Braun 4 Condoms

Axel Braun Wicked Pictures

Porn’s most acclaimed working director and the recipient of four AVN Awards for Director of the Year, Axel Braun, has followed his October 2013 decision to restrict his hired performers to those over the age of 21 with another major change to his blossoming Axel Braun Productions empire, namely the use of condoms and stricter STD testing.

Braun outlined his reasons for taking Wicked Pictures’ condom-only policy to his own studio to AVN: “The recent series of HIV outbreaks is a clear indication that something needs to be done in order to protect our talent pool and prevent this from happening again,” he said. Placing the safety of performers and his own integrity above his bottom line, Braun says the current system of STD/HIV testing is inadequate and needs adjustments such as his, saying “I have finally come to believe that our system is broken, and I’m simply trying to do what I can to fix it on my end.”

Another measure Braun is implementing to keep his sets as safe as possible focuses on the STD/HIV tests themselves. Current industry standards limit performers from working when they’re unable to produce a clean bill of sexual health less than 14 days old. Braun’s self-set standards will only accept tests no older than seven days, and if a performer cannot produce one Braun says he’ll pay for it himself. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to advocate performer safety and then ignore the most obviously effective STD/HIV barrier, or place the burden of additional costs on the very people I’m trying to protect.”

Axel Braun, you just may be someone’s hero today.

Amazon Nixes Pornstar Tributes

Now, I may be a light sex addict (or at least excessively aroused) but the thing that has me yearning for a career in porn isn’t the amount of sex I’d be having, nor the money I’d be making, nor all the weed I’d pilfer from my close personal friend Madison Ivy. By far the most appealing aspect of being an adult performer, the tendency for fans to indulge your material desires as declared by your Amazon Wish List, is what has me convinced I could be quite happy in porn. After all, there’s only so many trivial things I’m inclined to buy with my wages and it seems I’m not alone there. Adult performers both fledgling and superstar are seeing their Wish Lists come under scrutiny from Amazon’s higher-ups, echoing JPMorgan Chase’s recent closing of accounts belonging to adult performers. But, really, Amazon? The same site from which you can buy tinned unicorn meat, an infant circumcision training doll (with replaceable foreskins), Lil’ Ho Peep and Her (inflatable) Sheep, and a 55 gallon drum of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is preventing fans from buying their favorite adult performer gifts?

Tanya Tate

As reported by The Daily Dot, Amazon notified popular adult performer and cosplayer Tanya Tate of the reasons behind the closure only when she called to complain about her Wish List’s deletion. “They told me it was being used for ‘bartering purposes,’ because I’d written in the description, like, ‘Send me gifts and I’ll send you a thank you or pictures of me wearing this dress or lingerie.’” Pretty standard practice for adult models and webcammers, right? Well, not in the eyes of Amazon, who also saw fit to delete Tate’s Wish List when she re-added it to her profile sans-offending text, taking the rest of her account, gift card balances and all, offline in the process. Another phone call and an email to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos didn’t move the online retail giant’s position from a decidedly sex-negative one. “In my opinion, they were just refusing to allow to me have a wish list because I’m an adult star,” Tate told the Daily Dot. “There’s no reason for it other than discrimination…”

Tanya Tate wasn’t the only adult performer to have her Wish List dumped by Amazon. Cam model Emma Ink also saw hers disappear, but for slightly different reasons: the items on her list were deemed “inappropriate” by Amazon, the same store returning 400 pages of results for a basic “Dildo” search query. “These adult items are for sale on Amazon and one does not need to be logged in or provide any information to be able to view them,” said Ink. ““If Amazon finds sexuality or pornography objectionable, perhaps they should stop selling sex toys and pornographic DVDs.”

Obviously there’s more to this story than simply a company defending its terms of service, but just how aggressively are adult performers being targeted? Tune in next week as I dig deeper into this little drama that has pornstars, cam models, and fans in a minor tizzy.

Kenyan Fisherman’s Wives Predict Downfall of Big Dicks

Riley Reid Teens Love Huge Cocks

All those alpha males running around with visible bulges in their trousers, making women of all (adult) ages quiver with a mixture of excitement, intimidation, and overwhelming hunger and fucking up your chances to becoming Mayor of Pussytown are about to get their comeuppance. See, according to a study published earlier this month by PLOSOne entitled “Predictors of Extra-Marital Partnerships among Women Married to Fishermen along Lake Victoria in Kisumu County, Kenya,” the prevalence of infidelity among women (within a six month period) was 6.2%, and 95% of reporting women said they were prompted to engage in extra-marital frivolity because of (wait for it) their husband’s overly large erection.

Along with domestic violence, suspicion of a spouse’s own infidelity, and being denied their preferred sexual position, penis size was among the most commonly reported stated reasons or inductions to martial infidelity amongst these Kenyan communities. And, while you might be thinking, “Who cares? I’m not Kenyan, not a fisherman, and don’t have a giant god-like woody!” you’d be wrong to dismiss this study as inconsequential to your own life. After all, if you’ve ever been spurned by a woman’s cold shoulder simply because your own relatively inadequate manhood couldn’t stand up against another guy’s, your long-gestating revenge is at hand.

“Every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-half times. Women associated large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel,” research revealed, encouraging dismayed micropenises worldwide. One woman participating in the study revealed even more details. telling researchers “Some penis may be large yet my vagina is small, when he tries to insert it inside, it hurts so much that I will have to look for another man who has a smaller one and can do it in a way I can enjoy.”

Science, as everyone knows, is all “theories” and “research” and doesn’t amount to shit. But if it did, anyone with a chip on their shoulder concerning the size of their (and everyone else’s) penis and what it will or will not inspire in a prospective lifelong mate, any guys wishing the most physically blessed of us would stop stealing our thunder and, for once, be on the receiving end of something more severe that diminished blood flow and the occasional erectile problem, this here is the vindication he has sought! They may impress in the locker room and over a bar table of Appletinis, but a giant penis is more likely to leave its lover wanting something more manageable before too long. Whether or not you’ll be there to satisfy at a moments notice, however, is entirely up to you.

Nikki Benz for Toronto Mayor

The beautiful, stately city of Toronto hasn’t exactly been getting great press of late, but the reasons are largely the responsibility of mayor Rob Ford. After numerous controversies plagued the early days of his term, and as the result of a Toronto Police Service gang investigation, Ford was documented in multiple videos to be a roaring alcoholic prone to “drunken stupors” in which he has ingested, among other intoxicants, crack cocaine. Some mayoral powers were taken from Ford and granted to his deputy, but with Canadian law preventing his removal from office, Ford intended to not only ride out his remaining days as leader of Toronto City Council but to run for reelection in October ’14. He’s up against some pretty stiff competition, though, in the shapely form of Ms. Nikki Benz.

Nikki Benz

– “Torontonians need someone who understands, who exudes transparency, someone whose positions are easily read by their actions.” – Nikki Benz

Heavily loaded with double entendre and emblazoned with the Brazzers logo, Benz’s first bout of campaigning for the office of Mayor of Toronto details what she considers the most important issues facing residents of Toronto today. Transit is of paramount importance, she says, with her fellow Torontonians deserving “a smooth and easy ride encouraging [them] to get on and off as pleased,” a ride outfitted with vibrating seats (for the ladies) and self-cleaning sex toys (for the gents) for an enjoyable commute. Unlike her incumbent opponent Ford, Benz fully supports Toronto’s Gay Pride parade, and sees it as a great way to let everyone know that her city is an open-minded one that promotes equality year-round. (The video then shows Benz sucking face with Kristen Price, driving her LGBT support home.) National Masturbation Day is another topic of concern for Benz, one which she wants to be the basis for a city-wide holiday to focus on self-pleasure. “Orgasms make for happy, healthy people, not like other vices,” she told her constituents, oh-so-thinly-veiling an insult to His (drug-addled) Worship Mr. Ford. Check out Benz’s campaign video in full:

With Brazzers clearly behind the allegedly authentic campaign, it’s a bit hard to take Benz’s run totally seriously. But, hey, if she’s made believers out of TMZ, who am I to question the validity of Ms. Benz’s efforts. Who knows, perhaps soon her fellow Torontonians will accept that a pornstar running on a corporate-sponsored platform of tolerance, progress, and pleasure might just be a better fit for the city’s highest office than a compulsively dishonest drug-addicted alcoholic prone to impossibly bad decisions on and off the clock… but probably not. She’ll certainly try hard to convince them, though: “Torontonians, don’t you worry. I’m coming home and Nikki is going to make everything feel so much better!”