World’s Fastest Sex Toy

Multi-speed vibrators were once an impressive feat of manufacturing, but now seem pretty damn dull. In an effort to bring some spectacle back into the sex toy industry and to test out the limits of their Velvet Obsession Bullet, Synergy Erotic strapped their 800-horse-power mini-vibrator into the passenger side of a Dodge Stratus drag-racer. Reaching an amazing 4Gs during launch and set a new landspeed record as the fastest sex toy on the planet. The driver, Lisa Licksalot brought the vehicle to a top speed of 182mph, but the waterproof Bullet never skipped, stalled, or froze, keeping its consistent, powerful vibrations throughout the entire the quarter mile sprint.

Synergy Erotic CEO, Bob Wolf called the experiment “a bold and brazen attempt to fly in the face of all the naysayers who said, nay YELLED, ‘It can’t be done!’ Not only does Synergy Erotic make the finest sex toys known to man, we also make the fastest and quickest. Going out on a limb and proving our point in such a brutal, hazardous environment is what differentiates Synergy Erotic from the competition!”

As for Ms. Licksalot, well, she is reportedly in talks to star in a “tasteful” photoshoot with the surviving Velvet Obsession Bullet, which, although battered and bruised, remains completely functional.

This entry was posted in Laughs, Sex Toys and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply