Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 168

AVN 2013: The Big Winners Pt. 1: The Men

Now that the porn industry’s annual celebration of all things carnal has come to an end, it’s time to congratulate those who sucked, fucked, shot, or produced their way into the winner’s circle of the 2013 AVN awards, “the Oscars of porn”, and the one event every year that combines porn, comedy, music, and red carpet garment-ogling in one pretty package.

Notable men winning awards this year weren’t just those who show the world their penis on a near-daily basis. Arguably the biggest male winner was Graham Travis, director of 2012 AVN winner Portrait of a Call Girl. This year, Travis’ Elegant Angel feature Wasteland took home awards for Best Cinematography (Alex Ladd, Carlos D., Mason), Best Drama, and Movie of the Year, as well as Best Screenplay, Best Editing, and Best Director for Travis himself.

Axel Braun’s Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody nabbed awards for Best Art Direction, Best Parody – Comedy, Best Screenplay – Parody (Braun and Mark Logan), Best Selling/Renting Title of the Year, Best Supporting Actor (Tom Byron), Best Overall Marketing Campaign – Individual Project, Best Director – Parody for Braun (his first award in that particular category), and Best Director – Body of Work for Braun, his second in as many years.

Performers awarded trophies this year include Mark Ashley for Unsung Male Performer of the Year, Rocco Siffredi for Male Foreign Performer of the Year, Logan Pierce for Best Male Newcomer, and Steven St. Croix for Best Actor. The greater glory, that of the Male Performer of the Year went to James Deen, who in a gracious speech thanked “every director who hires [him]… any girl that will have sex with [him].” Deen also won for Crossover Star of the Year in a tie with Sunny Leone, and with one of the reasons for that accolade (Paul Schrader’s film The Canyons) inching closer to release, Deen’s star is only on the rise.

Viva la Chiva!

When online translation tools failed to give me a satisfactory English rendition of the phrase “chiva culiona” (the title of a Culioneros site) I turned to that last vestige of seemingly reliable knowledge: human contact. After calling a friend fluent in Spanish and conversational in Portuguese, I was still left with no translation. Could it be slang? Could it be a completely made up title that means essentially nothing? Nope, it just referred to public transportation.

Chiva Bus — Chiva Bus image courtesy of -Chupacabras-

The Chiva bus (also called Escalera [ladder] Bus) are brightly decorated artisan vehicles found in rural Colombia and Ecuador that transport residents around the towns and villages of the mountainous Andean region. Painted blue, yellow, and red like the national flags of the two countries that spawned them, these double-decker buses have remained an integral mode of transportation for the area, becoming a cultural icon in more recent years. (Hell, even Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz arrived at a New York Charlie’s Angels premiere atop a Chiva bus.) The unique structure of the Chiva bus allows for varying use: a roof rack supports luggage and goods, the usual absence of doors allows for quick boarding and alighting, and the intricate, hand-painted text and graphic designs give each bus a personal, communal touch rivaled in the United States by only one vehicle: the infamous Bang Bus.

It’s not just the elaborate hand-drawn designs and high occupancy that Chiva buses and the Bang Bus have in common: they’re both mobile porn studios that see the hottest, easiest women in Colombia and Florida, respectively, climb aboard to earn some money fucking random strangers. Chiva Culiona brings dozens of many-wheeled hardcore hookups your way in a distinctly Latin fashion, while the Bang Bus we all know and love keeps its wheels turning as it cruises around with an incredibly lucky guy or adventurous pornstar babe in tow for guaranteed adult entertainment gold.

A Very Brazzers Christmas & New Year

Never willing to be outdone by the competition, Brazzers has followed Naughty America’s lead in releasing its very own Christmas scene. Unfortunately for the infamous ZZ, Naughty America’s office-set four-way not only beat Brazzers’ version by launching on Christmas Day (not two days after Christmas), it also put Brazzers MILF-laden scene to shame with a cast of stellar performers of difference ages and sexual styles. Where Brazzers cast Krissy Lynn, Tanya Tate, Chanel Preston, and Nicole Aniston – all of whom are fine performers, by the way – Naughty America hired Lexi Belle, Brandi Love, Madison Ivy, and Veronica Avluv for a generation gap-bridging quartet that simply cannot be beat.

While missing the boat with (an admittedly quite strong) Christmas effort, Brazzers may have simply been waiting until another holiday rolled around, one constituting more familiar territory for the always-partying revelers behind the ZZ brand. That’s right, folks, Brazzers has unleashed a double-header to cure even the most severe New Year’s Day hangover. Nikki Benz and Alexis Ford square up against Manuel Ferrara and Keiran Lee in a Pornstars Like it Big scene so ribald it’ll have you waiting with bated breath as the girls become increasingly horny the closer it gets to the celebrated midnight hour. Meanwhile, over at Real Wife Stories, Brazzers tells of Vanilla Deville, a woman so sexually frustrated she needs the biggest party night of the year to finally realize her inner slut. Making a resolution to “meet new people and fuck more guys”, Vanilla certainly isn’t wasting the carnal opportunity of the year, not at a party with Johnny Castle and Erik Everhard in attendance.

So, dear reader, it seems Brazzers just isn’t the kind of company to throw everything into a scene celebrating the most over-celebrated holiday in the Western World and instead jumps at the chance to create pornographic parties that put even Hef’s to shame. Why not ring in the New Year with two choice Brazzers cuts?

Click here to see more Real Wife Stories!

A Naughty America Christmas Pt. 3

Before the arrival of that one day every year you’re not only allowed to stuff yourself full of delicious food but are given lavish gifts by your loved ones, Naughty America posted four scenes designed to have you Jingle Bell Rock-ing your cock like you never had before. Lexi Belle, Veronica Avluv, Brandi Love, and Madison Ivy each took turns to give their boss, Bill Bailey, rather salacious Christmas gifts, each one catering to his sexual desires better than the last. It took the arrival of December 25th for Bailey to get the biggest, most awe-inspiring gift of all, though, and it was a gift he shared with the rest of us.

Lexi, Brandi, Veronica, and Madison may have spent the days preceding Christmas fighting over raises, holiday bonuses, and who snagged their boss in the Secret Santa draw, but the holiday itself, a day of giving and receiving and the sharing of love, the four women joined forces to present their boss with a gift he’ll certainly never forget. After sitting around waiting for Bailey to show up to their office Christmas party, the girls all revealed their deep, dark secrets: that they’d each individually banged their superior. Throwing themselves into the Christmas spirit, the girls decide to launch themselves en masse upon Bailey’s cock as soon as he show up – and launch themselves they do. Unwrapping his presents one-by-one, Bill soon learns that the true meaning of Christmas doesn’t lie in the receiving of gifts, but in their giving, presenting his employees not with financial bonuses, but ejaculatory ones. Thankfully, they don’t seem to mind an iota.

If you’ve had your fill of the Christmas season – and I can’t say I blame ya – then Naughty America has another holiday treat in store for you, one that doesn’t involve red and white hats, tinsel, or sleigh bells, just Jenni Lee recovering from a NYE hangover by fucking the brains out of pizza delivery guy Johnny Castle. And to thank their loyal followers and members, Naughty America is offering a New Year’s special: one month of membership for just $14.95. Now that you know how, why not start the year off right?