Category: News

Australia: A Porn-Hating Paradise

Australian Sex PartyPorn-loving Australians and those intended to visit the Land Down Under with a handy stash of porn – to be used only if they can’t score some private time with an Aussie beach bunny, of course – better check themselves before they wriggity-wreck themselves, ’cause the allegedly easy-going, no-worries-having capital of the world has its sights on pornography and is setting its lasers to “obliterate.”

The Australian Sex Party, try as it might, just can’t seem to convince Australian Customs that prying into the private viewing habits of adults ain’t none of their damn business. Customs officials have, since 2010, asked visitors and returning citizens to declare any pornographic material in their possession when entering the country. Issuing an announcement this Thursday, the Sex Party said “Customs officers now routinely intercept every shipment of X18+ and Category 1 and 2 restricted magazines that come into Australia. One in every 10 people are either searched or questioned regarding the question that is asked on the Incoming Passenger Cards about ‘pornography’.” And, somewhat surprisingly, this searching isn’t limited to plain-view items stowed in baggage or one one’s person, but, according to senior Customs officials, also to digital content held on “laptops, thumb drives, and iPhones, putting every non-luddite traveler on the potential hit list, even though explicit non-violent pornography is legal in most of the nation’s states and territories. Australian Sex Party Public Officer, Robbie Swan, spoke of the resources wasted on such trivial censorship, which has Customs officers spending more time searching for legal pornography than illegal firearms.

The Sex Party has called on Australia’s Attorney-General, Nicola Roxon, to adhere to the recommendations offered by a recent Australia Law Reform Commission report on the country’s censorship laws, which gave details on how and where cuts could be made and attention could be refocused to free up large amounts of police and Customs time to focus on issues of greater importance; you know, like making sure women have a harder time getting raped at gunpoint. I’m no legal expert, but to me that makes perfect sense. Whaddya think?

Beating-Off Down Under: It’s Hard to Do

As we sit here comfortably in “the land of the free and all that jazz,” our fellow porn-lovers living in that haven of surfers, slackers, and undervalued 70s, 80s, and 90s rock ‘n’ roll bands known as The Land Down Under are struggling for even the most basic modern age access to pornography. David Thodey, CEO of Telstra, Australia’s leading telecommunications company, announced on April 11 that the company’s BigPond online entertainment and news service will cease offering its remarkably mild and seriously softcore ‘glamour content’ due to customer complaints (“It objectifies women!”) and pressure from anti-porn activist group Collective Shout. Calling Telstra “Australia’s largest family company,” Thodey announced that although more explicit content is readily available at video rental and retail stores across the country and that none of the BigPond-hosted ‘glamour’ content was classified R 18+ (restricted to adults only), he has personally decide to withdraw the “offending” articles, which he calls “sexist” and “inconsistent with [Telstra’s] core values.”

So, listen up, Australian Mr. Pink’s readers and anyone anywhere in the world who gives a shit about the rights of adults to consume whatever legal entertainment media they wish, before you go supporting a telecommunications company, remember the argument that David Thodey, like so many other corporate pontificators all over the world, has resorted to in order to justify his actions: “It’s just not the Telstra thing to do.”

Oh well, at least Aussies can still beat-off by the roadside to racy billboards like this totally-not-sexist one for a low-carb protein bar.

Australian Billboard

Tie a Flesh-toned Ribbon

Hollie StevensThe economy, the Republican candidates for nomination, birth control, abortion, immigration, gas prices, off-shore drilling, American Idol, and tom-ay-to or tom-ah-to: these are some of the highly contentious and controversial issues we all have to adopt a stance on sooner or later. Staunch opponents of the Left will shoot down “Obamacare” at any opportunity. The Right-baiting Occupy movement calls for a radical dismantling of America’s long-idolised super-rich elite. And Hollie Stevens has cancer.

“Wait, what? Hollie Stevens has cancer? Egads. Let’s just hope it’s not the titty cancer! It is? It is the titty cancer? Oh, fuck, we’re doomed.”

That’s right, folks, it is with much dismay that I, Mr. Pink, bring you news of the ailing health of the blonde clown-porn pioneer. Although Ms. Stevens, known as much for her kinky, adventurous clown-themed photoshoots as for her thick ass and predilection for shaking it all about, overcame her initial bouts with The Big C thanks to a life-saving mastectomy, but was soon felled once more by a terrifying diagnosis. The cancer had not only reappeared near the initial surgical site, but it had spread to her bone. Then, as told by Laura Lasky on a donation page she setup for Stevens at Give Forward, it was discovered that more tumors had reared their ugly heads in Hollie’s liver and right leg, and has “compromised her hip and leg as well as her chest wall and other breast.” After undergoing chemotherapy and radiation, Hollie was once again hit with an unfathomably daunting task, battling another instance of cancer that formed in her right sixth rib.

When others would have simply given up and let things lead to the ultimate conclusion, Hollie steeled herself for another session on the operating table. While certainly not the sunniest of forecasts for this supremely asstastic adult sensation, this Tweet from the hospital-saddled Hollie herself and dated April 6th, four days after her date with the scalpel, is anything to go by, her career could be back on track sooner than you think.

 

Donations can be made to aid Hollie Stevens’ recovery at Give Forward.

Bree Olson: Naked for Kony 2012

Alongside his father Nick, George Clooney was arrested last Friday outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C. during a protest organised to draw attention to Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir’s alleged bombing attacks on his own citizens, primarily in South Kordofan near Sudan’s border with newly independent South Sudan.

Like Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, former pornstar Bree Olson felt compelled to take action after hearing of the Kony 2012 protest movement, a largely online protest encouraging further U.S. efforts to arrest Joseph Kony, leader of Ugandan guerilla group the Lord’s Resistance Army. Having been made aware of Kony’s International Criminal Court indictment for war crimes and violations of the human rights of his fellow citizens, most of which have now been well documented on respectable websites, Bree decided to cavort around on the beach in Los Angeles, wearing next to nothing, and upload a video to YouTube. As you do.

Informing her viewers of Kony’s horrific crimes while providing some rather absurd eye-candy – check out Bree’s facial expressions as she smears muddy sand around her neck and that “is she stoned or serious” look she gives while walking alongside one of LA’s ubiquitous chain-link fences – Bree says she juxtaposed these images of herself with photographic evidence of Kony’s crimes because “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”

Hey, good for her, she got involved in a movement she cares about. And while many of Bree’s fans will be thrilled to ogle her one more time and might possibly read up on and even protest Kony’s crimes in their own way, they’re probably just pissed the ex-pornstar with a rather scary impregnation fantasy didn’t actually take it all off like the title of her video, Naked for Kony 2012, suggested.