Fred Willard: Busted for Beat-Off

Remember when Paul “Pee-Wee Herman” Ruebens was busted for masturbating in a Florida porn theater back in 1991 and how it all but ruined his career for a good eight or nine years? Well, Fred Willard, star of TV’s Fernwood Tonight and Modern Family, and films like Anchorman and Best in Show, is facing the same crisis of celebrity after also being found beating-off in Hollywood Tiki Theater, a theater screening adult movies, by LAPD officers.

Willard was arrested on July 18 after an LAPD officer conducting a “walk-through” in the theater allegedly found the comedian engaging in a “lewd act”. While many news outlets have been reporting the act as masturbation, plain and simple, Willard offered his version of events on Twitter.

The film in question? Well, at the time of his arrest Willard would’ve been watching one of three movies playing on a rotating schedule: Follow Me 2 (Evil Angel), Official The Client List Parody (Zero Tolerance), or Relax He’s My Stepdad 2 (Combat Zone). Instead of venturing out into (relative) public world to, uh, enjoy himself with a porn movie, perhaps Willard should’ve stayed home. That’s the sentiment behind an offer from Gamelink, an adult video-on-demand service; an offer of a lifetime supply of V.O.D. minutes and a free masturbator sex toy of his choice.

Man, maybe I should start beating off in theaters, too!

Charley’s Amazing Anal Debut

Elegant Angel - Charley ChaseWhen we shared the news of Charley Chase’s impending anal debut back almost a month ago to the day, all of us here at Mr. Pink’s knew the scene in question would be quality. After all, there are few pornstars as obviously in love with their work as Charley Chase. Watching her slide a ten-inch dick down her throat and manage a smile as she drools all over her own tits has been a marvel. Seeing her ride a parade of guys with more energy, consistency, and pure sexual power than any of her contemporaries (save perhaps for Asa Akira), has been a genuine treat in an industry so often regarded as humiliating, debasing, and misogynist. Charley Chase clearly loves her work, but the long lead up to her anal debut and the numerous setbacks she spoke of on her blog started to give us all reasons to think it’d never happen. Then the announcement came from Elegant Angel that Charley would not only open her previously unplundered rear passage in Big Wet Asses #21, she’d also grace the cover. Anticipation, dear reader, hit feverish new heights.

It would clearly be best for all concerned if you hustled over to Elegant Angel and caught a glimpse of Charley’s asshole in action, but let me tell you right now that it was absolutely worth the wait. Paired with Manuel Ferrara, who can only be called a master of anal inductions, Charley set the pace by leaping on top of the Frenchman, butt plug already firmly in place, and making out like a nympho in heat. Ferrara starts slapping her ass before Charley pulls back and lays one of her signature deepthroats on him. She looks up and establishes the magnificent eye contact the two maintain throughout the scene then tells Ferrara, “Your cock is mine. For whatever I want, wherever I want.” I won’t blame you if you don’t make it past this point, but what follows is not just one of the hottest and most authentic sex scenes of the year thus far, anal or otherwise, but easily Charley’s most voraciously carnal scene and quite possibly one of the greatest butt-fuck extravaganzas since the advent of Internet porn. Hyperbole, be damned!

Still need convincing? Any scene that sees Charley Chase go from the glamorous model with bedroom eyes to the quivering, sweating, panting pile of spent sexual energy you see below is more than a worthwhile viewing, it’s downright essential.

Charley Chase

Now, Charley just has to fulfill her promise to bring plenty more anal to her official website, where I’m sure fans are already salivating in anticipation. Hell, Charley probably is, too!

Riley Steele Bows Out

Riley SteeleIn the second shock announcement from the Digital Playground camp in two days, Riley Steele has joined her fellow DP contract performer BiBi Jones and left not just DP, but the adult entertainment industry altogether.

After being urged by Jesse Jane to enter the adult industry at a signing for the best-selling Pirates release, Riley Steele (born Brittni Anne Palmer in 1987), jump headlong into her new career by signing an exclusive contract with the studio that produced Pirates, Digital Playground. From her first role in that film’s sequel, Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge in 2008 to a gig co-hosting the 2011 AVN Awards and even supporting roles in TV series Life on Top and Adult Swim’s NTSF: SD: SUV, it seemed Riley was made for life in front of the camera, preferably without clothes. Then, only a few days ago, she followed Jones in announcing her retirement. Citing unfulfilled promises from the industry, a tearful Brittni Palmer took to MobyPicture to post a brief video explaining the reasons for her departure.

Where this leaves Digital Playground, now without two of its biggest stars, remains to be seen. Whatever the case, we here at Mr. Pink’s wish the former Riley Steele all the best in her new career and new life, but, with AVN Awards for 2011 Crossover Star of the Year, all four 2012 fan-voted categories, and a burgeoning mainstream entertainment career, it’s hard to imagine she’ll stay hidden for long.

TSA Saves Airline Passengers from Huge Dick

A rather odd tale of air travel security popped up on Huffington Post this week, telling of a man who was temporarily detained and question by TSA agents after they detected an abnormal, uh, package in his trousers.

Jonah Flacon

Brooklyn’s Jonah Falcon, an actor with uncredited roles in such films as Death to Smoochy, City by the Sea, The Good Shepherd, and A Beautiful Mind, was slowly making his way through a security checkpoint at San Francisco International Airport on July 9th when a TSA agent noticed the prominent bulge in his pants and decided it was time to pull out that ol’ “Sir, that cock is weapon,” line. Only the agent was unaware of who he was dealing with. Falcon is, after all, the owner of the world’s largest recorded penis. At 13.5″, Falcon’s member was even large enough to cause the rumor mill to falsely claim his father was none other than porn legend, John Holmes.

Falcon told HuffPo that he had packed his own belongings carefully “to the left” and that he wasn’t erect “at the time”. After an agent inquired as to the contents of his pockets, Falcon admitted that they were empty. The next step was to haul Falcon and his hidden anatomical marvel into an x-ray body scanner and through a metal detector. Still puzzled, another agent of the TSA asked Falcon if he had some kind of abnormal growth. The agents even applied some powder to Falcon’s pants in order to detect whether or not the mysterious package was of a threatening nature. Eventually giving up the search for answers, the agents set Falcon off to his gate, where he made his flight without delay.

Now, this could be a thoroughly embarrassing situation for any number of reasons, but for Falcon, it was a laughable affair and a lesson he’ll take with him on all future travels. “I’m just gonna wear bike shorts from now on,” he said. “That way they’ll know. You’d think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not.”