Pokémon Porn Persists

Pornstar Go: a XXX Parody

Since its July 6 release, augmented reality game Pokémon Go has captured the imaginations (and free time) of millions of players worldwide. As Mr. Pink’s reported to you last week, the game has also captured the imagination of pornographers both amateur and pro. After we previously noted Pokémon-themed porn efforts from Team Skeet’s Exxxtra Small and Teen Pies, RK (Reality Kings) Prime, and Cosplay Babes, another wave of Poké-porn arrived to further milk the world’s reigning gaming trend.

Arguably the king of porn parody mountain, Brazzers didn’t spare any costuming expenses for its Pornstar Go: a XXX Parody production, the results of which went live on Monday. Replacing the super powered pocket monsters with magical pornstars who vanish from porn sets across the valley, Brazzers has Spanish newcomer Jordi El Niño Polla hunting for Ella Hughes, Patty Michova, and Alexa Tomas in an effort to return them to their rightful homes at Brazzers HQ. A trio of women this irresistible shouldn’t need any extra incentive to pursue, but once captured, they reveal their true animalistic intentions.

Taking a less fantastic angle on Poké-porn, Bryan Gozzling’s Hookup Hotshot site brought to our attention a skinny raven-haired Ivy Aura. Keeping with Gozzling’s social media focus, Ivy is recruited to accompany our host on some Pokémon Go hunts only to find he’s far more interested in fingering her asshole, urinating in her mouth, and unloading his seed onto her expectant face – and they don’t even get around to catching any Pokémon!

While it’s unlikely this is the last of the Pokémon parody porn coming your way in this time of near-global Poké-fever, it’s clearer than ever that a pop-culture phenomenon doesn’t require any greater inclusion in porn than a brief reference made by jaw-dropping new starlet. (But hey, check out Ella Hughes in costume – that sure doesn’t hurt!)

Brazzers review

Poké-men dig Strokémon

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Quit Pokémon Go for just a second and check this shit out! Not only has the latest iteration of the pocket monster phenomenon led to a larger game playing audience than any earlier Pokémon release, it has sparked a worldwide obsession that has Wall Street bankers and McDonald’s workers on the picket line both using their smart phones to ensnare the little digital critters. Even adult webcam performers leapt onto the Pokémon Go bandwagon, using cosplay and screen-sharing to enjoy the game with their fans. Now, naturally, it’s the mainstream porn world’s turn.

RK Prime, a newish Reality Kings site with no clear premise, unleashed its Pokémon parody on July 30th, an outdoor scene that saw Xander Corvus on a hunt for “Pikapuss” (Annika Eve in her second scene) and, upon finding her, fills her mouth beneath a tree then pulls her inside to slide into her yellow-outfitted snatch as she cries “Pika! Pika!” in pleasure.

Team Skeet also joined in the fun with a pair of Poké-focused scenes for Exxxtra Small and Teen Pies and starring Freya Von Doom and Cece Capella respectively. Freya arrived first, landing July 28th in her bright yellow “Pikahoe” outfit, ducking and dodging an eager trainer before respawning in his living room and exposing her very much pink and human orifices. For a change of pace, Cece Capella laid around in her Teen Pies scene, staring at a Pikachu plushie and daydreaming about catching one of her own. After dozing off, Cece wakes up to a real, living, already erect (but curiously human male) Pikachu who proceeds to bring her Poké-fucking fantasies to life.

You would think that with Pokémon Go roaring up the app charts and distracting every second pedestrian under the age of 55, this would be the prime Poké-parody era but, really, all three of the above listed scenes were outdone months and months ago by two distinctly different takes on the gaming phenomenon. Back in January of 2015, Cosplay Babes had busty British wonder Harmony Reigns dress up in her best Ash cap and grab her Pokéballs for an interracial hardcore fuckfest. It’s WoodRocket, the comedy-porn hybrid studio started by Lee Roy Myers, that still rules the porno Pok é-parody roost, though, thanks largely to the studio’s devotion to absurdity. Starring Rizzo Ford as Dikachu, a squirt-shooting female monster whose trainer, Gash (Tyler Nixon) carries quite an impressive package. Badly acted with questionable costuming and even a rather dire script, Strokémon takes the cake because it pushes further than simple cosplay and reimagines the Pokêverse as an utterly perverted playground for all kinds of sexual creatures, human and otherwise, without getting too close to some bizarre fucking fantasies. Dikachu might not look like an electrified rodent exactly, but you wouldn’t confuse her for 100% human either.

There’ll no doubt be more Poké-themed scenes and parodies on the horizon now that Pokémon Sun and Moon has been announced, so keep a beady eye trained at Mr. Pink’s for more info and analysis as they appear.

Brazzers Goes Parody Mad

Brazzers porn parodies

Brazzers, a porn studio long known for its colorful, irreverent approach to sex, is also no stranger to the porn parody, now a staple of most mainstream porn viewing habits. Recently, though, “The ZZ” has been outdoing itself when it comes to pop-culture homages, lampoon, tributes, and outright parodies, so I thought we’d take a look at what’s been causing Brazzers-fans to chuckle through their fap sessions of late.

So far 2016 has seen the X-Men, Spider-Man, Star Wars, World War Z, and Games of Thrones properties among those getting the hardcore ZZ treatment. Where the porn parodies of the 80s and 90s were largely low-budget affairs, Brazzers joins the likes of Axel Braun in throwing money at their parodies to bring fans explosive sex as well as literal explosions and other FX. Storm of Kings takes Game of Thrones and recasts it with slightly fewer dragons and vastly more whores (Peta Jensen, Aletta Ocean, Anissa Kate, and underutilized Aruba Jasmine starring) across four episodes.

XXX-Men didn’t garner more than two scenes, but they were well worth stopping by Pornstars Like it Big for back in late May. Nicole Aniston donned the blue bodypaint and red hair to play Mystique to be tag-teamed by Wolverine (Charles Dera) and Cyclops (Xander Corvus) after first we saw Patty Michova’s Psylocke undeniably attracted to Danny D’s Magneto dick. That might seem like a light treatment by ZZ, but there’s bound to be more X-Men movies ahead to provide even more ultimate cosplay porn.

Brazzers stuck with Marvel Comics, their clear favorite, for a while, bringing The Cat’s Meow to Brazzers Extra also in late May. Two Brazzers newcomers were introduced as Peter Parker/Spider-Man and his nemesis/fuck-buddy The Black Cat. Diminutive but big dicked Spanish 22-year-old Jodri El Niño Polla and Austrian Mila Milan filled the roles and costumes very nicely.

Apparently finding it hard to stay away from superheroes and science-fiction, Brazzers also ran Star Wars and World War Z through their parodical mash-up machine, the later being adding to over many months and now serving up six episodes starring Phoenix Marie, Peta Jensen, Tommy Gunn, and Ramon Nomar in the latest installment from April of this year. Timed to coincide with the release of The Force Awakens, Brazzers’ latest Star Wars parody was hardly the first to come from the porn world, but it featured Abby Cross as “Princess Lay” (slave outfit an all) and housecock Danny D as Boba Fuck, making it just as hard to resist as “TFA” was to the world at large.

Expert costuming and creative, colorful photography has really guided these more recent Brazzers parodies to all-new levels of faithful homage while mixing in that ol’ Brazzers standard style of colorful, hyperactive hardcore. We can only wonder what’s next on the agenda. Although by the looks of the upcoming Brazzers release schedule, this studio’s future already looks busy-as-hell. How the ZZ creative crew will find time to hit the multiplex is beyond me!

Ronda Rousey’s Slippery Sex Tips

Ronda Rousey

She may be one of the most Googled female athletes in recent memory, and world champion in her chosen sport, a Hollywood player with mainstream movie cameos, and now the author of a sex and dating advice column for men’s mag Maxim, but Ronda Rousey probably shouldn’t be dispensing sex tips or criticizing others practices until she’s learned a few things about the variability of human sexual response.

Telling Maxim reader “Jack, 36, Los Angeles” that using lubricant is a sign of sexual inadequacy, impatience, and disregard for a woman’s arousal is just plain irresponsible. Italicizing her response because she’s so damn sure it’s correct, Rousey says “You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy.” So every post-menopausal woman who suffers from vaginal dryness has a lazy lover? Those couples dealing with sexual anxiety or a disconnected physical response or under the haze of a nice strain of cannabis sativa might also find the lower regions a little less moist than your average folks.

Though the idea that any guy reaching for a tube to lube his partner isn’t taking his time has an iota of validity, there’s always those guys and couples who prefer longer bouts of intercourse, something lube no doubt helps extend without rawness and irritation ruining an epic coital congress. And then, Ms. Rousey, there’s the marvelous world of anal intercourse, something that would hardly be comfortable enough to pursue without the aid of additional lubrication.

Dudes, Maxim readers, sexually active humans… Don’t listen to Ronda. Load up on lube and see how smooth your sex life can be. And, if you must listen to Ronda, at least listen to Kleio Valentien as Ronda ArouseMe in Burning Angel’s hit porn parody. Trust me, it lasts longer than most Rousey bouts and is very wet indeed.