I Like Big Butts and Science Knows Why!

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From Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’, people have been writing songs about women with large derrieres for decades, if not longer. Long assumed to be based purely on the increasing physical friction (and therefore pleasure) applied to a penetrating penis by the ample thighs and buttocks of a female with a thick rump, the male attraction to hefty behinds was so intriguing to graduate students of University of Texas at Arlington and Bilkent University in Ankara, Turkey they launched a study to determine the root of this persistent attraction.

Male participants in the joint study were asked to view 300 silhouette images of different women with varying degrees of spinal curvature and asked to rank them by attractiveness. Results found that the men found a curvature of roughly 45º – that is, the buttock line angling down from the spine at 45º – more appealing than other angles, lending credence to the idea that it’s the very size of the ass that determines its appeal. Dr. David Lewis of Bilkent University called the study’s findings “an independent and previously undiscovered standard of attractiveness.” He explained that such spinal curvature would have “enabled ancestral women to shift their center of mass back over their hips during pregnancy, a time during which there is a dramatic forward shift of their center mass.” It’s not all aesthetics and carrying babies in comfort, though, as Dr. Lewis explained. “Ancestral women who possessed this degree of lumbar curvature would have been able to forage longer into pregnancy and would have been able to carry out multiple pregnancies with a reduced risk of spinal injury.”

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So, next time you’re talking to a charming woman with a substantial behind and you feel like making a comment on its appeal, why not try “Excuse me, but how many offspring have you spawned and do you think you could handle another while finding me some snacks?” Go on, see how quickly she turns and shows your her amazing ass… as she leaves in disgust. Knowledge comes at a price, folks, especially in regards to sex.

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