Celebrities | Mr. Pink's Blog

American Dad! XXX-Style!

On September 14, Paradox Pictures and Exquisite Films will release one of the most hotly anticipated parody porn titles of the year, American Dad XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody. An explicit adult reinterpretation of Seth MacFarlane’s much-loved animated comedy, American Dad XXX stars Andy San Dimas, Tasha Reign, Yurizan Beltran, Angelina Valentine and, as the Steve Smith, head of this bizarre family unit, legendary porn actor Evan Stone. The response from fans during the build-up to the titles release has been extraordinary, with the entire first print run of the DVD being snatched up by pre-orders. The YouTube trailer alone has been viewed more than 140,000 times, proving that if any parody title has a shot at eclipsing Lee Roy Myers’ A Wet Dream on Elm Street, it’s this parody of a contemporary cartoon classic starring a horny Alien, an agent, an ultra-liberal hippy chick, and a goldfish with the brain of an East German Olympic ski jumper.

James Franco’s Kink.com documentary

After praising adult performers for their acting abilities while in the company of such socially acceptable thespians as Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, and Annette Bening at Newsweek’s ‘Oscar Roundtable’ discussion back in January 2011, Hollywood renaissance man James Franco recently announced that an upcoming documentary project would focus on a man named Peter Acworth, best known to Mr. Pink’s readers and horny fellas everywhere as the founder and lead producer of a little company called Kink.com. Housed in the historic San Francisco Armory, Kink’s dungeons, cellars, ballrooms, dining halls, and bedrooms have hosted a virtual who’s who of top-tier pornographic talent from Amy Brooke to Charley Chase, Sasha Grey to Faye Reagan. In late June, a now-deleted tweet from Kink regular Rain DeGrey said Franco was in the house and attracting lusty stares from all the girls; business as usual for the 33-year-old actor, author, director, painter, producer, screenwriter, NYU professor, and perennial student.

With Kink.com’s continually evolving slate of fetishistic online endeavors as his palette – websites Hogtied, Water Bondage, Sex and Submission, Bound Gang Bangs, Everything Butt, and Men in Pain included – whatever Franco and his crew come up with is sure to be an intriguing look into one of porn’s most exciting and groundbreaking production entities.

Oh, and what else has Franco been up to lately? Why, starring in a movie called Cherry, described as “A drama centered on a troubled young woman who moves to San Francisco, where she gets involved in pornography and aligns herself with a cocaine-addicted lawyer.” In a hardcore version of Diablo Cody’s rise to screenwriting prominence, Cherry is based on a screenplay written by none other than Lorelai Lee.

The Dash for Celebrity Skin

Dash Direct, a prominent UK-based designer and manufacturer of women’s lingerie has unveiled the results of extensive research conducted in an effort to figure out, once and for all, exactly what the perfect British celebrity babe looks like. Not content with merely listing the leading contenders, Dash Direct decided to mimic the efforts of Shelley’s Dr. Frankenstein and combine the most attractive parts of some of the UK’s top female celebs into three absolutely “perfect” women they dubbed Chelily Brooxon, Lorrea Gallian, and Kathlette Zeta Bux. “What the hell kinds of names are they?” you ask. Well, Chelily is a combination of Kelly Brook’s breasts, Alesha Dixon’s legs, and the derrierre of Rachel Stevens, while the other two fictional beauties are further amalgamations of women only our UK readers might have heard of.

But what, dear readers, of the American equivalent? What if Hollywood decided, kinda like in that 2002 movie S1m0ne, to create a celebrity out of the most attractive body parts of our favorite stars? While your results and mine might differ – is there anyway we can work Fran Lebowitz’s wit and Jenny McCarthy’s dedication to stamping out autism in there? – it’d be great to have an All-American equivalent to these largely British creations.

Whose ass, legs, breasts, torso, face, features, and hair would you combine to create the ultimate celebrity babe?