You may have heard that a 63-year-old Reno man was recently busted for watching porn on his laptop and fondling himself mid-air on a SouthWest flight late last week, but did you know the guy is also recently defrocked priest of the Claretians order? Turns out the guy, who used the in-flight WiFi service to augment his barely concealed masturbatory fondling, was ejected from the order for, according to a 2002 article in the Austin American-Statesman, “alleged inappropriate contact with a minor, though an investigation found no evidence of violence or sexual abuse.”
Gee, thanks Padre! Now those of who who respectfully reserve our in-flight porn viewing for when we’re lucky enough to nab a seat in the rear-most aisle so as not to disturb or disrupt the other, more delicate passengers will now likely have to run all our in-flight Internet usage through content filters. There goes my catching up on AVN news bulletins during a red eye. Bye-bye some dude showing his buddy a photo of the pornstar he met while partying it up in Vegas. There goes your ability, dear reader, to watch an episode of Red Shoe Diaries streamed on Hulu Plus instead of trying not to watch five straight hours of some animated shit on the screen belonging to the dumb-ass brat sitting in front of you, the brat who has reclined so far back he spilled your G&T and is preventing your kneecaps from breathing that stale in-flight air.
Well, at least, I suppose, we can content ourselves with the knowledge that this is one guy who won’t be whipping it out in public again anytime soon. Now if only the San Francisco Public Library system would install masturbation detectors, we could all read in peace, too.