Events | Mr. Pink's Blog

Fleshlights Full of Cash in L.A.

Simple Pickup, a company founded by a few guys eager to prove their ‘game’, aims to provide information and education to sexually frustrated guys in an effort to help them conquer their inhibitions and become that lady-killing ultra-player they’ve always dreamed about. So successful is Simple Pickup that a Change.org petition started by Stop Street Harassment has already garnered 30,000 digital signatures and demands an immediate end to what they see as blatant sexual harassment. Apparently, though, Fleshlight, makers of the best-selling masturbation aid for men, saw Simple Pickup as a great promotional opportunity and gave the three guys behind the service $10,000 to create a promo video for their product.

Instead of investing the ten grand in their production budget, the Simple Pickup dudes decided to stuff genuine US currency into the soft, pliable openings of some 200 Fleshlights and scatter them throughout Los Angeles. Giving out clues via their Twitter and Facebook pages after announcing the find-a-hole contest on YouTube, the guys will keep hinting towards the location of the Fleshlights before finally revealing it in full this Saturday. So far, three clues have been unveiled and the broke and horny of LA are running around with an empty duffel bag over their shoulders.

“So what, I’m not in LA,” you say, “Why do I give a shit about this giveaway thing?” Well, pal, ’cause the SimplePickups chuds vowed to unleash their hidden Fleshlight bonanza in another city if their announcement video reached 50,000 views – it currently sits at 285,000 views, so your city could be next to have molded vaginas hidden among its beaches and barrooms, its malls, its parks, even perhaps its adult variety emporiums. Follow the clues with #FleshCash and good huntin’, pals!

Boob Aid

So, untold buckets of ice-water have been dumped on the heads of celebrities and nobodies alike but there’s millions of people out there who still don’t know what the fuck an ALS even is! Clearly, that Lou Gehrig guy, sick though he may be, is going about raising awareness the absolute wrong way. Clearly he should be groping Japanese women’s breasts on television.

Unofficially dubbed ‘Boob Aid’ by its fans and sticking by its motto “Making a social contribution while enjoying the erotic,” a charity event organized by Stop!AIDS and broadcast on Sky Perfect TV ran for 24 straight hours and featured little more than a dozen Japanese pornstars lining up and inviting fans to grope and fondle their breasts. The only catch, only those donating money to the campaign could cop a feel. Boob Aid aimed to raise funds and awareness for Japan’s AIDS sufferers and to promote safe sex practices aimed at prevention further transmission of the virus, which currently affects approximately 8,100 Japanese.

Adult star Rina Serina spoke to Tokyo Sports newspaper prior to the event, saying “I’m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs. I never thought my boobs could contribute to society.” Iku Sakuragi, another performer baring her breasts for AIDS sufferers, added “It’s for charity. Squeeze them, donate money. Let’s be happy!” Can’t argue with that, can ya? In any case, the 2,000 attendees couldn’t argue with such a worthy cause and novel promotion, flocking to the event and laying their hands on twelve pairs of pornstar breasts.

See footage from last year’s event below and, please, before you try your hand at starting a charity fund-raising event or (God forbid) meme, do try to incorporate nudity to an excessive degree.

America’s Naughtiest Ice Bucket Challenge

Dumping a bucket of ice-cold water over your head might seem like an idiotic use of one’s time, but the thousands of celebrities, politicians, athletes, and everyday folks like you and I who’ve done exactly that in the name of raising awareness of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS; aka ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease’), a progressive neurodegenerative disease affecting the brain’s nerve cells and the spinal cord. Hey, raising awareness of an often fatal disease and promoting donations to ALS Association, a charity focused on ALS care, can only be a good thing, right? Not exactly, some critics say, citing severe global water shortages and the hazy instructions for the challenge – so, if I dump the bucket I don’t have to pay but if I don’t dump the bucket, I do? – though naysayers didn’t stop Naughty America jumping on the bandwagon.

“Social media is stressing me out!” complains Naughty Rich Girl Jillian Janson to her butler, Johnny Sins, before asking him to explain to her the whole Ice Bucket Challenge brouhaha. “There’s something about freezing to death that just doesn’t rub me the right way,” she says, “Can’t you just make this all go away?” Sins offers his services, to which Ms. Janson curiously responds in a most forward manner. “What, do I need to have sex with you to make you do something for me? Ok, well, whip it out!”

Clearly abusing her professional hold on him, Janson does indeed take Sins’s growing dick out his neatly pressed trousers, leading him into a couch-based coupling that ends with Sins depositing a little something inside Ms. Janson, soiling her body and dress in the process. Afterwards, she heads outside for some sun, only to be met by a bucket-wielding Sins who now says he, having just won the lottery, is quitting. He raises the jumbo red bucket high above the suntanning Ms. Janson before overturning it and drenching her (appropriately white-shirted) body with the icy water.

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Sure, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and the dialog is particularly stilted and unrealistic, but at least Naughty America’s contribution to the #1 viral marketing hit of 2014, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is for a good cause. Isn’t it? Someone donated something, didn’t they?

Win Yourself an AVN Experience to Remember!

So you think you’ve got what it takes to shoot the shit with porn’s most dazzling personalities while maintaining an entertaining and professional manner? And you think you’ll be able to withstand the glitz and glamor of the 2015 AVN Awards, focusing on the task at hand even if that task is interviewing performers, directors, producers, and presenters? Well, my friend, you’ll now have your shot – or, you’ll have your shot at getting your shot, at least – thanks to the good folks at Adult DVD Empire.

Offering one porn fan the chance to be their official AVN correspondent this coming January at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Adult DVD Empire is asking wannabe porn reporters to shoot a brief YouTube video that proves to judges why you’re a worthy recipient of such a distinguished honor. Oh, and Bonnie Rotten tells you the basics of the competition in a cheap, fast, and flashy video (seen below). The winner, and there can be only one, will receive airfare from anywhere in the continental United States to Las Vegas and hotel accommodation for three nights so you can take in every moment of the Adult Entertainment Expo and the AVN Awards, both which you’ll naturally also win passes to. You’ll probably get a lanyard, too. (People still think lanyards are awesome, right?)

If you’re so inclined, dear reader, I’d suggest boning up on your comedic timing and witty repartee, and perhaps throwing some slickness into your video presentation, ’cause there’s bound to be plenty of self-described awesomely funny folks who’ll do almost anything to meet and greet pornstar babes galore, giving you some stiff competition. How are you going to stand out? What will you do to be granted use of a camera, microphone, and laminated access pass that no other porno superfan would even consider, let alone commit to? Now, all you up-and-coming Dave Attells and Lisa Lampinellis of the world, get shootin’!