Porn Stars | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 107

Ms. Cleo

Caller??? Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week brings you Ms. Cleo.

First thing that came to my mind when I spotted the name of this thick ass honey was those hilarious late-night Psychic Readers Network infomercials featuring the “psychic” Miss Cleo. You know the one that claimed she was from Jamaica but was born in LA. I miss those infomercials.

Back to Ms. Cleo. I spotted Ms. Cleo on the Bang Bros Network site Brown Bunnies in an outrageous scene that is just as memorable as those Miss Cleo infomercials. Ms. Cleo stuffs her entire body and XL booty into a shopping cart and gets rammed, slammed, and stuffed by thick dicked Shorty Mac. Great stuff all around for all you guys out there who lust after phat ass fucking! MrPinks.com has awarded you, Ms. Cleo, with this weeks edition of Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week! Let’s go shopping!

Before Brazzers

You now know them as Juelz Ventura, Jessica Jaymes, and Phoenix Marie, but these delightful pornstar women once went by very different names and had very different appearances. Brazzers recently uncovered as part of their Before They Were Pornstars articles photos of these three cum-guzzling pornstars before they were sexual superstars in the world of hardcore pornography. Man, what a difference a few years (and a couple of saline sacks) can make!

In her High School days, a young Phoenix Marie was on the wrestling team and, while we don’t know exactly how good a wrestler she was, the training must certainly have equipped her for all the incredible anal pile-drivers, reverse cowgirl creampies, and ankle-earring enemas she’d perform after adopting her porno moniker. If only some conscientious studio would rope Ms. Marie into tumbling on the floor with another athletic pornstar, leotards, protective head-wear and all.

Juelz Ventura, now known for her hard rockin’ style – tattoos, piercings, jet black hair, and amped-up tatties – was once an apparently innocent blonde with a sunny disposition; kinda like an Orange County version of pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart, only much, much hotter. It’s hard to imagine such a sweet-looking girl would soon be getting gleefully stretched out by the likes of Shane Diesel, but there it is!

Before wreaking havoc on her male co-stars in some of the most blistering porn scenes in recent memory, Jessica Jaymes was causing mayhem of a very different kind in a very, very different environment: the New Mexico Military Academy. Even going so far as to go AWOL for some troublemaking down in Juraez, Mexico, the future Ms. Jaymes didn’t seem to fit army life and received more than her fair share of demerits, including a record number of marching tours for bad behavior. (That explains how her derrière came to be in such great shape, I guess.)

As Brazzers dig deeper and deeper into the former lives of your favorite pornstars, Mr. Pink’s can only imagine what they might uncover about such ZZ luminaries as Lisa Ann, Nikki Benz, Shyla Stylez, and Sienna West. Lemme guess, they had smaller tits?

Flying the Virgin Skies

I’m sure plenty of us have found ourselves sitting at the gate, laptop humming away, hoping the latest Bang Bros scene will hurrythefuckup and finish downloading before our boarding group is called, just to make a red eye flight that little bit more tolerable with a 3,000 foot bout of ‘bating. And now that some airlines are offering WiFi connections on some of their flights, the temptation to watch Bobbi Starr take on five big, black dicks while surrounded by strangers can be pretty damn hard to resist. Hell, even your humble reviewer, Mr. Pink, has scoped out some brand new scenes mid-flight just to beat a review deadline, but with American and Delta Airlines already blocking adult content on their in-flight connections, what is a horny Frequent Flyer to do?

Sure, you could occupy the lavatory accompanied by your iPad, but prepare for looks of suspicion and derision upon exiting. Yeah, there is a wannabe model in the second-to-back row who could be up for some action but she’s probably too pretentious to even consider joining the mile-high club. Of course, there’s always the stewardess; those charming and oh so helpful stewardesses. They are, however, working and very, very, very rarely (i.e.: never) fraternize with passengers, regardless of what Chanel Preston tells you.

So, what to do when you’ve got a hard-on that is only made worse by intermittent turbulence. Hey, here’s an idea – hold it in! It’ll make your return home or hotel arrival all the more relieving and if you’ve got a girl waiting for you on the other end, she’ll be extra pleased to have you back, fucking like a monster and shooting one of your heaviest loads!

The Tightest Women in Rock

Bree Olson - Tight

Just when you thought Bree Olson couldn’t possibly be featured on mainstream television any more than she already has – thanks largely to her stint as one of Charlie Sheen’s “goddesses” (read: polyamorous mistresses), which attracted the attention of TMZ, E! News and every other tabloid program on the tube – here comes more Bree on TV, but not in the context you might have imagined. Yes, Bree’s new reality show focuses on pornstars, but they’re not simply going about business as normal. No, Monica Mayhem, Labelle, Alicia Andrews, and Tuesday Cross are being fashioned into a four-piece rock band with Ms. Olson as their manager. As reported by Brazzer’s ZZ Insider, Bree and the gang were assembled by Canadian company Mind-Engine Productions, told to “Get in the van!” and launched on a US tour that had them playing very real gigs in front of very real audiences. As with all rock ‘n’ roll endeavors, though, things didn’t always go smoothly. Reports of infighting and mass alcohol consumption abound and the lead singer (Monica Mayhem) has apparently already left the group. The name of the show, ironically, is Tight and its 13 episodes are due to air on US TV come October, with various European airings to follow, with, of course, more visible tits and ass than the US version.

We all knew Bree would do something surprising and intriguing after leaving Sheen’s orgiastic household, but becoming the manager of a gang of pornstar Runaways? So, wait, Bree Olson is Kim Fowley?