One Dick, Two Dick, White Dick, Black Dick – Sasha Grey Reads

Sasha Grey“There once was a dog named Hally, who lived with the Tosis family. Hally Tosis was very  good dog, but she had a big problem. Hally Tosis had horrible breath. Whenever Hally Tosis opened her mouth, horrible things happened.” This excerpt from Dog Breath by Dav Pilkey doesn’t just tell the story of a stinky-mouthed pup, it also tells the story of pornstar Sasha Grey. No stranger to controversy – this is, after all, the woman who, in her first hardcore scene, requested a mid-coital punch to the stomach – Ms. Grey last week landed herself in rather hot water by giving a performance of a notably different kind: reading to the students at Emerson Elementary in Compton. Parents who learned of Ms. Grey’s porn past complained to the Emerson PTA, who subsequently contacted the principal. After a school spokesperson flatly denied that Ms. Grey was even present at the reading, photos surfaced online at TMZ showing the tastefully dressed multiple AVN Award winner reading Dog Breath to a floor full of students. Sprung!

Amidst the chaos that followed these revelations, both in the Emerson and greater Los Angeles school communities, on tabloid media sites, and across the pornosphere, were indignant calls for Grey to withdraw from the reading program. Apparently unwilling to do so, Grey insists that porn is her past and that she is now focusing her attention not on double-penetrations and blowbangs, but on solidifying her career as an author (Neu Sex), musician (aTelecine), and mainstream actress (Entourage). She seems intent on fashioning herself as a provocative, intellectual, pseudo-feminist artiste. Who but a serious intellectual could fashion a modest and humble response to the Read Across America debacle containing such ready-made pull quotes as “I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner,” and “I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am. I will not live in fear of it. To challenge non-profit education programs is an exercise in futility, counter-productive and anti-educational.”

You go, grrrl.

Dave Attell’s Showtime Circle Jerk

Dave's Old PornComedian Dave Attell has never tried to hide parts of his personality that some might view as, well, decadent. On his show Insomniac (2001-2004), Attell wandered around various US cities during the moonlit hours, drank booze in bars and clubs, and met fellow nighthawks, most of them the kinds of folks TV execs wouldn’t want anywhere near a prime-time slot. When I was fortunate enough to attend a taping of the resurrected Gong Show in The Entertainment Capital of the World, Hollywood California a few years back, Attell, taking Chuck Barris’s place as the host/ringmaster, would spend shooting breaks standing in the wings chain-smoking and looking less than thrilled with bumbling crew members.

Now, with his second gig hosting the annual Adult Video News (AVN) Awards in Las Vegas coming up in January of next 2012, Attell’s connections to the porn world are only growing stronger. But, hey, the guy’s an old pro when it comes to fuckin’ on film. Just check out his current Showtime jaunt, Dave’s Old Porn. Digging back into the VHS archives from porn’s Golden Age, the 1970s and early ‘80s, Attell and his guests (Whitney Cummings, Adam Carolla, Chelsea Handler and other mildly humorous celebs) give running commentaries while showing some of adult cinemas greatest and crummiest titles, from The Devil in Miss Jones to Ultra Flesh. Porn veterans Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy, Belladonna drop in to give a professional’s perspective on some of the cheesiest dialog, most bizarre plots, and (presumably) least attractive hairstyles even seen on the small screen.

Halloween Hoochies and Costumed Coochies

Halloween has come and gone for another year, leaving us full of candy, a little headachey from one too many Corpse Reviver cocktails, and sick to fucking death of Bobby “Boris” Pickett. So, how best to wind down in the days following everyone’s favorite costume ‘n’ candy holiday? By judging a costume contest, of course! After much deliberation amongst our judges – that’d be my artistic sensibilities and my libido – Mr. Pink’s is proud to present our three finalists for Best Costumed Pornstar for Halloween 2011.

Pornstars seem to love getting all gussied up for Halloween and this year was no exception. At Naughty America, Julia Ann decked herself out in a genie costume, fulfilling many a viewer’s wish as she went to town on Michael Vegas’ dick-in-a-box.

Julia Ann

This year, Joanna Angel’s annual Halloween production was a filthy yet funny reinterpretation of the classic horror story, Frankenstein. Decked out in, well, barely anything really, Joanna lit up the black-and-white screen as the Bride of Frankenstein, complete with an incredible two-tone bouffant hairdo!

Joanna Angel

Our last contestant comes from a country that celebrates Halloween, or “Alla Helgons Dag”, for a full week, putting our one night of lunacy to shame. Buxom Swedish goddess Puma Swede sure knows how to party, throwing on a supremely slutty nurses uniform, jumping in the Bang Bus, and cruising around for cock, gobbling up every testicular treat thrown her way.

Puma Swede

There can, of course, be only one winner and this year it seems clear that the pornstar who put the most effort, creativity, and enthusiasm into her costume was the one and only Joanna Angel. If ever there was a pornstar made for Halloween-themed smut, it’s Joanna. Head on over to Joanna’s official Burning Angel site now and scope out her absurdist horror-porn masterpiece, Fuckenstein!

Halloween Roundup Part 2

Jessie AndrewsIn yesterday’s spooktacular installment of Mr. Pink’s Blog you read about Brazzers, Bang Bros, and Reality Kings’ attempts to creep you out while keeping you hard this Halloween. Now that The Big Three are outta the way, it’s time to delve even further into this year’s carnal celebrations with sites that cater to, well, a more refined clientele.

It seems only fitting that the masters of domination and subjugation, Kink dot com, would render a highly decadent take on Halloween with Mistress Bobbi Starr and the enslaved Tara Lynn Foxx. On Kink’s anal-focused site, Everything Butt, we find “Anal Haunting” a scene loaded with punishing rectal penetrations, anal stretching and gaping, and extremely potent rough sex. Imagine being Tara this Halloween, awoken from your coffin to a steel dildo-wielding Bobbi Starr! That’s enough to scare the bejeezus outta anyone!

Over at My XXX Pass, relative porno newcomer Jessie Andrews throws on a black and blue wig, sets her pumpkin pail down, and gorges on the biggest sucker she could find: a thick, long, and very stiff dick. Taking it so deep she fully earns her place in Throated’s Halloween update, Jessie gags, spits, tears up, and even tries to talk with her mouthful. Who taught you table manners, girl? Cannibals?!

Still with the orally fixated, the delightfully erotic Camille Crimson might not seem like the type to puke mid-blowjob, soiling her kinky Supergirl costume, that’s because she has perfected The Art of Blowjob. Offering something unique to her fans this Halloween, Camille refuses to take her lover’s cock in her mouth, instead stroking his shaft with licking and sucking his balls as if they were Everlasting Gobstoppers. As he inevitably blows, you’ll surely realize that Camille’s manual and oral skills alone aren’t responsible for his excitement – she’s wearing a pumpkin-orange slip so thin it’s practically see-though. That’d be enough to have any guy aching for some suction!

Quite possibly the most accomplished producer of spooky concept porn is the rather ironically named Joanna Angel. After winning the AVN Award for Best Web Premiere in 2011 for her Halloween parody, Dong of the Dead, this Burning Angel celebrates Halloween ‘11 with the ambitious Fuckenstein! Joanna’s eerie black-and-white parody of the original monster movie stars James Deen as Dr. Frankenstein, Ramon Nomar as The Monster, and Ms. Angel herself as The Bride, complete with lightning-strike bouffant hairdo. The major difference in this version of Mary Shelley’s classic horror tale, of course, is that The Bride takes a double-teaming from The Monster and his creator. A far cry from the social commentary of the original, sure, but a damn sight sexier!

Keep your third eyes peeled, dear readers, ‘cause if more horrific horniness hits the WWW before midnight of the 31st, “Putrid” Mr. Pink’s will have the complete, skin-scorching lowdown. Goreanteed!