In July of 2009, Janine Lindemulder, pornstar extraordinaire and the nurse on the cover of Blink-182’s Enema of the State album, was released from prison after spending four months of a six month sentence for tax evasion. Once again back in the free world, Lindemulder devoted most of her time to seeking custody of her daughter with West Coast Choppers founder, Jesse James. Finally awarded full custody of Sunny earlier this year, it appeared things were finally turning around for the one-time queen of tattooed porno sluts. What next, though, for this hard living, hard fucking 43-year-old?
Issuing a press release claiming to have not seen her daughter in five months after James was again granted full custody and moved to Texas, the aggressive Janine seems to be back on the warpath seeking not only visitation rights to Sunny, but attention from media outlets, too. The press release goes on to state that “Janine is returning to the adult industry,” and wants to reveal “her side of the story that involved sex, scandal, celebrity, prison, the custody of a little girl and what the future holds [for Lindemulder herself.”
Does this mean we’ll be seeing the Amazonian rocker slut back in the on-screen saddle again sometime soon? Let’s hope so. The “alt.porn” stars of today could learn a thing or two from a woman who simply refuses to give up and let some Sandra Bullock-bonking, reality TV show-starring, hog-straddler steal her thunder!
Genuine milestones are rarely appreciated in the adult industry, with accolades instead going to a female performer’s first anal or double-penetration scene. A few months ago, however, Kelly and Ryan Madison reached their 400th Porn Fidelity episode and celebrated with Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Yurizan Beltran, McKenzie Lee, and Samantha Saint in a seven-person scene entitled ‘The Bangover’. Porn’s most notorious married couple didn’t stop there, however. This week saw Kelly’s main site, Kelly Madison dot com, add its 900th scene!
Having been active online for over ten years now, it makes sense that Kelly’s site would end up with such a huge collection, but, man, NINE HUNDRED SCENES, all of them exclusive and originally created by Kelly & Co. – that’s certainly an achievement to be proud of. So, how did Kelly celebrate this particular milestone, you ask? Well, she grabbed her dear darling husband, Ryan, and threw him into the middle of a three-girl sandwich with herself and two other mega-busty blonde sluts. Shooting a load on each set of undulating breasts – three loads; whatta man! – Ryan seems to be getting all the gifts whenever he and Kelly throw a party. Not only is Kelly Madison an AVN and XBiz Award winner, she’s a devoted wife, an awesome lay, and one heck of a sweet gal.
Some dude serving in the US Marine Corps requested a date with Friends With Benefits star, Mila Kunis, and got it. Soon after a woman solider serving alongside him asked out Kunis’s co-star, Justin Timberlake, who gladly donned a tux and escorted his fan to the Instructor Battalion Marine Corps Ball. You, all the you want is a date with a pornstar. Which pornstar doesn’t really matter, but, hey, Lisa Ann’s fucking stunning so why not her? Well, now the leading manufacturer of sexual aids for men, Fleshlight offers you a chance to escort the one and only Ms. Lisa Ann herself to the 2012 AVN Awards in Las Vegas. All you’ve gotta do is head on over to Fleshlight’s webstore and buy one of Lisa’s signature Fleshlights and you could be flown to Vegas to accompany everyone’s favorite über MILF to the AVN Awards, a gala event every porn fan dreams of attending.
And, hey, if you don’t win, you’ll still have your fantasies and a brand new Barracuda or Forbidden Fleshlight molded with the incomparable Lisa Ann’s vagina or asshole, and that, dear reader, ain’t nothing to sneeze at.
Whether or not you’re aware of it, the likelihood that a complete stranger has has visual access to the lower undergarment your girlfriend, sister, friend, mother, or even daughter is very high. If these females wear skirts, it is even higher. If they have worn a skirt while visiting New York’s Union Square, it’s almost a certainty. Peepers are on a panty-prowl all over the world, yes, but thanks to the tireless efforts of Normal Bob Smith, the self-appointed sentinel of Union Square, these perverted men face embarrassment, exposure, and ridicule. On his Union Square-focused website, Normal Bob Smith’s Amazing Strangers, our hero has, as previously reported by Mr. Pink’s, documented the activities and methodologies of these Peepers in an effort to enlighten and empower skirt-wearing women of New York and, indeed, of the entire world. The most illustrative of Smith’s documents is a series of video works entitled “Methods of a Peeper.” With six installments already online (and hopefully more to come), Smith goes into incredible detail narrating this own footage of Peepers in action. After exposing the “Tandem Style Passenger Window”, “Portrait”, and “Front Row” Peeping methods, Smith and his camera have unearthed actual footage of the most dangerous of all Peeping methods, Picture Peeping.
Armed with an everyday digital camera, the Picture Peeper doesn’t just hope to catch himself a glimpse of a stranger’s panties, he hopes to document it for later viewing and perhaps even distribution. We’ve all seen websites purporting to host galleries and movies of surreptitiously snapped upskirt or down-blouse images, but I, for one, usually assume they were taken with the permission and cooperation of the subject. Methods of a Peeper 6: Picture Peeping now has me convinced otherwise. With his camera trained on a pot-bellied aging Peeper, Smith points out various peeping techniques – dangling a camera from the wrist, pretending to calculate numbers while holding said camera, holding the camera low and steady while taking long, extended videos et. al. – all of which allow the Peeper to store his images for a lonely Saturday evening or for sharing with friends. With the unwelcome online distribution of intimate photos as hot a topic as ever, the lessons to be gleaned from Smith’s public service videos are so vital they perhaps should be shown in schools, YWCAs, and self-defense classes around the country.
Like Spider-Man and Travis Bickle before him, though, Normal Bob Smith and his selfless attempts to preserve the sanctity of his beloved New York will likely go unnoticed, misunderstood, and under-appreciated. Mr. Pink, for one, isn’t afraid to applaud his heroic efforts, efforts that have brought him face-to-face with the sleaziest men of The Big Apple, resulted in plenty of hate mail, and no doubt placed his own safety in great jeopardy.
Normal Bob Smith, you are a true patriot and for you valiant efforts to protect the sanctity of what lies between the legs of the women of New York, Mr. Pink salutes you, sir.
In July of 2009, Janine Lindemulder, pornstar extraordinaire and the nurse on the cover of Blink-182’s Enema of the State album, was released from prison after spending four months of a six month sentence for tax evasion. Once again back in the free world, Lindemulder devoted most of her time to seeking custody of her daughter with West Coast Choppers founder, Jesse James. Finally awarded full custody of Sunny earlier this year, it appeared things were finally turning around for the one-time queen of tattooed porno sluts. What next, though, for this hard living, hard fucking 43-year-old?
