Mr. Pink's | Mr. Pink's Blog

Happy Horny Holidays! Pt. 1

With Christmas rapidly approaching, you’re not doubt stressing over gifts for loved ones, meal preparations, what to do if you run out of beer on the 25th, and how to avoid your Father-in-law’s constant belittling of your career choice and financial stability (or lack thereof). Thank ol’ Saint Nick the greatest porn networks of the WWW have started celebrations a little early by providing you with Christmas-themed hardcore scenes that take the edge of the all-too-common holiday season blues. Here’s a rundown of what you’ll find on the ‘net’s smuttiest domains:

– Brazzers kicked things off with a bang on December 20th on Teens Like it Big, where you’ll find gorgeous young Lexi Bloom sitting on Santa’s lap and feeling something press against her thigh. Soon enough, Lexi receives a very special face-covering gift from ol’ Saint Nick! Over at MILFs Like it Big, black-haired, busty scrooge, Lesley Zen is taken to task by Keiran Lee for her lack of Christmas spirit.

– Reality Kings serves up a solid pair of holiday-themed fuckfests, the first of which is on lesbian site We Live Together. Bree Daniels, Sammie Rhodes, and Chloe Lynn agree to exchange presents early, but Bree and Sammie race ahead and try out their brand-new dildos on Chloe before she even has a chance to unwrap her gift. Euro Sex Parties keeps it festive with Rebbeka and Vanessa Gold distracted from their tree decorating by two guys bearing presents of a highly unusual nature.

– Not to be outdone by those zany Europeans, the Naughty America team have already thrown up one fantastic Christmas scene on their Naughty Office site, with another one, this time for My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend arriving on the 23rd. The former stars newcomer Paige Turnah as an office drone who giddily drags her studly co-worker away from the Christmas party for some private celebrations; the latter sees a unfathomably sexy Ms. Claus (Nicole Aniston) double-teamed by two studly elves when they’re supposed to be helping her cart toys to an orphanage.

Now, if only you get that WiFi-enabled tablet computer you asked for, you can escape to the bathroom when it all gets too much, lock the door, and vicarious plunder the pussies of Santa’s foxiest little helpers while your family muses about whether potato salad should or should not include bacon bits.

Party Like a Pornstar!

Mr. Pink’s already told you about one of the years most inviting parties that took place on Labor Day. Thrown by LA Direct Models talent agency and Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network (AEBN), the Labor Day Extravaganza was hosted by Kristina Rose and Alexis Texas and was one of the hottest tickets in Hollywood. Now, as we approach Christmas, the same folks are putting on another big fuckin’ bash. It’s all about fuckin’ partying hard with LA Direct and AEBN, and when the event is due to be hosted by Misty Stone and Priya Anjali Rai, two of the hottest “ethnic” women in porn – apparently anyone who isn’t white is “ethnic” – you can be sure there’ll be a throng of attentive attendees in attendance, dancing their pants (and hopefully panties) off.

If you fancy yourself the Leisure Suit Larry of the LA porno scene, why not RSVP and reserve a spot on the dancefloor next to Misty Stone’s tight-as-hell bootay! Reservations can be made by calling 310-749-9029, but you better hurry, it’s on this coming Saturday, December 17th from 10pm to 2am or whenever you get kicked out for obscene conduct.

The Rise and Fall (and Rise) of Janine

In July of 2009, Janine Lindemulder, pornstar extraordinaire and the nurse on the cover of Blink-182’s Enema of the State album, was released from prison after spending four months of a six month sentence for tax evasion. Once again back in the free world, Lindemulder devoted most of her time to seeking custody of her daughter with West Coast Choppers founder, Jesse James. Finally awarded full custody of Sunny earlier this year, it appeared things were finally turning around for the one-time queen of tattooed porno sluts. What next, though, for this hard living, hard fucking 43-year-old?

Issuing a press release claiming to have not seen her daughter in five months after James was again granted full custody and moved to Texas, the aggressive Janine seems to be back on the warpath seeking not only visitation rights to Sunny, but attention from media outlets, too. The press release goes on to state that “Janine is returning to the adult industry,” and wants to reveal “her side of the story that involved sex, scandal, celebrity, prison, the custody of a little girl and what the future holds [for Lindemulder herself.”

Does this mean we’ll be seeing the Amazonian rocker slut back in the on-screen saddle again sometime soon? Let’s hope so. The “alt.porn” stars of today could learn a thing or two from a woman who simply refuses to give up and let some Sandra Bullock-bonking, reality TV show-starring, hog-straddler steal her thunder!

Kelly Madison’s 900th Scene

Genuine milestones are rarely appreciated in the adult industry, with accolades instead going to a female performer’s first anal or double-penetration scene. A few months ago, however, Kelly and Ryan Madison reached their 400th Porn Fidelity episode and celebrated with Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Yurizan Beltran, McKenzie Lee, and Samantha Saint in a seven-person scene entitled ‘The Bangover’. Porn’s most notorious married couple didn’t stop there, however. This week saw Kelly’s main site, Kelly Madison dot com, add its 900th scene!

Having been active online for over ten years now, it makes sense that Kelly’s site would end up with such a huge collection, but, man, NINE HUNDRED SCENES, all of them exclusive and originally created by Kelly & Co. – that’s certainly an achievement to be proud of. So, how did Kelly celebrate this particular milestone, you ask? Well, she grabbed her dear darling husband, Ryan, and threw him into the middle of a three-girl sandwich with herself and two other mega-busty blonde sluts. Shooting a load on each set of undulating breasts – three loads; whatta man! – Ryan seems to be getting all the gifts whenever he and Kelly throw a party. Not only is Kelly Madison an AVN and XBiz Award winner, she’s a devoted wife, an awesome lay, and one heck of a sweet gal.

Here’s to 900 more!