Ryan Conner Returns Home

Lex vs Ryan Connor

Having left the adult industry in 2005 after six solid years of pornographic excellence, Ryan Conner returned to a warm welcome in June of 2015 after a ten year absence. And, having taken time to get married, raise a daughter, and generally attempt a “normal” life, she says she’s now “home.”

Profiled in the February 2016 issue of AVN Magazine, Conner spoke of trying to determine the environment that worked best for her. “Out in the real world you don’t mesh very well when you live life the way we do. You don’t fit in with vanilla people.” After her daughter, Dylan Phoenix started having some adult industry success, she’d shoot messages back to mom from her old colleagues. After a while, Conner says, she realized she missed “those people” and considered returning. And, man, are MILF-fanatics glad she did!

Although Conner told AVN today’s porn shoots were longer and more draining than those of yesteryear – it’s all the extra striptease, dancing, and interview intros, she says – she has also relished the chance to work with Manuel Ferrara, calling their scene in Raw #23 “a blast” and the most fun since her return. Another pair of scenes with Ferrara (in Oil Overload #13 and Manuel is a MILFomaniac #3, both for Jules Jordan) suggest she’s not just flattering the Frenchman. If sheer volume is anything to go by, though, it’s Lexington Steele that has Ryan Conner rejoicing her continued relevance, as Lex handed her a feature all her own: Lex vs Ryan Conner. Featuring her first interracial blowbang and double-penetration scenes, the Evil Angel title absolutely confirmed Ms. Conner still had what it takes to handle porn’s most demanding jobs. A Dogfart anal tag-team and a trio of Brazzers scenes sealed the deal.

Welcome back, Ryan Conner. Don’t go rushing off to vainly attempt “normalcy” again anytime soon, ok?

Joanna Angel’s AVN Nom Haul

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Joanna Angel’s 13th year as the driving force behind Burning Angel has seen the company nestled comfortably among the most interesting and inventive porn outfits working today, even after outside challenger Wood Rocket appeared with total lunacy as their M.O. Now, with nominations announced for the 2016 AVN Awards and her an allegedly abusive former flame now exposed to his previously adoring public (more on that soon), Ms. Angel’s 2015 seems to be ending quite beautifully indeed. And it’s not just one or two crucial nominations that should have all at Burning Angel popping bottles and laughing in the face of their most paltry competitors, alt.porn johnny-come-latelys, and would-be indie-porn revolutionaries, but an incredible 28 nominations for her and her Burning Angel cohorts. What did BA do this year that deserves such recognition? Well, quite a lot, actually.

Angel, who’s also due to co-host the 2016 AVN Awards with Anikka Albrite come January, saw herself snag individual nominations for Best Director – Parody (for Making the Band), Best Web Director, Mainstream Star of the Year (which, if won by our favorite punk rock pornstar, would signify quite the sea change in public perception of “alternative” style and identity in porn), Best Porn Star Website, and, In a featured but clothed role, Best Non-Sex Performance (Dirty Deeds for Wicked Pictures). Along with fellow scribes D Nothing, Kara Pond, and Randy Stoker, Angel was recognized for her inspired writing of Dude, Am I a Slut? and Killer Kleavage from Outer Space. Throw in a nod for her part in Making the Band’s incredible rock ‘n’ roll orgy (Best Group Sex Scene) and Joanna’s doing pretty god damn well for herself this season.

Not to be overshadowed by its creator and guiding light, Burning Angel racked up a slew of nominations: two for Best Amateur/Pro-Am Movie (It’s My First Time and It’s My First Time 2), Best Anal Series and Movie (for Rock and Roll in My Butthole 5 and the series it belongs to), Best Anthology Movie (Fuckabilly 3: Pin-Up Pussy), two for Best Comedy (Killer Kleavage again, and Slumber Party Sluts, Best Continuing Series for POV Punx, Best Interracial Movie (Big Black Dicks and Tattooed Chicks 2), and, among a handful of others, Best Marketing Campaign – Individual Project for the headline-grabbing Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded. Special mention should also go to Twin Peeks (aka Tommy Pietch), Burning Angel’s resident makeup genius, nominated twice this year for Best Makeup for his remarkable work on Killer Kleavage and Comic Book Freaks & Cosplay Geeks, both of which saw him turn everyday pornstars into the bizarre (and bizarrely arousing) creatures. And comic convention attendees.

Ever the gracious recipient of accolades, Angel had this to say in response to her and her company’s nominations: “I am incredibly happy that our nominations spanned over so many different categories. In addition to our parodies and our features, our Pro-Am releases, our POV movies and one of my favorite all- sex lines that we have, Rock and Roll in my Butthole was given attention,” Angel has said. “BurningAngel has been a labor of love for me for the past 13 years and I am so thankful for the success we have. I look forward to a kick ass show in January!”

Fan voting has opened at AVN HQ and if you’ve been as impressed as I with the output of Joanna Angel and her merry band of fucking freaks during 2015, why not show your support by casting your votes accordingly.

More Halloween Happenings

Not long now, fuck fans, and every North American adult website worth a damn will be coloring its homepage black-and-orange, placing glowing pumpkin heads at every entrance, and only admitting those women who’ve come dressed for the occasion, every inner-slut’s favorite over-commercialized holiday, Halloween!
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Along with the epic pornstar-attended party planned by AVN and due to open a inter-dimensional gateway to a fiery den of adult industry decadence – more info here – there’s also another big-time Halloween bash from a champion of sexual expression, New York’s Museum of Sex. Teaming with One Year Lease Theater Company for the October 31st event, the Museum will host costume contests, complimentary cocktails, light dining, raffles, live music from NY “indie, gypsy-ish, cabaret-ish, parlor rock” outfit Kotorino, and many more events, activities, tricks, and treats to put attendees in the partying mood. And, as always, there’s a premium VIP package for those that want to elevate themselves above the riff-raff, this time dubbed the ‘Indulge with Dionysus’ package and priced at $125 (alongside $65 and $40 standard VIP and general admission tickets, aka ‘Mingle with the Gods’ and ‘Soar with Aphrodite’). Dionysion acolytes willing to part with $125 for a Halloween party par excellence receive, among other pleasures, burlesque performances, a martini bar, appointed servers, ‘sinful party favors and decadent treats’, as well as the best seats in the house reserved for their asses and their asses alone.

Also getting into the spooky spirit this Halloween is everyone’s favorite proponents of martial infidelity, Kelly and Ryan Madison. Just released from Juicy Entertainment, Whore-ers of Halloween sees Natasha Vega, Casey Calvert, Staci Silverstone, Veruca James, Tysen Rich, and Luna C. Kitsuen all gussied up in sultry costumes and given the chance to milk Mr. Madison of his now infamous multiple loads. Cast as the meat in a Madison sandwich set in an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired Venetian-style occult orgy, Veruca James gets the couple to herself for a scene, as do Misses Kitsuen and Vega while the other starlets make do with Ryan alone, though that’s hardly a consolation prize.

Whore-ers of Halloween

And then there’s the horrific Donna T. Rumpshaker costume for women, unwisely produced by outlandish costumers Yandy, which can now be purchased for $69.95. Yes, seriously, and that’s not including the wig or baseball cap!

Donna T. Rumpshaker

Really, the less said about why anyone would possibly want to purchase such a costume for anything other than a woefully unfunny topical reference the better. Isn’t Yandy a “sexy costume” site? Surely even Trump’s staunchest supporters wouldn’t fuck a female doppelganger of the uncouth real estate mogul, would they?

Truly, truly scary ruminations here, folks, and there’s more to come from Mr. Pink’s as we inch closer and closer to All Hallows’ Eve.