Calling Preston Parker

Preston ParkerA couple of months ago there was some shifting in the Bang Bros lineup, both behind the scenes and in front of the camera lens. Preston Parker, the voice and penis who pasted the faces of so many greenhorn pornstars at Facial Fest, the man in the van with the camera in hand for the infamous Bang Bus, has apparently departed Bro-town for the greener pastures of Reality Kings.

The first evidence to point to Preston’s departure, at least the first evidence I saw, was during Asa Akira’s inaugural Bang Bus expedition back in mid-April when the guy wielding the camera first spoke. “Those aren’t the usual dulcet tones we hear from Preston,” I thought. I was soon proven right when one of Asa’s soon-to-be-conquests boarded the bus and remarked that although both Asa Akira and the bus itself were familiar to him, the director was not. Coming very close to looking a gift horse right in the kisser, this cunning linguist said that he was expecting “the other guy,” prompting Asa and the new director to share a chuckle and inform the snatch-happy beach bum that there’s a new guy in town. His name? Well, actually, that particular nugget of information is somewhat still eluding me. I did, however, find Preston Parker alive and well on another critically acclaimed reality-based hardcore network.

Reality Kings might not have an exact replica of either Facial Fest or Bang Bus for Preston to waltz right into, the transition from BB to RK can’t have been too difficult. Preston has already appeared in a dozen episodes for Reality Kings, mostly for Street Blowjobs, which finds him back behind the camera shooting porno newbies sucking him off and taking his hefty load across their faces, but also for Moms Bang Teens, Big Naturals, First Time Auditions, Round and Brown, MILF Hunter, and In the VIP, the latter of which sees him get all liquored up with a gang of wildly unreserved sexual dynamos for an orgy he won’t soon forget.

So, while the reasons behind Preston’s relocating from Bang Bros to Reality Kings remain a mystery, fans of the wisecracking’ seed-spewing former gay-for-pay performer are still able to get their fill of Preston’s powerful facials in many Reality Kings updates to come.

Preston Parker Reality Kings

Taylor & Burton, Kidman & Cruise, Lohan & Deen?

The Twitterverse was buzzing this past February because novelist and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis had been tweeting about meetings he was having with James Deen. The adult performer. The male adult performer. The male adult performer everyone seems to adore. As reported by yours truly in a previous missive, Deen was courted by Ellis to star in a film to be directed by Paul Schrader (American Gigolo and the greatest American film you’ve likely not seen, Blue Collar), the script to which he was then in the midst of writing. Deen was to “act and be full-frontal naked banging girls and guys.” In short, the perfect role for him.

Now, four months later, another tweet from Ellis suggests that professional tabloid punching-bag Lindsay Lohan will be starring opposite Dean in the film now titled The Canyons. It stands to reason she might therefore be engaging in some rather risque activities with our big dicked guy next door.

When previously been attached to take the title role in Lovelace, Lohan’s legal troubles led the producers to instead hire everyone’s favorite busty, lily-white nymph, Amanda Seyfried. As director Schrader was quick to point out (typos and all) on the film’s official Facebook Page. nothing is yet a done deal. “Despite what may be reported elsewhere, casting on The Canyons is not quite finalized… Many wonderful young actors submitted auditions and I like to bring some of them to wider attention. Or at least the wider attention that this website provides. Paul S.” (Did he just piss on Facebook? Awesome.)

So, disregarding Schrader’s reminder, we can assume Deen is in, Lohan is in, and we’re gonna watch this most likely incredible movie on its day of release for sure, right? Right. Until then, those questioning whether Schrader can handle something as rampantly sexual as a movie written by the undisputed master of stories about promiscuous, disaffected, drug-gulping twenty-something Americans, starring the world’s most charming male pornstar, and a real-life Hollywood trainwreck, watch this clip of Karvey Keitel and Richard Pryor’s dildo fight in Blue Collar and let your doubts subside. We’re in safe hands here.

Perfect Fucking Strangers

Kourtney KaneHaving already found myself very impressed with the cinematic images contained in the artistically accomplished works of Naughty America’s newest projects, Tonight’s Girlfriend, MILF Sugar Babes, and College Sugar Babes, yours truly was delighted to see that another high-end hardcore site has been added to the trio forming a quarter not to be trifled with. Although they haven’t yet been connected under a single membership plan – all four sites are produced by Naughty America but do not feature on the network of the same name – this tantalizing foursome make for four uniquely compelling fantasy-based porn sites, dealing as they do in the common ‘mature woman in heated affair,’ ‘college-aged nympho making some extra money,’ and ‘high-priced hooker worth every cent’ scenarios that run through the collective male heterosexual erotic consciousness. The newest of the four sites, Perfect Fucking Strangers, ramps up the intensity with another fantasy we’ve all dallied in from time to time: random sex with an anonymous stranger.

Told from either the male or the female perspective depending on the scene, a typical Perfect Fucking Strangers plot follows a pretty basic line: flirtatious looks are exchanged, a gesture or verbal prompt entices further contact, and very soon two people are writhing around in each others embrace, introducing each other to their most treasured, more desired body parts. We, the viewing audience, are given astonishingly powerful, highly detailed views courtesy of the 720p and 1080p video streams. Like its sister sites, Tonight’s Girlfriend and the Sugar Babes pair, Perfect Fucking Strangers is clearly an effort on the part of Naughty America to revitalize one particular adult scenario that has clearly outstayed its welcome. With U.S. porn’s most wanted women (including Nicole Aniston, Julia Ann, Eva Angelina, Phoenix Marie, and Diana Prince) living out a fantasy they likely take for granted – consider that their job consists of fucking strangers on a regular basis – rendered in beautiful, brilliant HD, lit with soft and evocative lighting, and always at the center of attention, Perfect Fucking Strangers is such a compelling site with such palpably libidinous carnality that, like the men Kagney, Eva, Jayden and the others happen upon, is simply irresistible.

Suze in the Afternoon

It’s not often that the worlds of pornography and intelligent, arthouse cinematic fare cross paths, but one particular French film of the ’70s played a small but crucial role in the development of one of porn’s most enduring talents.

Suze Randall

The blonde woman in the above image from Eric Rohmer’s 1972 masterpiece Love in the Afternoon is none other than famed pornographer Suze Randall. Born in Worcestershire, England in 1946, Randall started her professional life as a nurse but soon turned to fashion modeling and taking erotic photos of her model friends in her spare time. In 1972 Randall landed a role in the newest film from Rohmer, a French critic, novelist, and filmmaker who had found international recognition three years earlier with his Academy Award nominated film, My Night at Maude’s. In the film, Randall plays the au pair of bourgeois couple in the midst of a crisis of fidelity – for the husband Frederic at least. Randall’s character, of course, makes things even more difficult for Frederic by waltzing around sans clothing as she prepares for a day caring for his family.

So, yes, for those with a question they’ve been dying to ask, Suze Randall does appear nude in Love in the Afternoon. And, no, I’m not going to show you. For that (and a profound meditation on fidelity, morality, and manipulation) you’re just going to have to buy, rent, or steal a copy of Love in the Afternoon and see it for yourself. (Well, either that or… Mr. Skin?)

As more and more adult entertainment companies strive to reach viewers in a more “cinematic” way, it’s good to remember that there are trailblazing cross-over successes like Suze Randall still churning out great work. Suze Randall’s work can, of course, be seen at her website, Suze.net.

Left High and Dry

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

Our daughter just moved out of the house for college, my wife is suffering from the empty nest syndrome, as well as no sex drive! I have wined and dined her, only to be told that she’s 40 years old now, those days of hot wild sex are a thing of the past. I’m not ready to put it behind me yet, maybe a woman’s point of view can help me over this horny hurdle?
Left High and Dry

Dear Dry;
Well, I have good news and not so good news for you, depending on how you look at it. The positive being, you’re not the only man that suffers from a lack of lust in the bedroom over this very issue, and the more negative angle stems from the fact it may take some work on your part to help her overcome….to cum.

Many times women basically leave their life behind as they bring a family into the world, they become a cook, housekeeper, doctor, financial wizard, and everything but a youthful, seductive woman. The causes soon take over and then suddenly when everyone is grown and gone, they don’t know what to do with themselves, they feel old and will act accordingly.

Your job, should you choose to accept it, bring back that wild tigress that slid across your sheets many years ago, with thighs open and eyes twinkling at the prospect of hot, hardcore sex with you. Sometimes marriage can put a damper on the excitement, suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. Take plenty of time with foreplay, not just the touching of her body, but the stroking of her mind as well. Tell her how much she turns you on, bring her flowers, share pillow talk, show her the advantages of having the house all to yourselves, make her realize you are turned on by being married to a MILF.

Make your moans loud, let actions speak louder than words. When the lights go off, turn the charm on. Hold back on your own masculine desires until she experiences multiple orgasms, she will indeed feel like not just A woman, but YOUR woman again, and she will be eager to feel you penetrating the area that will join your bodies and hearts.

Oh, and as a gentlemanly gesture, you be the one to get up and get a warm washcloth, bring it to her and then slide it up the inside of her thighs slowly…who knows, the terrycloth temptation may have her in the mood for round 2!