Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 167

Vivid’s Survey Says… Pt. 1

For the past few months, porn’s most well-known studio, Vivid Entertainment has been joining forces with XCritic to conduct a comprehensive survey of porn viewers, their habits, their preferences, and their opinions about the numerous factors that define how porn is produced, for whom, and for what specific purpose. Does anyone still watch DVDs? Are MMF threesomes more popular than FFM threesomes? Would home viewers perform in an adult feature if it didn’t require sex? What if it did?

XCritic has been slowly releasing the results of the polls and some of the answers have been quite surprising.

– More than 1/3rd of respondents still watch retail DVDs over online, digitally distributed content.
– Despite the continued rise of gonzo, a feature production is still the most watched porn format.
– Although double-penetration scenes have become more commonplace over the past few years, most guys still prefer two girls and one guy in threesome scenes.
– More than half of respondents claim to be always aroused when viewing porn, meaning blood is flowing away from other areas of the body to keep an erection, possibly to the detriment of logical and critical faculties; hence: your regrettable Coke bottle “accident”.
– Most respondents believe the amalgamation of Internet and television will result in more porn viewing.
– Lindsay Lohan is the celeb most desired to be seen fucking in a sex tape, low-res cell-phone footage or not.
– The most popular porn categories were anal and girl-girl, apparently by a huge margin.
– Almost half the men responding would take a non-sexual role in an adult production, while nearly 40% would say yes to a sexual role!
– And, perhaps most surprisingly of all, more than 73% of respondents do not hide their porn viewing, with more than a third enjoying porn with a significant other.

Vivid and XCritic are continuing their polling, so keep your eyes peeled on Mr. Pink’s for more results as they roll in.

The Couple That Shoots Porn Together…

After the September release of their Anal Hazing Crew feature confirmed their strong association with Evil Angel and Gamma Entertainment, performers, directors, and spouses Mark Wood and Francesca Le now celebrate another milestone in their rapidly ascending careers: their very own website.

LeWood is now online and takes a multi-handed approach to hardcore, featuring work directed by and often starring either Francesca Le, Mark Wood, or both. Focusing on hard lesbian scenes, anal sex, MILF-fucking, and plenty more, LeWood’s vignette-style DVD releases and their digitally distributed equivalents are a perfect fit for Evil Angel’s growing ranks of master directors. “After many years, we finally have another way to reach our fans,” Wood said, his wife adding that the site would be an intimate, if not exactly comforting, look inside their sex lives professional and otherwise. “Everybody will get to see all the naughty stuff that goes on behind closed doors at Casa de LeWood. We look forward to bringing you even filthier content from the freakiest real-life couple in porn.”

She’s not wrong there, folks! Few porn couples have lasted as long as LeWood or have had as substantial success as a unit, with only Audrey Hollander and Otto Bauer as genuine competition. Tera Patrick and Evan “Spyder Jonez” Seinfeld managed to keep their professional relationship going long after their personal one ended in divorce, Kobe Tai and Mark Davis’s marriage didn’t survive the often tumultuous porn life, and after divorcing, Nacho Vidal and Belladonna kept their professional work separate, too. LeWood, however, seems to be going from strength to strength, even using a Brangelina, Kimye-style portmanteu as their professional name, the ultimate sign of celebrity relationship stability!

LeWood is now online and updating daily. Look for a full porn review coming soon from Mr. Pink’s!

Spice Up Your Solo Sex Life

British four-piece pop group, The Spice Girls might’ve seemed naff at their heyday in 1997, but no matter how well cultivated your musical tastes might have been, you still knew them by their nicknames and precocious “Girl Power” ideology. And now, thanks to Jordan Septo, the master of the musically-inclined porn parodies, you’ll get to see Sporty, Scary, Ginger, Posh, and Baby Spice in refashions the biggest-selling girl group of all time as wannabe (geddit?) pornstars.

Following on from the success of Saturday Night Fever XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody and OMG… It’s the Flashdance XXX Parody, Septo has shifted focus to more recent nostalgia acts with the rather predictably titled OMG… It’s the Spice Girls Parody. With ol’ reliable Evan Stone taking the paternal role of the Spice Girls’ manager, Simon Fuller, the rest of the cast have been plucked from all stratas of the adult industry and given the chance to fill the tallest platforms in porn history. As Scary Spice (Melanie Brown), ring-locked Misty Stone gleefully strides with a buoyant smile and leopard-print catsuit. One of porn’s signature redheads, Dani Jensen seems a fairly appropriate fit for Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell), but doesn’t quite fill out her signature Union Jack dress well enough, if you ask me. Baby Spice (Emma Bunton) is played by an effervescent and effusively girly Jessie Rogers, who dons a candy colored dress and pigtails. As the future wife of footballer David Beckham, Allie Haze does her best Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) impersonation in, what else but a little black Gucci dress. The incredibly fit (in more ways than one) Dani Daniels, hot on the heels of her breakthrough feature role for Elegant Angel, tackles arguably the most difficult Spice Girl, Sporty (Melanie Chisolm), who, thanks to her trim, boyish figure was unfortunately labelled “the lesbo one”.

I don’t know about you fellas, but I’ve been ogling the Spice Girls for years ever since Say You’ll Be There, so I’ve no complaints about this particular parody. What, though, of the precedent Septo’s latest effort sets? Where do we go from here, porn parodies of other musical acts? An Abba parody would be loads of fun, as would a parody focusing on the legendary sexual exploits of some famous rock studs – Hendrix and Cynthia Plaster-Caster, Led Zep and a tuna, both the Glimmer and the Toxic Twins perhaps – but history dictates the end result will be something nobody wants to see: Nickelback porn.

(At least there’s already a fitting soundtrack.)

Universal Pictures Sues Fifty Shades Parodists

Universal Pictures might be developing the official film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, the hit erotic fiction trilogy that has had sexually unsatisfied American women all in a tizzy these past months, but it’s not the only entertainment entity attempting to capture the seductive and salacious BDSM-infused story of a virginal college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and dominant business magnate, Christian Grey. Smash Pictures, an adult entertainment studio based out of Chatsworth, California has already completed production on its adaptation, an unofficial one that is now drawing the ire of Universal and the attention of its lawyers. Objecting to Smash’s making a film that flagrantly contradicts the right of Universal, which reportedly paid $4 million for E. L. James’ best sellers in early 2012, to produce its version, which the studio is reportedly negotiating with Angelina Jolie directing and Ryan Gosling taking the role of young multi-millionaire and devoted ass-man, Grey. Smash Pictures, however, contends that only it can do the novels justice.

Universal’s complaint states “By lifting exact dialogue, characters, events, story, and style from the Fifty Shades trilogy, Smash Pictures ensured that the first XXX adaptation was, in fact, as close as possible to the original works.” Smash VP Stuart Wall, named in the complaint alongside Smash owner Daniel Quinn and writer/director Jim Powers, told LA Weekly’s Barbie Davenporte about the company’s recent turn to more romantic fare after years of more explicit stuff, and called their Fifty Shades adaptation “very true to the book and its S&M-themed romance.” Davenporte added “And while parodies are the only way adult film studios can make money these days, making a ‘Fifty Shades’ version is truly the only way to put the three erotic novels in film in their BDSM glory without the MPAA censorship and film industry finger-wagging.” But if Smash and Powers are actually aiming for as close an adaptation as possible, does their claim to fair use of parody, the same legal protection that allows so many other porn parodies to exist, not apply? Without the clear distinction between the two versions of Fifty Shades, Smash’s and Universal’s, and the former already on shelves as the official one slugs through development and preproduction, both parties stand to make or loss a killing.