Entertainment | Mr. Pink's Blog

Drips of Sweetness, Cum Like Candy

A friend of mine, regaling me with the story of her first experience doling out fellatio, once told me that ejaculate tasted like “egg white and seawater.” As appetizing as that cocktail may seem to a few, the taste of ejaculate is often cited as a reason some women and men are reluctant to open their mouths for their semen-filled lovers. Some foods can alter the taste – pineapple juice makes it sweeter; asparagus should be avoided at all costs – but that wasn’t enough for the creative geniuses behind Florida-based manufacturer of sexual wellness products, HiPleasures. The crew’s latest creation promises to lighten the heavier tastes in your load for a sugary sweet deposit that should have any would-be sucker heading back for seconds. And, get this, it’s called Sugar Cum!

Sugar Cum contains “Proprietary Blend 650mg, Pineapple Extract, Acai Extract, Papaya Extract, Wheatgrass Extract & cinnamon,” and vows to enhance the flavor not only of male ejaculate, but of female genital discharges, too! Priced at $5.99 per two-pill pack, Sugar Cum is something of a luxury purchase aimed at those either desperate to convince their partner for more frequent oral sex or considerate enough to surprise their partner with an after-dinner treat that doesn’t involve frozen yogurt with mounds of toppings. That said, couldn’t you just hit the Jamba Juice before meeting your date or encourage her to drink Cape Cods and not Black Russians? The folks at both Cosmopolitan UK and Jezebel seem to think it’s a worthwhile tool to try. After all, a number of commenters complained about the taste of their own vaginal discharges, so you can imagine what their partners must’ve thought mid-lap!

The contents of Sugar Cum capsules can be dissolved in water for easy consumption and can be purchased directly from HiPleasures.

#cocksinsocksshocks

Awareness raising charities have never been more prevalent than they are now – see recent hubbubs over Lady Gaga’s youth empowerment-focused Born This Way Foundation and Jenny McCarthy’s anti-vaccine Generation Rescue and that whole Pink Ribbon for breast cancer campaign started by the Susan G. Komen organization – but until recently it had seemed most campaigns that took to social media for disbursement were mainly spread and supported by women posting make-up-free selfies and supposedly leukemia-focused cleavage parading. The fellas have finally joined in the fun of (reported) fundraising, snapping selfies that, save for a well placed sock, would be utterly, totally naked. And it’s all in the name of raising awareness of testicular cancer… or prostate cancer… whichever one you like, I guess. (As a movement, it does seem a little unfocused.)

Now, far be it from to claim a double standard when there are so many held against women but not us men, but why does it seem perfectly acceptable in the eyes of so many vocal Instagram and Twitter users (and, if you believe they’re legitimate, Buzzfeed commenters) that all men depicted in the celebratory articles are tall, fit, muscular, and, largely, tattooed and sporting some kind of hip hair style, cranial or facial? Isn’t spouting “Hot damn… Um.. please excuse me while I change my panties ;p” in regard to the valiant effort of brave, selfless men exposing their most vulnerable states to an anonymous global audience a little, well, sexist? Wouldn’t the same comment be downvoted to all hell if posted by a man in response to, say, #titsinmitts? Way to treat us like pieces of meat, ladies! And exactly how does Buzzfeed, HuffPo and other news and content aggregators racking up millions of page views (and advertising dollars) on the backs of these boys and their barely-sheathed tackle help fight… whatever cancer is allegedly the focus here?

2014 AVN Nominees Announced – Now with More tips!

The adult entertainment industry already has a strong presence in the city of Las Vegas, but come January 18 of 2014, “Sin City” will be positively overrun with cocksuckers, assfuckers, cum guzzlers, pussy-drillers, camera-wielders, lighting technicians, (legal) pimps and publicists and promotions teams, all focused on one thing and one thing only: recognition. (Well, and sex, too. And money.) And, with nominees now announced in all 135 categories, the AVN Awards season is in full swing. But who’s careers are on the verge of exploding thanks to a statuette, which superstars are about to become legends, and which behind-the-scenes talent is hot-tipped to become the next Axel Braun or John Stagliano?

Having ogled and assessed porn in every 50 weeks of the year thus far, I, Mr. Pink, am in a particularly good position to offer my tips to all those engaging in a little NSFW betting pool, for all the major categories at least. While there are simply too many nominees to list them all here – my apologies to all those hard-working men and women left unmentioned – we’ll be assessing the odds of our favorites scoring the top prizes in their respective categories over a few blogs in the lead-up to the 2014 AVN Awards. And why don’t we start with the most coveted prizes of all…?

Having signed an exclusive performance contract with Wicked Pictures and lending her directorial talents to Elegant Angel, 2013 AVN Female Performer of the Year Asa Akira hasn’t slowed or cooled down one bit since her win earlier this year and looks set to become the second back-to-back winner (after Tori Black in 2010 and 2011).

Winner of the 2013 Male Performer of the Year trophy, James Deen has had a pretty incredible year, but don’t be surprised if his dramatic turn in Paul Schrader and Bret Easton Ellis’s ‘The Canyons’ puts him in top spot as Mainstream Star of the Year, making room for another win by perennial favorite Manuel Ferrara (for what would be his fifth).

In my personal favorite category of the AVNs, Best New Starlet, the competition is fierce and sees everyone from A.J. Applegate and Casey Calvert coming up against Raven Rockette, Rikki Six, and Jodi Taylor, but my pick goes to the tiny yet utterly insatiable Cindy Starfall. In her first full year of US porn production, Ms. Starfall shot her first creampie, blow-bang, squirting, double-vaginal, and gangbang scenes. Sure, other girls have done much the same this year, but nobody has come close to Cindy’s aggressive enthusiasm, camera-lens eye contact, compact but thrilling figure, and, most of all, the way her Vietnamese-accented voice begs for ‘your’ attention and affection.

As the weeks fall away and the 2014 AVN Awards approach, keep tabs on the brightest award hopes with Mr. Pink’s and, please, share your favorites with us on Twitter.

Can’t Keep a Danish Nympho Down

Plenty of those working in the adult industry have found themselves up against YouTube’s posted Community Guidelines for posting content deemed inappropriate and unwelcome, too sexually provocative for a general audience. Self-shot pornstar vlogs and adult movie trailers alike have been taken offline after being reported by more conservative users, but movies with worldwide cinema distribution deals have largely been left to flourish in the most expansive marketing tool the industry has ever seen. Until now.

For those unaware, that’s Danish cinema provocateur Lars Von Trier, whose next film’s trailer was recently unleashed upon a global cinema culture wet with anticipation. Then, rather unceremoniously, it was pulled from YouTube, the most visible (and vital) viral video site (and promotional tool) in history. Thankfully, YouTube isn’t the only game in town, leaving Vimeo, Onion’s A.V. Club, and numerous other outlets to run the highly explicit, defiantly NSFW trailer uncensored. And, surpassing most expectations (at least the more puerile ones) and following on from a series of orgasmically evocative character posters, the trailer’s loaded with explicit imagery that should persuade you to ignore the more intolerable heart-wrenching films of Von Trier’s past and at least give Nymphomaniac, which is reported to run 5½ hours in its full cut, a devoted fast-forwarding.

For the trainspotters out there that still need to be convinced to check out the trailer, here’s a brief rundown of the carnally adventurous treasures it contains:

– Graphic (if brief) shot of labia in repose.
– Charlotte Gainsbourg crawling naked, sucking dick, and fucking on a hospital bed.
– … and beaten black and blue.
– A proposed virginity-shedding.
– Uma Thurman referring to a “Whoring bed,” before screaming her lungs out.
– A bare-assed caning, complete with instructions and corrections.
– Stacy Martin wiping what appears to be ejaculate from her lip and breathing “Wow.”
– Shia LaBeouf licking a nipple.
– Some crying.
– A few pretentious lines of voiceover.
– and Rammstein.

Nymphomaniac, in its truncated form, is set a Dec. 25 US release. Learn more at the official website and, for now at least, just watch the damn trailer!

Nymphomaniac Official Trailer from Zentropa on Vimeo.