Pornstars Eat 24/7

When you make a living thrashing around on a mattress or sofa until you’re nothing but a spent, sweating heap on the floor, it makes sense that you’d be constantly finding yourself famished at strange times of day. Pornstars are no exception to this rule and actually seem to be embracing their reputation as insatiably hungry women as they embrace a fairly new food delivery service called Eat24.

For its part, Eat24 has done what neither Foodler nor GrubHub managed to: use pornography and pornographers as a notable customer base and part of its marketing campaign. After all, when non-performers are browsing the ‘net in the wee hours of the morning and become inundated with pop-up and banner ads, it’s only the nudie ones that catch their attention. After Eat24 found pornstars tweeting compliments “@Eat24”, spreading the word to their fans, the company’s marketing gurus decided advertising on adult websites would be the most obvious way to spread their new brand far and wide to those who’d likely embrace it: porn fans!

Published on Eat24’s blog, How to Advertise on a Porn Website broke down the company’s reasons for heading into NSFW territory. Infographics abound in the post, giving us laypeople a clear idea of why putting burgers, sushi, and subs on sites like PornHub is a stellar marketing strategy. (And why bananas didn’t make the cut.) The data amassed by Eat24’s researchers brought some curious factoids to light, too. Check out the regional results of polls attempting to discern our nation’s “Horngriest” Cities and Most Sensual Foods, as well as more boring subjects only of interest to designers and marketers, subjects like which banner ads solicited the most click-throughs. (Hint: it was this one.)


Tenga Wanna Be Couple!

Tenga, the Japanese sexual aid producer most well known for its disposable fuck sleeves for men and the myriad styles catering to every possible boner-hugging preference, has now expanded into a market it had previously dismissed: couples.

Tenga's Vi-Bo

Vi-Bo might sound like a new age meditative hybrid martial art, but it’s actually a vibrating orb core around which different covers and sleeves can be fitted to create five sexual aids intended for use by couples. Described by Tenga as a “love support item” and designed to “provide an opportunity for couples to share a deeper communication” (read: fuck better), the Vi-Bo Finger Orb, Ring Orb, Hand Orb, Twin Orb, and Stick Orb closely resemble cartoonish vibrating cock rings, phalluses, double-ended dongs, and something that looks kinda like weight training device with two handles. Using a new polymer with high elasticity, the sleeves fit snugly and easily over the Vi-Bo orb (the central component of all device configurations in this line) and make expanding and adapting your range of stimulation as easy as slipping on a condom.

Tenga’s Vi-Bo officially launches October 10th.

Orgasmic Lies – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

I’m almost too ashamed to write this letter, but, with you being a stranger it’s easier for me. My husband feels disgust towards me and I can’t really blame him. For the past 10 years I’ve been faking my orgasms, and, I did a very good job for a long time, he thought he was bringing me sexual pleasure which enticed him into cumming as well. What I didn’t tell him was that intercourse just doesn’t do it for me. Yes, we do oral sex in foreplay and I can orgasm like that, but, he wants me to do it again when he’s inside of me and I always lie and put on a show in the bedroom to make him think I’m going wild underneath him. Last weekend, after we finished, I thought he’d gone to sleep, as usual and I slipped into the bathroom, where I have my vibrator hidden and was in the process of finishing myself off when he opened the door and caught me. Now he says he feels like less of a man and he’s disgusted with me, and, I’m disgusted with myself.

Orgasmic Lies

Dear Orgasmic Lies;

What you’re suffering from is shared by a huge percent of the female population, it’s nothing to be ashamed over, but, it is something you can work on, and be sure to include your husband while doing so, it will be an addition to your foreplay routine that will stimulate both of you.

It’s apparent you have access to the internet, since you emailed your question to me. Start doing some research, I think you’ll be surprised at how many references you’ll find to not being able to achieve an orgasm through intercourse. It’s not an easy thing, telling your mate that you’re faking the moans and groans of pleasure, but, if there’s love, there’s understanding.

There’s been enough falsehood in your relationship, now is the time for honesty. Explain to him that it’s nothing about his manhood, or his ability to make you feel like a woman, it’s just something within you that keeps those flood gates closed while he’s housed in your saturated stall. If you’ve made it a practice of using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation for the excitement of an orgasm, your body has grown accustom to that certain stimuli, and, it could be you just need to be introduced to another means of moisture. It might take a little time, but, it will be well worth it in the end, and during for that matter, because in the process you’ll both be learning much more about each other’s bodies and desires, and that’s always a good thing.

Don’t be shy about bringing your buzzing buddy into the bedroom, share what feels good with your husband, let him use it on you, the more open the two of you become, the more satisfaction you’re going to feel from many different facets of your marriage. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be as hurt as he is right now, which says the foundation is there, you just need to continue building upon it.

Who knows, before long, you may be ready to toss the batteries from your sex toy and open your thighs wide for the orgasmic pleasure of having your husband plugged into you!