Adult Movies | Mr. Pink's Blog

Porn Parody Roundup!

The porn parody craze that has been sweeping the industry for a couple of years shows no sign of abating anytime soon and there are plenty of parodies of pop culture icons hitting the shelves (both IRL and online) now and in the near future. Hardcore takes on everything from The Hangover to semi-obscure Batman-related all-female superhero trios to alien-zapping government agents are set to take over your small (or egregiously large) computer or TV screen, so I, Mr. Pink, decided to keep you filled in on all the whos and wherefores and WTFs of the latest slate of porn parody hits.

Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush sees a bespectacled young wizard anxiously sift through the female students of Whore’s Wart’s School for Witches and Wizards in search of his holy grail: a girl with a bushy pussy. Frustrated, Harry grabs his wand and lets loose some dark magic to bring these bald twats to hirsute life. From DreamZone Entertainment, Hairy Twatter stars Jessie Andrews, Nora Sky, Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Michael Vegas and more; written and directed by Jordan Septo, Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush has just been released and is already casting its spell on many viewers.

The Official Hangover Parody might not be the most inventive name for, well, an official parody of the Vegas-destroying hit comedy, The Hangover, but with a lineup including Brooklyn Lee, Dana Dearmond, Misty Stone, Lexi Belle, Tori Black and Skin Diamond, and with James Deen, Marco Banderas, and Dane Cross as the drunkenly debaucherous trio of bachelor partying buddies, this effort from Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs is sure to be a hoot. (And it also features Ron Jeremy in a reportedly hilarious cameo appearance.) By the time you read this, The Official Hangover Parody should be hitting shelves and online retailers, so get crackin’, bros!

While it might not be as obvious a choice for parody as Batman himself, Birds of Prey XXX sees Brooklyn Lee, Gracie Glam, and Kagney Linn Karter hit the streets of Gotham to solve the crimes the Caped Crusader simply doesn’t have time to attend to. As Oracle, Huntress, and Black Canary respectively, this trio of immensely popular pornstars don some rather racy costumes and burst onto the parody porn scene thanks to Sinister Comixxx as they confront Gotham’s latest she-menaces, Alexis Texas, Chanel Preston, and Lizzy Borden. Out now, Birds of Prey XXX is available in a deluxe 3-DVD metal collector’s tin and online through Extreme Entertainment Network’s Roku hookup.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are the last guys you’d want to see in a hardcore porn movie – your girlfriend and your mother, however, might take different stances – but their alien-fighting characters from the roaringly successful franchise from Columbia Pictures Entertainment are given the hardcore parody treatment thanks to Wicked Pictures and director Brad Armstrong. Starring Ethan Hunt and Randy Spears are the guys wielding the biggest ray-guns here and they’re aiming them at Misty Stone, India Summer, Isis Taylor, Nicole Aniston and a handful of other babes, Earthlings and otherwise. Oh yeah, and Xander Corvus plays a floating worm with a humanoid head. Go figure.

What, no parody of Red Tails or Frankenweenie?

The Comeback Queens

The news pages at AVN ran two highly notable stories earlier this month, both of them concerning the revival of the careers of two of porn’s most legendary female performers. As the news hit the pornosphere thousands of fans no doubt began furiously beating off, preparing and training themselves for the return of their favorite performers: Devon and Tera Patrick.

Tera Patrick, known not only for her adult career but for her best-selling memoir, Sinner Takes All, and her marriage to Biohazard rocker Evan Seinfeld, announced her first onscreen adult appearance in six years, taking a role in Axel Braun’s upcoming Hustler parody This Ain’t The Expendables XXX. Shot in 3D and co-starring Kimberly Kane, London Keyes, and Brooklyn Lee, the project unfortunately won’t give Tera’s fans what they undoubtedly hoped for. Instead of thrusting herself back under the spotlight and onto some lucky bastards boner, Tera has taken a non-sex role modeled on The Governator’s brief but nonetheless exciting cameo in Sylvester Stallone’s original 2010 action hit.

Devon, on the other hand, isn’t messing around. Signing to Brazzers and relaunching her career with a four-part Real Wife Stories series entitled Till Dick Do Us Part. Starring alongside the ravishing Raylene and facing the impossibly hard dicks of Jordan Ash and Jonny Sins, Devon plays a bride who, although newly married, just can’t shake off her whorish tendencies. The first episode of the series can now be seen exclusively at Real Wife Stories.

Sorry, Tera, but Devon pwned you this time.

Ron and Nina’s Twilight Romance

Ask any porn fan who the most acclaimed and respected living legends of the adult industry are, one of either sex, and you’ll no doubt have the names Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy tossed your way. Now, after a combined 62 years of onscreen experience, these two legends have been paired together in a new feature from Hustler, entitled Nina Loves Ron.

A satire of modern dating rituals, Nina Loves Ron sees the two infamous pornstars, entrepreneurs, crossover icons, and free speech advocates reunite under the direction of Axel Braun. With all new scenes featuring, according to AVN, “the trials of online dating, the first tentative steps of budding love, and (of course) sex,” the DVD, available from July 31st, also packs in a handful of the two superstars’ most sizzling scenes, scenes co-starring such other porno legends as Tom Byron, Renee Morgan, and Crystal Wilder.

Although no doubt an irreverent look at romance in the digital age, Nina Loves Ron also promises to deliver the righteous fucking with a (dare I say) romantic touch; so much so that Hustler is touting it as “the Ultimate Romance movie.” At their respective ages of 59 and 53, Ron and Nina are some of the oldest performers still throwing their bodies before a camera and delivering memorable sex. The combination of these two middle-aged is sure to be a turn-off for those viewers who refuse to even bother with MILF porn, let alone hardcore scenes starring almost-sixty-year-olds, but those of us who are perfectly comfortable with people older than ourselves having and indeed needing an active, exciting sex life will no doubt be thrilled at this illustrious pairing.

While exact details of the release are still under wraps, this teaser image from Hustler’s Facebook page suggests the two hardcore legends have delivered fun, lively performances. Are there any other similarly aged performers still in the business, let alone cool and comfortable enough to poke fun not only at themselves, but at the industry that spawned their celebrity and the very idea of dating (and fucking) through one’s fifties and into one’s sixties? No, there isn’t, which is why Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy are as close as pornstars come to being national treasures.

Officially Sanctioned Spider-Porn?

Some of you no doubt know him as either The Amazing Spider-Man or yet another R-Patz clone, but Andrew Garfield has never really sparked a dot on Mr. Pink’s radar… until now. After briefly discussing porn names with journalist Matt Patches of Hollywood.com, Garfield admitted to watching Axel Braun’s recent web-slinging sex-fest, Spiderman XXX: A Porn Parody for “inspiration.” Yeah, whatever, A-Garf, like you didn’t shoot some webs of your own while ogling Brooklyn Lee’s Mary-Jane, a character who didn’t even make it into his relaunch flick.

“You can find inspiration anywhere when it comes to this character because ’cause it’s everyone’s; it belongs to everyone, porn actors, you know…” Garfield explained while continually fondling his own chin in a remarkable display of self-pleasure before following Patches’s lead into more family-friendly areas of discussion. Hey, these two instant pals can ignore the issue all they want, but if the dude playing Spider-Man is openly admitting to gleaning acting inspiration from porn, that sets a monumental precedent. Robert Downey Jr. has a long history of decadence so maybe the next Avengers movie will feature Downey’s Iron Man utilizing some less violent technological wizardry, perhaps to bed Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. Who knows, maybe the next movie will see my favorite female Avenger, Ms. Marvel, added to the cast and perhaps played by Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer. Throw in the ferocious humanoid-feline Tigra (Michelle Rodriguez or Eva Mendes anyone?) and you’ve got a pretty damn intense level of sexual tension running around the big 3D-outfitted cinema come Avengers 2.

So, Joss Whedon, allow me to introduce you to a little flick called The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody.