Anyone who has sat and watched their favorite show’s entire run with back-to-back episodes in a single Netflix binge will know how devoted we can be to pop-culture in all its forms. Porn parodies, although fading from relevance thanks to more current trends – like the American adult industry and its fans collectively cumming in their trousers the current (and kinda creepy) pseudo-incest craze – are still something of a hot commodity in the adult entertainment world. So much so that Sex.com blogger Chico Dusty has come up with a list of his Top Ten Porn Parodies of 2014 to remind us all that there’s still life left in the old genre yet.
DreamZone Entertainment seems to be coming out on top this year, at least according to Dusty, who ranks The Little Spermaid (dir: Jordan Septo), Cape Fear XXX (dir: Bonnie Rotten), and Rambone XXX: A DreamZone Porn Parody (dir: Septo). Axel Braun hasn’t fallen from his spot as the leading porn parody director and 2014 saw him release Spider-Man XXX 2, Cinderella XXX, and This Ain’t Game of Thrones XXX for Vivid, Wicked, and Hustler respectively. (For Dusty’s complete top ten – what, no love for One Flew Over the Cuckold’s Next, really?)
Although unique entries like Miley May’s first cover feature, the Miley Cyrus-spoofing Molly’s Wrecking Ballz and and Not Jersey Boys XXX (a genuine porn parody musical) made for some interesting viewing, most of the parodies included in Dusty’s list fit the usual bill: superheroes, perverted takes on Disney characters, and two Scorsese movies lampooned in a most lusty style. Fun, sure, but not exactly ground-breaking.
Are porn parodies growing stale or are they gradually getting better, bolder, and more outrageous? Perhaps 2015 will hold the answer, but if Axel Braun’s got anything to say about it it’ll be all spandex sporting sexual spoofs of waning interest to so many porn fans. Is pseudo-incest set to burst into the mainstream the way parodies did a few years back? Will they take over as porn virgins’ first viewings or is something else, something even more risque and tantalizingly taboo on the horizon?
Whatever the case, whether it shuffles off to let pseudo-taboo themes take center-stage or is reinvigorated by new talent and new ideas, 2015 is going to be an interesting year for parody porn.
A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.
Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.
Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”
If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.
I’m all out of candy and I’m through being nice to other people’s spawn, but I’m nonetheless a bit sad that Halloween has come and gone for another year. Whatever your celebratory habits may be, the immediately-post-Halloween period can bring you hurtling back to reality and leave you an ugly, depressed mess. In an effort to cheer up both myself and you, dear reader, I figured I’d try to keep the Halloween porn-party going with some scintillating tidbits that reveal how some very lucky Kink fans celebrated All Hallows’ this year.
In collaboration with theatrical circus troupe, Vau de Vire Society, Kink.com this year launched it’s very first immersive, interactive Halloween experience they call Hell in the Armory. Reporting for Vice, Anubha Momin attended the inaugural horror-fest and found things slightly more terrifying that arousing. Featuring such horrific scenes (all performed live by Kink and Vau de Vire members) as a woman’s abduction by a voracious werewolf, an asylum inmate ranting maniacally about her ghoulish child, an insane and blood-thirsty doctor operating (read: reconfiguring) his patient’s limbs, a vaudeville-style musical zombie trio, and a clown content to masturbate all night in a public phone booth.
By far the most outlandish event of the evening was, according to Momin, when she entered a well-stocked meat locker to find a bearded figure nailed to a wooden cross. Naked, bleeding, and intent on converting his audience to his particular faith, the bibles at his feet an obvious clue as to his identity. Suddenly, though, JC’s sermon from the cross was interrupted by a “maniacal butcher with a chainsaw” who barged in and headed straight for the soon-to-be-crucified-figure’s torso, plunging his blade deep into the dude’s chest and belly.
There’s no word yet as to whether Hell in the Armory will run again next year after 2014’s sold out season, or whether Kink and Vau de Vire Society will create an all-new attraction. Even if Halloween 2015 sees an empty spot on Kink’s calendar, you could always head over to the Armory, stand outside on a chilly San Francisco evening, and imagine the horrors unfolding inside a sexual hell of Kink’s making.