October, 2011 | Mr. Pink's Blog

K-Pop-Porn

If the recent-ish launch of international pop music channels MTV Iggy and MNet America are to be believed, the USA is about to be inundated by a world of music most Americans have never even considered. From reggaeton to baile funk, from C-Pop to J-Pop to K-pop, there are dozens of artists with the talent, determination, and financial backing to blow the minds of America’s Internet generation. One group already starting their US invasion is the nine-member South Korean girl group Girl’s Generation. Having just released their first worldwide single, The Boys, the video to which garnered over 4 million YouTube views on its day of release, with an American album release coming in November through Interscope Records, and with a showcase performance at Madison Square Garden this Sunday in New York City, Girls’ Generation are poised to bring about a global group revival in popular music. Their tunes are great and Taeyon, Hyoyeon, Yuri, Yoona, Tiffany, Sooyoung, Seohyun, Jessica, and Sunny has distinct personalities and styles but blend together as a perfect ensemble, but what’s the real reason behind their smash worldwide success? For the answer, as always, we turn to porn.

Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Katy Perry have all been lampooned in US porn productions, but they’re just solo performers. Imagine how appealing a pornographic movie based on a nine-member all-girl singing and dancing group would be! Well, folks, it exists. Beautiful Legs Legend, a JAV (Japan Adult Video) release that copies Girls’ Generation’s outfits, dance moves, and music, but with an illicit twist, has proven that, along with the real ninesome’s truckload of miniskirt and short-short-accented stage outfits, long legs can sell anything. Unfortunately, the JAV in question consists largely of five, not nine uncoordinated young women lazily dancing around sans panties. Yeah, there’s a foot fetish bukkake scene thrown in at the end, but that’s pretty dull, too. I suppose that’s what you get when Japan, whose pop music (J-Pop) has became stale and uninspired over recent years after decades of Asian dominance, tries to take on the rapidly expanding and wildly successful eighteen-legged Korean juggernaut that is Girls’ Generation. Fighting!

Hollywood’s Backend: Analysis From an Unconventional Assman

Ever since Jennifer Lopez’s singing career first exploded into the North American mainstream media, nobody really seems to care that much about tits anymore. Sure, you and I and every Joe Schmoe from Anchorage to Albuquerque still loves a nice pair of chest-mounted fleshy orbs, but it seems the most focus is these days falling lower on the female physical form – to the ass. Some expected the mass amounts of attention devoted to the rear end of Kim Kardashian would be the peak of Hollywood’s ass fever, but then came such notable white girl booties as those of Jessica Biel, Fergie, Jessica Alba, Kate Beckinsale, and Jennifer Aniston. Clearly asses are where it’s at.

But here at Mr. Pink’s we like to give the underdogs a shot. There are, after all, plenty of talented women in the entertainment industry that are blithely discarded from the ‘sexy’ pile and lumped into the ‘smart’ one, never to grace the pages of Maxim unless they’re there ironically. Actor, writer, and champion of home entertaining culture, Amy Sedaris, for one, is rarely regarded as anything but the funny lady from Strangers With Candy. Given the chance, though, Ms. Sedaris can shake her ass like nobody’s business, as this clip from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon proves.

Another under-appreciated derriere in Tinsel Town belongs to 90s teen movie also-ran, Mena Sevari. Although she’s been out of the spotlight for a number of years, Suvari hasn’t let her rear guard down, keeping male fans interested enough to post, repost, and rerepost paparazzi-shot bikini photos from her seemingly endless stream of beachfront vacations.

What of it, readers? Got any under-appreciated celebrity rumps needing more exposure? Leave a comment and let Mr. Pink see what he can drum up. Badoom-boom!

Dr. Suzy’s Filly Harem

Internationally renowned sexologist, author, advocate, and all ‘round swell woman, Dr. Susan Block is tonight hosting another of her weekly live broadcasts from her Womb Room studio in downtown Los Angeles and, like most of her shows, this one looks like a hot ‘n’ horny hootenanny if ever there was one. Joining Dr. Suzy for the live radio and webcam video show tonight is Rebekah Nazarian, general manager of the lesbian adult entertainment company Filly Films, and two of her most prominent performers, Sinn Sage and Dana Vespoli. Talking to AVN, Nazarian calls Dr. Block someone she can look up to, saying she sees her as “one of those ‘Kinsey Revolutionary’ type of people.” Clearly a little intimidated and nervous, Nazarian also speaks of Dr. Suzy’s request for her to bring a strap-on dildo to the broadcast, not to giveaway, but hopefully to incorporate it into the show, which will also feature pornstars Sasha Sweet and Sheena Ryder, both of whom would most likely be quite at home strapping on a fake dick and going to town.

As no stranger to controversy herself, Dr. Suzy often invites on her show guests that would otherwise miss such an important chance to discuss their (usually) unusual field of expertise. Tonight’s show will welcome transsexual porno superstar and equestrian, Morgan Bailey, and an anonymous “Saudi dignitary” whose identity will not be revealed to ensure his safety from prosecution. And, in a week that has already seen Iranian actress Marzieh Vafamehr sentenced to a year in jail and 90 lashes for appearing in Iranian-Australian film “My Tehran For Sale” without a traditional hijab head covering, such a threat seems very, very real. Intense stuff!

Like all of Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy shows, those in the Los Angeles area can attend. For ticket information, follow this link and, like Dr Suzy always says “make love, not war” and do it the Bonobo Way.

Annie Cruz’s Indie Adventure

Annie Cruz might be best known as one of porn’s baddest bitches – being one of Kink.com’s most impressive resident dommes will do that to your reputation – but the Filipino fuck-fiend has also got a soft spot for some good ol’ indie rock! Ex-Pavement frontman, Stephen Malkmus, with his band The Jicks and Tenacious D’s Jack Black (in acting mode) are among Cruz’s latest co-stars, but no, this isn’t an indie-rock porno. Cast in Malkmus’s latest video, “Senator”, from his Minor Traffic album, Cruz plays a suitably sexy partygoer that encounters Jack Black’s schmoozing, boozing Senatorial candidate at a party and presumably proves the songs chorus “What the Senator wants is a blowjob,” to be undeniably accurate.

“Senator”, a politically-charged tune that features such pseudo-nonsensical lines as “heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy smelter – fuck it!”, isn’t Cruz’s first flirtation with the non-mainstream edge of an industry. Since 2009 she has only been shooting scenes and photosets for her self-maintained website instead of whoring herself out to the majors – something Malkmus’s former band, Pavement, also refused to do. Even in the regularly disparaged porn business, Cruz is known her doing things her own way and being unafraid of confrontation. Her blog, Memoirs of the Damned, reads like a punk/goth slut’s defensive diatribe against the small-minded, sexually insecure, dolts who can’t handle a sexually aggressive woman making a living doing what she loves. And, like the best work of all artists, that’s some inspiring shit.