Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 150

Updates with Angels

Evil Angel and Elegant Angel might share A-list pornstar talent, assloads of AVN Awards and an enormous global audience, but there’s stylistic differences that clearly mark them as separate and unique entities both making invaluable, if quite different contributions to the adult industry. For example: Evil Angel’s DVD covers are draped in crimson and black with metal flourishes and titles like Evil Anal and Ass Hysteria while Elegant Angel opts for a sleek and far more sedate white-and-pink treatment for Curvy Girls, Cuties, Asian Bombshells and other titles. Just see the latest announcements from each company and their differences will be confirmed.

Elegant Angel Names Bonnie Rotten ‘Squirtwoman’ @thebonnierotten @ElegantAngelxxx http://t.co/VsUZGpBvaD

— XBIZ™ (@XBIZ) March 17, 2014

Aiden Starr Joins Evil Angel Roster of Directors @evilangelvideo @aidenstarr http://t.co/SDLl8V40gy

— XBIZ™ (@XBIZ) March 14, 2014

Ok, so maybe they’re more alike than previously suggested. Bonnie Rotten, having been crowned the AVN Female Performer of the Year at January’s ceremony, continues her thriving career by taking up the honored mantle previously held by Cytherea and Jada Fire. And, strangely enough, squirting isn’t something Ms. Rotten even knew she could both do and enjoy before she started in porn, as she explains in this here interview:

Aiden Starr joining the ranks of Evil Angel directors makes about as much sense as Bonnie Rotten being appointed Squirtwoman, i.e.: plenty! After Belladonna, Bobbi Starr, and Dana Vespoli before her, Ms. Starr is another acclaimed female performer moving to the director’s chair under the guidance of John “Buttman” Stagliano’s crew. And, like those women before her, she’s making her first venture a rather risque one. Pussy Whipped, out April 16, sees a cast including Bella Rossi, Sarah Shevon, and Phoenix Askani join Starr for everything from egg-laying to prolapsed assholes to tentacle sex, with nary a (real human) penis in sight!

Two of the most fierce and unforgettable women performers making bold new steps in their careers, the results of which seem disproportionately beneficial to us, and people still want to maintain that porn is dying? Nonsense. I never doubt that I’m in the right industry, but clearly it’s these women who I should be working for!

Steaks & BJs: Because You’re Worth It

After hundreds of years of commercially co-opted romance made us guys slaves to our ladies on Valentine’s Day, one frustrated and under-appreciated guy did something about it. Starting out as a small grass roots movement to reserve an annual celebration of all men do to keep their ladies happy but soon becoming an international phenomenon, Steak and BJ Day has come a long, long way and now sees women around the world return to the stove-top or grill then drop to their knees in appreciation of their fellas.

Brazzers is arguably the most macho porn network on the ‘net and, true to its irreverent style, there’s a celebration going on at Real Wife Stories today, Steak and BJ Day 2014, that involves steak (obviously), fellatio (thankfully) and Madison Ivy’s marvelous devotion to dick. Standing on the set of her Cookin’ with Madison Ivy show, the Brazzers contract star professes her fondness for “fat, juicy steak” and encourages viewers to thoroughly “beat their meat” while bending over a counter, giving the crew a glimpse of her ass.

Offering the browned porterhouse to her producer husband only to be reminded of his veganism (read: emasculation), Madison denies his request for the BJ, telling us “Vegetarians are such pussies. I’m a carnivore and I like cock.” Brick, who has been manning the camera and stifling an erection, is called to the floor and fills the void left by his herbivorous superior. They chow down on the meat before she does on his, tossing her tiny, tight body around for full carnal effect.

If your Steak and BJ Day isn’t going according to plan, thank your preferred deity for Brazzers and Madison Ivy. (Oh, and that vegan dude, the husband she denied a blowjob? He stood by and watched his wife get plugged by some dude named Brick. What a pussy! Don’t be that guy!)

Bitcoin vs Goat

Having outlined the various adult entertainment companies now accepting payment via controversial cryptocurrency Bitcoin in a previous missive, I’m pleased to announce that we’ve covered the less hilarious parts of the discussion and we can now turn our attention to goats.

In a move that surprised everyone (except perhaps those lifelong goat herders who’ve spent hours upon hours attempting to elucidate their fellow man as to the appeal of Capra aegagrus hircus, the domestic goat), Zero Tolerance announced that it would not be joining the ranks of Bitcoin-adopting adult websites and, in fact, that it was far more likely to start taking and making payments in horned livestock than in any faddish cryptocurrency. And it kinda makes sense, too. After all, with the largest Bitcoin market offline (Silk Road).

As Zero Tolerance’s Michael Mpahlca declared in his pseudo-manifesto, “We have ‘Zero Tolerance’ for make-believe money that spikes or craters in value on an hourly basis. On the other hand, goats have proven to have real value for centuries and can easily be traded for other goods or services in just about every region of the world.” (So, goats rule in Vietnam then?) Mpahlca continued his missive: “When you look at the relevant livestock pricing index you can also quickly see that the goat market, unlike Bitcoins, moves for intelligible reasons grounded in logical and trackable analytics – something all prudent online adult companies take seriously in our planning.”

While the usefulness, even necessity of goats has long been thought to have an impending expiration date, this particular horned livestock has, according to AVN, “remained one of the most efficient methods of clearing fields, providing milk or calming other animals.” Mpahlca confirms ZTOD’s stance on payments made with goats in the final lines of his statement, easing the minds of affiliates and colleagues everywhere. “When someone sends their traffic to ZTOD, they will get paid every penny, euro, or goat they are entitled to – every time – and neither their hard-earned revenue no ours will be subjected to the rampant speculation and market fluctuation that plagues the Bitcoin world.”

Bleat that, Bitcoin!