Happy New Year from Mr. Pink’s, my fine fapping friends! We’re starting things off with a scorching week here at Rancho Pinko with a trio of excellent and varied sites from around the world. Representing the EU (or what’s left of it), Private Classics took us on a tour through Continental porno history. Pin Up Files courted a bevy of busty-as-fuck models from around the world and displayed them for our viewing pleasure. And the infamous motherfuckers of Mofos Network proved they’re still some of the most unrepentant pervs working in porn today – and doing it all for the US of A! Of course, we couldn’t let 2019 hit without detailing the best and boldest NYE-themed porno parties taking place this year – check that out on the blog and be sure to return next week for another triple-dose of porno wisdom from your trusted porno advisor, Mr. Pink!
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… and a Fappy New Year!
To anyone of legal drinking age (and likely younger), New Year’s Eve is the most serious partying opportunity of the calendar year. Whether spent getting blasted in the company of close friends or roaming around with a wingman on the prowl for a foxy female reveler or two, most guys between, say, 19 and 45 throw themselves into NYE with a fervor rarely seen outside championship sporting events. And the women, well, there’s enough ultra-confident female showboating on December 31st that the midnight moment is sure to provide them with plenty of options, should a kiss be required. Few parties come close to those produced for our adult entertainment, though, and the impending arrival of 2019 saw the porn world throw a few absolutely killer parties in our honor. Not content with duos, these trios and groups make for the perfect post-NYE party recap fap.
Always up for a wild night out, Reality Kings, the home of party-porn classic In the VIP, gave us VIP passes to two thoroughly exciting soirees this NYE. Landing first at Moms Bang Teens, Nubile New Year saw sexually frustrated cougar Janna Hicks left alone by her sleeping husband, only to be disturbed by strange sounds from downstairs. Turns out her stepdaughter, Kali Roses, has chosen to ring in the new year by blowing her BF in front of their friends! Turned on by such unrepentant sluttiness, Ms. Hicks kicks out the partygoers so she can have the young couple all to herself.
Two of 2018’s breakthrough newbies, Gia Derza and Ivy Lebelle, also dropped by Reality Kings – RK Prime, to be exact – to give Alex Legend one hell of a party to round out his 2018. True to its title, New Year New Rear takes advantage of its two curvaceous stars by not only shooting plenty of edge-lit riding and doggy shots as they share their new year dick, but also by allowing Alex anal access to both. The firework backdrop should, if you’re a fan of these two sultry queens, mimic your arousal in this scorching anal encounter!
If your idea of a perfect NYE party includes a topless champagne drenching of three nubile foxes followed by an equally messy triple-facial, BFFS is your party HQ! New Year’s Cumdown sees Chloe Temple, Paris White, and Liv Wild gobsmacked by some rich assholes Hollywood Hills mansion. As he toasts their health, they let the mood overtake them, strip down, and lead their baller host to his bedroom for a NYE that’s bound to change a few friendships.
Whatever you ended up doing to celebrate 2019’s arrival (and regardless of how it measures up against these incredible porno fantasies), we at Mr. Pink’s hope it was a blast and that the upcoming year is filled with minimal pain, ample pleasure and plenty of the world’s best porn!
Brazzers’ Xmas Bounty
Come Christmas time, Brazzers always ensures its members receive a special gift, something highly erotic, undeniably hardcore, and charmingly Christmas-themed. This year, however, the infamous “ZZ” aims to deflate your holiday exictement and replace it with good ol’ fashioned fucking, whether or not it ticks your seasonal celebration checklist or not. Folks, welcome to Brazzers’ ‘Fuck Christmas’!
Kimmy Granger, one of porn’s most energetic dick devourers, throws herself into Brazzers’ Xmas celebrations, taking the role of nerdy office girl trying to tie up work before her vacation. When janitor Xander Corvus tries to haggle his way to completing his vacuuming, Ms. Granger reaches for her most valuable bargaining chip: her cunt!
Kissa Sins is up next, paired not with her husband Jonny but Charles Dera, he of magnificent mustache, a lonely divorced dad seeking some professional company during the loneliest time of the year. In a prostitution fantasy I’m sure we’ve all had, Kissa brings her John some incredible Christmas pleasure.
This holiday season might not be the brightest for Honey Gold – see her recent health issues – but she’s blazing across the Brazzersphere in a steamy threesome scene with Anna Bell Peaks and Jessy Jones. Honey and Jessy await departure at a US airport until they’re spotted getting frisky by Homeland Security’s Ms. Peaks. After questioning Jessy and securing him in another room, Peaks applies her specialized interrogation techniques on his super-foxy gal pal. Needless to say, crimes are confessed, cum is shared, and flights are seemingly endlessly delayed.
In a mother’s worst nightmare cum filthy fantasy, Kendra Lust has slaved away over a hot stove to prepare a memorable holiday meal for her family. Stood up her ungrateful brood, she retires to the living room, whips out a vibrator and loses herself in solo pleasure. Lost between her legs, Ms. Lust burns the turkey and is now stuck alone, hungry, and horny. When pizza delivery savior and professional dick swinger Jonny Sins arrives with an inadequately prepared pie, Kendra decides his own meat will have to satisfy her hunger.
Happy Holidays from Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews!!!
Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – December 23th, 2018
Holy hell, fuck fans! The big X is right around the corner and we at Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews are ramping up our holiday excitement with a special blog focus on one of this year’s greatest porno gifts: Autumn Falls. Appearing at Mofos, Passion HD, and Jules Jordan in an amazing trio of holiday hump-fests, Ms. Falls is a real delight. Review-wise, this week we examined three of porn’s major players: Twistys, Brazzers, and Jules Jordan, all of which proved once again why they’re at the top of the online porno ladder. There’ll be more holiday horniness on Mr. Pink’s blog as we make our final descent into turkey-coma-land, so be sure to stop back here and find out who’ll be sapping your special fluids this holiday season. And, from all of us at Mr. Pink’s, a very happy holidays to you all!