February, 2013 | Mr. Pink's Blog

PornHub Denied Super Bowl Ad Spot

Try as they might to gain mainstream acceptance, many adult industry entities find themselves blocked at every turn, including, not surprisingly, the most-watched television event of the year: Super Bowl XLVII.

Ok, so it might be hard to believe any porn company, website or otherwise, would manage to have a commercial aired on national television under any circumstances, let alone during the Super Bowl, but PornHub insisted on trying, only to find their submission rejected by CBS. If you’ve seen the relatively harmless ad, you might wonder “But why? It’s just a fully-clothed elderly couple sitting on a bench gazing lovingly at each other over a gentle piano score. What’s wrong with that?” The reason given by CBS is as follows: “CBS Television Network Standards do not permit advertising related to pornography. Therefore, we cannot accept your submission.” Sounds simple and clear enough, doesn’t it? Could it be, though, that PornHub knew they’d be rejected regardless of the actual content of their submission and cobbled together as inoffensive an ad as possible just to point out how prudish network television advertising really is? The cynic in me say “No shit, Sherlock,” while the other Mr. Pink, the valiant warrior fighting for justice and equality for porn, its purveyors, its performers, and its patrons… well, he also agrees.

If you care to, you can vote on whether or not you find the commercial, which has been removed from public availability by YouTube, worthy of Super Bowl airtime. Not surprisingly, most folks are voting in support of the spot. Where do you stand on this vitally important issue facing America today?

Drained From Desire – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink,

I am one of your older readers and inquirers, but I hope there are no age limitations. I am a 64 year old female, my husband is 68 years old. Our sex life was wonderful when we were younger, a bit sparse as the family was growing up, and then once they moved out with lives of their own, our sessions increased in frequency again. Unfortunately for the past few years, and I’m sure it’s age related, we were down to just a couple sexual sessions a year, which was making my husband feel like less of a man. We visited our physician and he was put on male enhancement medication, which works beautifully, to the tune of nightly love making. My problem is, I cannot keep up with him. He has a pill to give him the stamina that I don’t feel, and would very much enjoy cutting things back to just once or even twice a week, but, he refuses to lessen his dosage. I don’t want to say no to him, but I’m a tired old woman!

Drained From Desire

Dear Drained;

So many times in letters I receive, they seem to teeter on that line of the difference between genders, and this is one of those cases. Women enjoy being held, cuddled, hand holding, a soft kiss to the cheek, all of the expressions of intimacy that can at times leave us as fulfilled as a full blown love making session. But, for men, things are a bit different. A man many times will measure himself by the notches on the bed post they will mentally make each time they’ve raised their flag on mount vagina, and, when the flag isn’t flying as high as it once was, it not only devastates the ego, but robs a male of a self worth.

In your husband’s mind….and his boxer shorts, he feels like he’s 20 years old again, and, he’s not only impressing himself, but he feels as though he’s back to being the man you fell in love with years ago. His bones may ache, and he may make old man sounds getting in and out of his favorite recliner, and, quite possibly he has to put on reading glasses to see the TV Guide, but, when he feels the rise of what use to be flaccid, none of those other signs of age matters to him.

Since you sought out the advice of your physician for the original issue, it’s apparent you feel comfortable talking with them, so, my advice would be to turn that direction once more. Have him explain to your husband that the over use of anything can be bad, not to mention there are certain side effects associated with some of the male enhancement drugs, so, if it’s represented as a medical limitation, it may be an easier pill for him to swallow.

On the nights when things at Grandma and Grandpa’s house go wild, make the most of it, wear him out a bit, put on something sexy, maybe give a little smack to his butt and call him, “Stud.” Reassure him in a not so apparent manner that the once or twice a week is plenty for you, he satisfies your female urges enough to carry you through until the next time.

I’ve always said, men have two emotions, hungry and horny, if you see them without an erection, make them a sandwich! So, keep the cold cuts coming, and when he does take his dose of meat mood medicine, forget about a snack and put out a full spread for him!

Just Because They Suck You… Doesn’t Mean They Like You!

It’s not inconceivable that even before the rise of parody porn, wannabe Hollywood auteur Kevin Smith hoped and dreamed that his debut feature film, Clerks, would strike such a chord with contemporary society that it’d eventually be turned into something even more pornographic than his dialogue. Now, almost twenty years after Clerks’ 1994 release, a Clerks porn parody is available from Vivid Entertainment.

Providing the Clerks slackers with far more sexual opportunities than the original film, Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody sees Allie Haze and Lexi Swallow fill the presumably loosely-tied boots of Dante and Randall as Dana and Randi, who spend their workday embroiled in all sorts of lewd and lascivious (and presumably humorous) situations. Joining Haze and Swallow are Chastity Lynn as Jane and Kelly Devine as Silent Bertha, the gender-bending XXX versions of Jay and Silent Bob. Other performers include Jayden Lee, Seth Gamble, Brian Street Team, and Evan Stone as the most obnoxious series of customers imaginable – yes, every one.

Clerks XXX is now available for viewing at Vivid’s online HQ, but those who want the full “rise of the indies” experience should pick up the DVD release, which includes a non-hardcore black-and-white version. Although with presumably better dialog recordings than Smith’s original. Oh, and Smith has been unusually silent about this highly explicit tribute, perhaps too immersed in his adored and officially endorsed Fleshlight to pay it much mind.

Remembering J. Stephen Hicks

Reports began circulating yesterday of the passing of Digital Desire’s chief photographer, J. Stephen Hicks and were confirmed by Hicks’ business partner and fellow lensman, Jay Allan, who sent AVN a note in tribute to the man he called mentor and friend.

“[Hicks] was a true pioneer in the adult industry,” Allan wrote. “At a time when there were only about a doze photographers worldwide shooting for the adult magazine market, J. Stephen Hicks’ work stood out as exceptional. It still does today.”

Anyone familiar with Hicks’ work for Digital Desire, or his earlier print work for Penthouse, Hustler, Club, Gallery, and High Society magazines, surely recognizes the enormous talent he had. Not content with only seeing his later work online, in 2004 Hicks even published a hardcover Digital Desire book containing nearly 200 pages of his finest work. He followed this release with another hardcover collection, Superbeauty, in 2010. Both the printed and digital versions of Hicks’ photography offer prime examples of what Allan calls “the beautiful natural light and calculated composition that his images always contained.”

“Stephen taught his team to always put 100 percent of their creative energy into every image and video and to try to make everything as artistic and beautiful as possible,” Allan continued. “As a photographer he had no equal and took every step to artistically and creatively make every girl we shot look her absolute best. I am very lucky to have known and learned from the best and I am at least comforted by knowing that his legacy will live on and his amazing body of work will always be here for us to enjoy.”

Digital Desire, which most recently received a thoroughly impressive 91% approval rating from Mr. Pink’s back in July of ’12, will continue to showcase Hicks’ work and legacy, albeit with some new blood taking the photographic reigns, a group Allan calls “an amazing teanm of artists who will carry with his beautiful erotica the way he taught us since we were young.”

Allan’s final words on his departed friend and mentor could easily have come from any one of Hicks’ devoted fans and followers, “I will miss him dearly.”