Fucking Punks!

NasstoysEarlier this week, Mr. Pink’s took a wander through the Burning Angel network in preparation for a slew of new reviews of Joanna and crew’s fantastic punk rock porn sites. The first to receive the full Pink treatment was POV Punx, a site devoted entirely to thrusting you in the virtual hot seat and providing drool-worthy views of Kylee Kross, Misti Dawn, Kleio Valentein and other Burning Angels in scenes of face, snatch, and ass-fucking awesomeness.

Those of you who’ve been paying special attention to recent trends would’ve surely noticed the increased presence of “alternative” girls in porn both softcore and hardcore, on sites like Suicide Girls and God’s Girls, all over the Tumblr-verse, and even on relatively mainstream adult sites like Brazzers and Bang Bros. While Burning Angel is obviously the place to go for hardcore pornstars with tattoos, piercings, and absurdly colored hair, and POV Punx offers as intimate an experience with such girls as the Internet is currently capable of, those who want something a bit more tangible can turn to Nasstoys and its newest male sexual aid products.

FukPussy Pierced Nipples and FukPussy Pierced Vagina might seem like fairly bizarre objects to sink your shaft into but when you consider that they allegedly feel “better than real REALSKIN” and include a push-button bullet vibrator to offer vibrating orgasms, fucking a pierced pile of anatomically inaccurate flesh-colored thermoplastic rubber doesn’t seem like such a bad idea; and, hey, used in conjunction with POV Punx, the FukPussy might have you convinced you’ve just bagged yourself some real goth-punk pussy.

Brazzers Jumps Into Action

BrazzersWhile it’s always a treat to go back and take another look at a site or network that had previous made a profoundly positive impression on yours truly, it’s even better when the site or network in question has made a huge leap in production quality, audio-visual quality, design, or usability. In the case of the Brazzers network, the first three couldn’t really have been much improved upon, but with the addition of a feature called Jump to Action, Brazzers now allows its stream-friendly viewers to head straight to the part of a scene that most appeals to their unique pornographic predilections.

Brazzers’ Jump to Action menu sits below all newly added scenes and shows, in the case of London Keyes’ recent ‘Invading Your Priv-Assy’ scene for Big Butts Like it Big, every act the delightful Asian-American pornstar performed with Mick Blue. From initial Blowjob to Spanking and a hot Side Fuck all the way to the Gaping brought on by Mick’s thick cock. Hovering your cursor over one of these markers shows a preview thumbnail of that moment in the video and, of course, when you click a marker you’re shot straight to that part of the scene. Nice development, huh?

So, if you’ve been putting off another month inside the Brazzers world because you love how Monique Alexander fucks but hate the way she blows, or you’re of otherwise perfect Charley Chase cocksucking scenes turning into blandly vanilla sex, or even if you just want to beat your meat fast and furiously to a clip of your favorite girl taking a load in the mouth over and over and over again, Jump to Action has you covered.

How Does Lindsay Lohan Feel?

Fleshlight - Lindsay LohanProfessional tabloid fodder, Lindsay Lohan has finally accepted Playboy Magazine’s long-standing offer of a nude pictorial. When originally asked a few years back, just as her star was beginning to wane, Lohan had yet to bare her breasts onscreen or in print and, feeling she risked losing some credibility, was reported asking for a cool million to get her gear off for Hugh Hefner’s infamous publication. Now, after numerous run-ins with the law and trouble with addictive substances, as well as already revealing her breasts in artsy-fartsy photospreads in New York Magazine and Harper’s, it seems Lohan is just desperate enough to finally accept Playboy’s offer – and for a little less than her demanded $1 million, too. Lohan’s equally controversial mother, Dina Lohan, has reportedly confirmed that the shoot has taken place and that it was “tasteful.” Bummer.

After hearing the news of Loco LiLo’s plans with Playboy, Fleshlight, the makers of the world’s most popular male sex toy, have thrown the troubled star a proverbial bone. Like pornstars Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Jesse Jane before her, Lindsay could be the next Fleshlight girl if only she’d agree to have moulds made of her vagina, anus, or mouth. Steve Shubin, CEO of Fleshlight has offered her the $1 million she failed to get from Playboy in exchange for her services and likeness, saying “This is a perfect way for Lindsay to immortalize her body parts and it allows fans to connect with her in a whole new way.”

Anyone else think that if LiLo suffers a few more legal troubles Dina just might push her in Fleshlight’s direction?

Lindsay Lohan is set to appear in Playboy’s January 2012 issue, on sale in December. The Fleshlight, it seems, will have to wait.