Brazzers Wants Your Gift Cards

Brazzers

There it was emblazoned across the bottom of a picture of Keisha Grey’s bountiful ass on the homepage at Brazzers HQ: “Trade Unused Gift Cards for Membership.” My jaw dropped. Could Brazzers really be telling me there’s a use for all those Starbucks and Target and Best Buy and (ugh) Marshalls gift cards my family members indifferently toss at me come Christmastime? Considering the ZZ sign-up process now includes the option to pay in the virtual currencies issued by everyone from Adidas and Aeropostale to Urban Outfitters, Victoria’s Secret, and even Wal-Mart and palmed off as thoughtless presents by pretty much everyone, I’d say that’s affirmative, wouldn’t you?

Brazzers opened this new avenue of payment in early January and has been Tweetin’ the news to its ten gazillion followers thusly:

When it comes to alternative methods of payment, the ZZ has some competition, though, as Naughty America recently announced that it would be accepting new members paying with bank checks and the controversial decentralized crypto-currency Bitcoin. With Bitcoin thrust under the nose of the CIA, the FBI, the DEA, the ATF (all the acronyms, really) due to deep-web markets like Silk Road, perhaps that seemingly useless stack of gift cards is indeed the wisest path of alternative porn-site payment. Brazzers assures its members the whole process will be painless and, aside from not getting the exact monetary value of the gift card in question, you’ll probably find it so. If you’ve got a $25 Starbucks card laying around, that’ll get you 16 days of access; a $200 Best Buy gift card earns you an insane 608 days of access!

And, bless ’em, the Brazzers team has made the whole transaction anonymous so you’ll never have to ‘fess up and admit to your dear old mother that the Williams-Sonoma gift card she gleefully presented you and your then-girlfriend with all those months ago didn’t make it anywhere near a Williams-Sonoma store and instead was used to ensure you wouldn’t have to miss Madison Ivy’s hotly anticipated, much ballyhooed upcoming anal debut right here at Brazzers. Whew.

brazzers review

2014 AVN Nominees Announced – Now with More tips!

AVN Awards 2014The adult entertainment industry already has a strong presence in the city of Las Vegas, but come January 18 of 2014, “Sin City” will be positively overrun with cocksuckers, assfuckers, cum guzzlers, pussy-drillers, camera-wielders, lighting technicians, (legal) pimps and publicists and promotions teams, all focused on one thing and one thing only: recognition. (Well, and sex, too. And money.) And, with nominees now announced in all 135 categories, the AVN Awards season is in full swing. But who’s careers are on the verge of exploding thanks to a statuette, which superstars are about to become legends, and which behind-the-scenes talent is hot-tipped to become the next Axel Braun or John Stagliano?

Having ogled and assessed porn in every 50 weeks of the year thus far, I, Mr. Pink, am in a particularly good position to offer my tips to all those engaging in a little NSFW betting pool, for all the major categories at least. While there are simply too many nominees to list them all here – my apologies to all those hard-working men and women left unmentioned – we’ll be assessing the odds of our favorites scoring the top prizes in their respective categories over a few blogs in the lead-up to the 2014 AVN Awards. And why don’t we start with the most coveted prizes of all…?

Asa Akira

Having signed an exclusive performance contract with Wicked Pictures and lending her directorial talents to Elegant Angel, 2013 AVN Female Performer of the Year Asa Akira hasn’t slowed or cooled down one bit since her win earlier this year and looks set to become the second back-to-back winner (after Tori Black in 2010 and 2011).

James Deen

Winner of the 2013 Male Performer of the Year trophy, James Deen has had a pretty incredible year, but don’t be surprised if his dramatic turn in Paul Schrader and Bret Easton Ellis’s ‘The Canyons’ puts him in top spot as Mainstream Star of the Year, making room for another win by perennial favorite Manuel Ferrara (for what would be his fifth).

Cindy Starfall

In my personal favorite category of the AVNs, Best New Starlet, the competition is fierce and sees everyone from A.J. Applegate and Casey Calvert coming up against Raven Rockette, Rikki Six, and Jodi Taylor, but my pick goes to the tiny yet utterly insatiable Cindy Starfall. In her first full year of US porn production, Ms. Starfall shot her first creampie, blow-bang, squirting, double-vaginal, and gangbang scenes. Sure, other girls have done much the same this year, but nobody has come close to Cindy’s aggressive enthusiasm, camera-lens eye contact, compact but thrilling figure, and, most of all, the way her Vietnamese-accented voice begs for ‘your’ attention and affection.

As the weeks fall away and the 2014 AVN Awards approach, keep tabs on the brightest award hopes with Mr. Pink’s and, please, share your favorites with us on Twitter.

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Burning Angel

burningangelblog

Joanna Angel hasn’t exactly disappeared from the porn world, but she’s certainly stepped back from the spotlight a bit. Anyone worried that the heavily inked Brooklynite was on the verge of folding her Burning Angel company can rest easily, though, thanks in part to this killer Burning Angel membership deal. Normally charging $29.95 for one month of access, Burning Angel can now be enjoyed for half that price! And, as the front page of the Burning Angel network, such a membership would plant you at the opened gates of a world filled with inked skin, dyed hair, pierced body parts, and more ass-fucking than most prisons see in a decade. Pornstars like Skin Diamond, Dana DeArmond, and Sasha Grey have shot for Burning Angel, but it’s the Angels themselves that will keep your eyes glued to the small screen. Joanna and her crew of gutter punks, super sluts, and other revolving degenerates (including Veruca James, Krissie Dee, Tommy Pistol, Chad Alva, Vulpix, and Bella Vendetta) give you sordid “alt.porn” better than what any other wannabe porntrepreneur can manage.

Burning Angel’s archive might not be as dense as it once was, but with nearly 700 scenes and 1,500 galleries total, which is surely nothing to sneeze at, especially in the alt.porn world.

The Math:
Burning Angel, 700 scenes, and 1500 photo galleries are hard to resist at any price, but at just $14.95 a month, you’d be mad not to pay close attention. Breaking it down to bare digits, you’ll be paying .09¢ per gallery, 2¢ per video, and just 5¢ per model – a great deal in anyone’s book. And, hey, if you’re still not convinced, maybe a three-day trial for $2.95 (a pittance!) will drag you into one of porn’s most consistently interesting and decidedly unique hardcore realms.