Lingering Lust – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

So consider me an abnormal woman and maybe even a bit on the crazy side, but I have grown so tired of my boyfriend’s want to have hours of foreplay! You probably don’t hear that much, but now and then I would much more enjoy a quickie, I’m in the mood to do it, let’s do it and get it done, but he thinks if sex starts at 8 pm, it shouldn’t end until midnight or after. I’m tired of the diddling, I want it fast, furious and straight to the hardcore. Am I really that different from other women?

Lingering Lust

Dear Lingering;

I must admit, your complaint isn’t one to be heard on a daily basis while sharing pink drinks with your best gal pals on a Friday night. Most women would give their favorite handbag for a man that would be as attentive and romantic.

In trying to see both sides of the coin, it sounds as if you’re trying to make change in your relationship. Even though it’s simple enough to switch your brand of laundry detergent, or you opt for a bolder flavored mouthwash, when it comes to what happens in the bedroom, often routine and comfort, play such a huge role, any straying from the normal can knock your world off its axis.

Just like with any issue of disagreement in a relationship, the key is communication. I’m sure you don’t think twice in mentioning your car isn’t running quite right and you’re going to take it in for a tune up the following day, so, why not use that same approach when wanting a tune up to your intimate routine.

I have to say one thing, kudos to your boyfriend for being the dream of a high percentage of the female gender, most of the time women are left laying beside a snoring man that rolled over, shared a few thrusts, landed his dismount and resumed slumber before his side of the sheets had time to chill. And, in trying to be sympathetic to both sides, I can see where there would be times when you’re just not in the mood for extreme foreplay, you want to feel the closeness and the release, but in a more, caveman style of taking. No one has the same sexual urge every night of the week, wants are changed as often as underwear.

As I mentioned above, it’s time to have a talk, the tongue can be used for more than oral sex, so utilize it. Make a nice dinner, and let the relaxation surmount with each course, and then, as you’ve wiped your mouth with your napkin, then start talking a bit dirty from the cleaned surface. Use finesse , make sure your lover understands you appreciate his attentive nature and you’re not saying you don’t ever want to spend hours in play mode before going in for the delivery, it’s just there are times when your animalistic urges say, “Take me, take me now!”

Who knows, maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman before juicing and there could actually be those days when you’ve been on his mind all afternoon and he’d enjoy coming home, finding you bent over the dishwasher and just manhandle you with passion. There’s a lot to be said for hardcore pleasure, just as words aren’t few in the realm of intimacy either, the trick is finding the combination that works for you both, and I think this time, it’s best to let your lips do the talking instead of letting fingers do the walking.

Groupies Make Life Selector Interesting – Pt. 4

aftertheshow

After filling a reasonably large venue with cheers and not jeers, my band Beef Supreme were nowhere to be found, leaving me to wake up on a table surrounded by pills, butts, and bottles, wondering what hotel I ended up in and whether I’d slept past checkout time. Opening the door, I was greeted (and given a headache) by two screaming, bouncing groupies. Dude, I love groupies! I quickly signed their boobs only to be faced with the toughest decision of my morning so far: bang the blonde in the black dress or bang the blonde in the white fishnet top?

Since the girl in black was the only one I could understand as she and her friend gabbed a thousand praises and pleasantries upon meeting me, I choose her – and it only costs me 25 credits! With nothing to lose but my untarnished record for impeccable sexual health and the hangover currently doing a John Bonham on my noggin, I dove in and endeavored to prove to this sycophantic slut that I was no washed-up old rocker but a virile young stud loaded with enough sexual energy to rival Vince Neil or Izzy Stradlin at their best.

“I’m gonna make you horny even if you don’t want me,” she said as she laid back on my hotel bed, spreading her legs and placing two fingers… right… there. “What do you mean ‘if I don’t want you?’ I picked you, didn’t I?” I was clearly still drunk from last night’s after-party, so I decided to simply sit back and enjoy the show. After a minute or two, she reached back, grabbed an empty wine bottle and promised to show me something.

bottle

Uh, perhaps I better step in before she gives herself (and me) an infection.

doggy

After four minutes of pounding her from behind, I start to feel a familiar sensation rising from deep within me. Although she has offered to let me spank her ass, pull her hair, and stick in her rear, I instead opt to blow. After all, it’s not like I need to keep her around if I’m done with her, right? I must still be high as well as drunk, ’cause for some reason I nut in a half-full beer glass which she dutifully, gleefully downs in one gulp then heads for the door.

drink

Man, I could really get used to this rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle at Life Selector.

LA Weekly Names 10 Next Big Things

Veruca James
Veruca James – W.B. Fontenot

Los Angeles’ lauded free press staple, L.A. Weekly, has once again run some numbers, crunched some factoids, and come up with an intriguing assessment of the current state of porn. Or, more accurately, at what the current state of porn says about the future state of porn. And, to do so, it looked to the past, to Jenna Jameson.

Jenna Jameson was arguably the first bona fide crossover celebrity to bridge the gap between the adult and mainstream entertainment worlds. Although some earlier stars were more notorious within the contemporaneous culture (Linda Lovelace) and others managed to move from one industry to the other with some success (Traci Lords), it wasn’t until Jenna Jameson retired from performing in adult movies in 2008. Some thought it’d be the end of her career. Man, were they wrong! Fashion modeling, a New York Times Best Seller biography, PETA campaigns, and a budding media empire had Jenna’s profile higher than ever.

Now, L.A. Weekly offers its predictions as to who’ll be the next hot new thing to make waves in the mainstream, and the ten women they’ve selected share as many similarities as they have differences.

Who do you think will be the next pornstar to infiltrate to mainstream and eventually gain acceptance, nose-ring-wearing, hula-hoop-loving Remy LaCroix, the classically bottle-blonde and bodacious Alexis Monroe, 2013 XBIZ Award winning Best New Starlet Riley Reid, 18-year-old Floridian Staci Silverstone, former reality TV starlet and current UCLA student Tasha Reign, heavily tatted newcomer Bonnie Rotten, CPA-cum-alt.porn wunderkind Veruca James, 2013 AVN Female Performer of the Year Skin Diamond, former webcam model Lily Carter, or bubble-butted Annika Albrite?

Fuck to Play: Negotiating a Record Deal with Life Selector – Pt. 3

So, I’m trying to fuck band manager Simony Diamond and have her sign my garage band to one hell of a deal, but she’s reluctant. Why? ‘Cause I’m a godawful guitar player who jumps ahead, pulling out his dick when nothing positive, not even your most basic pleasantry, has been exchanged. Simony already rejected me once, but thanks to Life Selector’s resume/revise options, I can take a few steps back and adjust my tactics.

Instead of whipping it out as abruptly as Eddie Murphy does in Bowfinger when cornering those saucy Lakers Girls, this time I play it more cool, letting my fingers wander up Simony’s thigh. Now, this is clearly more her speed! Parting her legs and quickening her breathing, she’s reacting just as I’d hoped she would. I can’t stop there, though, not with a woman this incredibly seductive at my virtual fingertips. Life Selector presents a choice: a twix attack (two fingers, two holes) or grabbing a finger-sized vibe to help my would-be Svengali cum. Since I’m trying to land myself a killer deal and a platinum record or ten, I opt for the later. She cums hard, gasping for air as her thighs quiver. So far, so good.

Now she wants to, in the words of Dirk Diggler, “feel my heat”. I’m not even given an option here, it’s fuck or nothing, so I fuck. Missionary and doggy are my position options, but I can also fuck her anally, grab that vibe and make her cum again, or skip straight to my own climax; where’s the fun in that? Do I spend the eight additional token it’ll cost to butt-fuck this Hungarian rock exec? How do I know she won’t freak out and show me the door? I suppose I don’t and won’t unless I take the rear-passage plunge, so I dump my tokens and am instantly inside her ass, plugging away.

Strangely, this immediate leap to the next selected activity can make Life Selector feel less than truly interactive porn and more like a selection of clips that play at a moment’s notice, ’cause that’s exactly what it is. After pounding her ass for a while, I decide it’s time to blow this joint (so to speak) and hit the ‘Cumming’ button. Suddenly she’s not on her back but her knees and I’m not fucking her ass but her pussy. How did this happen? What smooth line did I attempt while turning her over? These are the little erotic treasures missing from Life Selector. Even if the life you desire is filled with impersonal romps with complete strangers who are just as likely to dismiss you as they are bend over and grab their ankles, don’t you want to experience the little things? Isn’t it just like Al Pacino’s Ricky Roma tells a client in Glengarry Glen Ross? That of the great fucks you may have had, the thing you remember probably isn’t your orgasm; it’s something her hair did, something she said… the things Life Selector seems to be missing.

Whatever the case, fucking Simony Diamond in the ass got me and my bandmates to our first show. Check out these adoring fans!

concert for Mr. Pink's

But with the burning need for mass adoration driving me back to the garage to practice and dream, what’s next for the guitar-slinging, groupie-fucking, Madison Square Garden-filling Mr. Pink?