next to a gaping female asshole. Hey, maybe that’s why he’s grinning so much!

Oh, and the second reason Warne is back in the media spotlight? He’s engaged to marry Elizabeth Hurley.

RealTouch Gets Realer

Remember RealTouch, the male masturbation aid that allegedly feels about as close to actual vaginal penetration as current technologies can offer? Well, it may have impressed you back when it was first announced in 2008, but RealTouch just got a whole lot realer. The latest evolution of the device has been dubbed RealTouch Interactive and it gives the sleeve in which you nervously insert your penis a partner in carnal thrills: RealTouch JoyStick. But what does this allegedly interactivity entail? Couldn’t it be said that the original RealTouch, which reacted to the onscreen movements of your chosen RealTouch pornstar to provide you with a simulated sexual experience with that very woman, was also interactive? In short, dear readers, what gives?

RealTouch Interactive uses the RealTouch sleeve device and a partnered joystick to simulate the physical act of penetrative sex not with a pornstar, but with a real live woman. It works thanks to the miracle of “haptic technology” (whatever that is) and, for example, can provide long-distance couples with a way to keep the flames of passion alive while being out of reach. The woman takes in her hand the JoyStick controller and strokes it in whatever way she sees fit. The guy, on the other hand, seems to have little to do but sit back and let his partner work her manual magic. Man, isn’t this exactly what we’ve all been dreaming about since the very first time we heard about that thing called “virtual reality”?

RealTouch Interactive is currently in beta testing and participation is reserved for those who already own a RealTouch and are members of the RealTouch Network. What those folks who apply and are chosen to participate can expect is a little unclear at the moment. It does appear, though, that RealTouch Interactive can currently only be used, and possibly will only ever be used, for indirect simultaneous physical pleasure bestowed upon the lucky guy by a webcam model. Bummer, dude.

Still, what a world, eh? Who would’ve thought that such an ingenious sexual aid would arrive this early into the 21st Century? Certainly not all those guys out there making do with various homemade masturbation aids like a ziplock back inside a tightly wrapped towel, a toilet paper tube with a wet dish cloth stuffed inside, or, shit, even that well worn hole in the back of their favorite sofa cushion. If only these guys could get in on the RealTouch Interactive beta testing crew and let all of us eager beaverless brothers know how thrilling this latest and greatest virtual sex experience actually feels.

(And, yes, I’m still waiting for RealTouch to throw a porn reviewer a complimentary bone, or, more accurately, somewhere high-tech to shove mine.)

The Chubbiest Show in Vegas

Come July, chubby chasers can finally relax a little because the greatest BBW performers in adult entertainment will all be gathered in one convenient location: BBW FanFest 2012. The invited plump and sexy plus-sized performers, which include Kelly Shibari and Bunny de la Cruz, will head to the party capital of the USA, Las Vegas, for a three day celebration of all things erotically oversized. There’s plenty of fun stuff planned for the event, too, including a trade show (complete with a BDSM dungeon), seminars, dance parties, a strip poker tournament featuring BBW models, “exhibitionism for the shy”, and workshops on Facesitting and Chest Sitting, Photographing the Big Beautiful Body, Positioning Your Big Girl, as well as multiple model Q&A sessions and general sexually-charged frivolity.

If you’re a BBW admirer who really wants to indulge in a little or a lot of half-drunken carousing across the floors of the Tuscany Suites and Hotel, who’s aching to have Kelly Shibari, Desiree Devine, or Sydney Screams’ kiss your cheek and sign a photo for you, this is a chance unlike any other to fulfill your largest, weightiest fantasies.

More information on BBW FanFest 2012, which runs July 13th to 15th, can be found at the events official website. You’ll find a full roster of appearing models, scheduled events, ticketing details (including some delectable premium packages), and everything else you might need to know before the big day arrives. (Well, everything except what delicious treats to bring your favorite hot ‘n’ hefty pornstar, that is.)