Aussie Sex Party Not Playing Games With Censors

Australian Sex PartyThe continuing saga of the Australian Sex Party, Down Under’s most absurdly controversial political outfit, and its leader, Fiona Patten took a strange turn with the recent implementation of an R18+ classification for video games putting pressure on the federal government to reassess the current classification of much softcore and hardcore pornography, which remains illegal in many parts of the country.

Federal Minister for Home Affairs and Minister for Justice Jason Clare said of the recent passing in the Senate of legislation that would introduce an R18+ legal classification of video and computer games depicting such extreme acts as murder and physical assault that makes such games available to adults but not minors, “The R18+ category will inform consumers, parents, and retailers about which games are not suitable for minors to play… The reforms also mean that adults are able to choose what games they play within the bounds of the law.”

Patten and the Australian Sex Party are up in arms because this focus on permitting depictions of violent activities suggests those activities are more acceptable than the still-banned graphic depictions of human sexual interaction. “The ALRC (Australian Law Reform Commission) has recommended that the Commonwealth assume enforcement powers for classification issues… so that the Asutralian moral standards are seen as equal in different jurisdictions. THis needs to be expedited or come next January [when the law is to take effect] we will see computer games legally available in Queensland that are four and five times more explicit than restricted (Category 1) softcore magazines, which are banned in that state.” An absurd situation and understandable complaint, right?

“If ‘simulated’ depictions of high level sexual activity will soon be legal in commuter games, the government should consider amalgamating the two upper adult categories of R18+ and X18+,” Patten said, calling such simulations “extremely real” and claiming the difference between the R and X ratings will be “merely academic and of little consequence” to most users of so classified content.

Whether or not Patten and her comrades will have any real impact on the impending rejigging of Australia’s classifications remains to be seen. Until then, violence-addicted Aussies can rest easy knowing that, although they might not be able to kick back and watch a classic hardcore movie without worrying about Johnny Law beating down the door, they can at least commit dozens of acts of assault, battery, and homicide, all depicted in extremely graphic fashion, with no legal consequence. In short: fucking’s out but killing is bonze, mate!

Cherie Lily is Dripping Wet

Cherie LilyAndrew W.K. might be best known as the blood-letting rockstar whose “Party Hard!” philosophy has brought him into the ears and eyes of people young and old through his records, raucous live shows, motivational speaking seminars, and a gig hosting Cartoon Network’s mayhemic construction-based game show, Destroy Build Destroy, but he’s also largely responsible for bringing the remarkable talents of his wife and frequent collaborator Cherie Lily into the spotlight.

Known largely as the inventor of Houserobics (a fusion of fitness routines and her self-produced dance music), Lily recently released a video and single that’s sure to be of interest to Mr. Pink’s readers. The song is, after all, entitled “Dripping Wet” and the video features scintillating shots of Lily and her sweaty costars “werking” through their frustrations as Lily calls out for her listeners to make her sweat and keep her “dripping wet.” With plenty of liquids flying around the screen and suitably drenching every finely-crafted physique in sight, Dripping Wet is loaded with double entendres so blatant nobody will believe you’re watching the video for fitness inspiration. And with such incredibly well-toned female forms on display, you might want to close the door before hitting play on this, one of the most exciting music videos to come out New York in years!

Dampness Needed

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

My wife and I are both in our early 50’s, we’ve been married since shortly out of college. We’ve always been very physically attracted to one another, but it seems the last few years our sexual encounters have dropped to us going months at a time without physical contact. When we do share romantic moments, I’ve noticed we now have to use an artificial lubricant, that’s something we’ve never done before. I’m beginning to think I don’t excite her anymore, and I don’t want her having an affair.

Dampness Needed

Dear Dampness;

I can understand why your mind would begin roaming to the fear of not being attractive and thinking your wife may begin looking elsewhere, it’s human nature, but, I really don’t think it’s a concern that’s backed up by what the Mrs. is missing.

It sounds as if you and your wife have been together for a long time, you know her well, as she does you, but, there is also that nasty interference of, you’re a man, she’s a woman. As a woman, hormonal changes can create all types of, “This has never happened before” scenarios. Maybe she doesn’t feel pretty within herself, so she may not feel as though she’s attractive to you, hence, the cause for large spans of time between the bedroom boner sessions, as for her moisture not being as abundant as it once was, that too is definitely a change of life that leaves a woman feeling high and dry.

Make the lubricant your friend, don’t fear it, smear it! As you get older, do what it takes to keep those erotic moments flowing. If you’d rather go for the more natural approach, spend a little extra time between her thighs with oral sex pleasures, there’s nothing like good old fashioned spit to dampen the clit, and all of those areas between! Let her know she’s still beautiful, appealing and attractive to you, make her feel womanly and she’ll allow her feminine charms to ring loudly again. Be bold, kiss her neck, hold her hand, rub her breast when she’s doing the dishes, lift her skirt and slide your hand up her thighs, be playful and be an exhibitionist, letting her view your erection tells her she does indeed still turn you on!

Don’t let Father Time step all over your sex life, just lend Mother Nature a hand where needed and you may find yourself hitting those cool sheets multiple times a week!