Lost in Lust

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

Lately I’ve been checking the history on my boyfriend’s laptop and he has a lot of porn sites he’s saved. We use to look at those things together, but I thought they were silly and stopped, but apparently he’s continued when I’m not around. Do you think the sex sites are turning him on more than I do? I’m feeling really insecure over a computer.

Lost in Lust

Dear Lost;

I always try to find the silver lining to every sexual cloud before casting judgment upon anyone. If you turn your face a bit towards the sun, you’ll see there is a bright side to the fact that he did include you in the beginning, meaning he wasn’t trying to hide or sneak. You were the one that didn’t find it appealing and stopped sharing the juicy journey with him, which I’m sure he understood, it’s not for everyone, but apparently it is for him, so he continued. I can’t help but wonder if you really weren’t interested, or maybe you felt a bit threatened, and you thought if you stopped, he would too.

If that were the case, then you can’t really blame him for any boner filled backfiring that took place in your plan. Has your sex life decreased? You don’t mention that, so I get the impression he’s still assuming the position frequently enough that you feel comfortable in knowing you do indeed still turn him on. We have to remember that men are the visual species, so, if there’s a chance to look, we can’t blame them for following what’s in their “jeans.”

Nothing says you can’t become his personal little porn star. Break out that dusty credit card and buy yourself some lingerie and stockings, maybe a kick-ass pair of stilettos, and then show him that he can fall in love and in lust with you. Keep in mind the only actual satisfaction the porn brings to him is the hard-drive on his computer, but when he’s ready to slide his floppy into the portal of pleasure, he’ll find that waiting for him in bed each night. Don’t be threatened by something in cyber space, spin your own world wide web and let him curl your url!

Gettin’ Sexy at the Spa

Pornstar Spa at Bang BrosMassage porn has been blowing up the cyberwaves of late and it seems like any adult network worth its bandwidth is hastily cobbling together some kind of massage-related hardcore site to keep up with customer demands. Reality Kings has Happy Tugs, an Asian themed massage site; Porn Pros has Massage Creep; Brazzers hosts Dirty Masseur; WTF Pass has HD Massage Porn; and Teen Mega World has Tricky Masseur. Merely scraping the surface and keeping ourselves limited to networks only, no standalone sites, we’ve already gathered all the evidence needed to confirm that massage porn is set to follow parodies just as ska and so-cal punk followed grunge and alterna-rock. The best massage porn site of all, however, is the one with the strongest roster of models laying down and letting some lucky and manually dexterous “masseuse” run his filthy mitts all over their incredible bodies. That site, dear readers, is Pornstar Spa.

Under the watchful eye of the infamous Bang Bros, Pornstar Spa has grown from a seedling of an idea of a concept to one of the most thrilling sites on the entire Bang Bros network – and, man, is that saying something! The latest addition to the Pornstar Spa roster, which already includes more than two dozen incredible pornstar babes, is French/Vietnamese legend of the adult entertainment industry, frequent sparring partner of Manuel Ferrara and Rocco Siffredi, and multiple AVN Award winner, Katsuni. One quick gander at the previews of Katsuni’s Pornstar Spa scene and you’ll see why this site is so damn hard to turn away from: her luscious physique is captured in evocative low camera angles, making it feel like she’s right there in front of you. Lathered with oils and laying on a physiotherapy table, Katsuni’s body has rarely looked better than it does here, and that’s even before anything profoundly sexual occurs. You can imagine how thrilling it gets once she realizes this handyman is here to take care not just of her muscular tension, but her sexual tension, too.

So, you’re not a Katsuni fan? As difficult as that is for this writer to comprehend, we must respect all tastes. Just try and avoid finding an incredibly well-built babe who you wouldn’t turn to murder just to get your hands on for a few measly seconds within this list of Pornstar Spa performers: Vicki Chase, Lisa Ann, Amy Reid, Brynn Tyler, Diamond Kitty, Capri Cavalli, Jennifer Dark, Nicole Aniston, Phoenix Marie, Rachel Starr, Madison Ivy, Kelly Divine, Samantha Saint, Nikki Sexx, Mason Moore, Sophie Dee, Lylith Lavey, Katie Kox, Francesca Le, Vanilla DeVille, Abbey Brooks, Venice, Jayden Jaymes, Richelle Ryan, Sienna West, Tiffany D. Gore, and the incomparable (even after such a disappointing boob-job) Rebeca Linares.

Well, readers, did you ever see a more stellar lineup of physiques in one place in the history of adult entertainment? Yeah, thought not.

Flirts in Skirts

Skirts Up GirlsBack when I was attending Catholic school – yes, that unidentifiable guilt is still with me – my female fellow students were held to a dress code rule that didn’t directly impact us boys: skirt/dress length. The unnecessarily sadistic method teachers had of testing the length of a girl’s skirt or dress was to instruct them to kneel on the floor or, if during recess, on the cold, hard asphalt. If the hem of the garment touched the ground, the girl was fine, if not, detention. (Now there’s a killer idea for a pornsite!) The idea behind this rule being that any girl who wore a skirt short enough to allow anyone, be it teacher, student, school caretaker, secretary, or a boy from a visiting school, visual access to her upper thighs was a “bad girl” who wasn’t welcome in such a fine, upstanding educational institution. Fuck that, am I right? Wear ‘em short, ladies! Give us a peek at anything you want to show off. Believe me, we’re eternally grateful for any additional inch of skin. Why do you think we follow you around shopping malls? Stair and escalators, ladies. Stairs and escalators.

Upskirt porn has seen its peaks and valleys of popularity, though it seems of late to have unfortunately avoided the attention of too many porn fans. Perhaps it has been the increased proliferation of celebrity upskirt photos snapped by paparazzo as our hot-legged stars crawl out of limos or prance around onstage in outfits your mother might admire on TV, but would throw up if she caught her daughter wearing. There are, however, some upskirt sites still going strong. One of these recently went under the Pink-O-Scope™: Skirts Up Girls. For the ful lowdown on what’s up at Skirts Up Girls, check out our full review here. (Hint: it rhymes with Stüssy… kinda.)

Nothing is Lost in Translation

Last Tuesday, January 31st, saw the highly anticipated US network television debut of nine-member South Korean “Kpop” sensation, Girls’ Generation. Hitting the performance stage of CBS’s The Late Show with David Letterman to belt out a remixed, hip-hoppified version of their international smash hit ‘The Boys’, the girls worked their finely honed physiques into a frenzy, grabbing the attention not only of the audience and their host, Mr. Letterman himself, but also of guests Bill Murray and Regis Philbin, who sat, minds-boggled, jaws-agape, and watched the eighteen-legged charisma machine strut its stuff to stage right.

Upon finishing their performance, the nine angels of Girls’ Generation were greeted (and thanked in their native Korean) by Letterman and Philbin while Murray simply looked on in awe. When it came time to send a farewell to the audience, all but Murray enthusiastically participated. Apparently still in a daze, the Groundhog Day star and longtime friend and guest of Letterman offer the studio and home audiences a brief flutter of his hand before turning and devoting his attention to Seohyun, the groups youngest member (maknae).

As this backstage photo proves, Bill Murray was floored by the beauty and poise of the nine Girls’ Generation members. (Though, if you ask me, his bias is totes probs Yuri! ^_^)

Girls' Generation

So… How to relate this to pornography… Hey, did you guys know that Girls’ Generation member Sooyoung has professed to being “a pervert” and to, on occasion, watching pornographic videos? True dat, chums! There’s far more to this group than cute posing (aegyo), product endorsements (Dominos Pizza, Goobne Chicken, J.Estina handbags), and incredibly well coordinated dance routines – there’s a salacious side, too!

FUN FACT: While young South Korean adults can easily and inexpensively rent a room at a “Love Hotel” to consummate their relationships (over and over and over) while still living at home with their folks, the production of pornographic imagery is still illegal in South Korea. What a woyld, folks! What a woyld! Yuk yuk!

Spiegler’s Harem

While it could definitely be argued that James Deen, Evan Stone, and even Ron Jeremy are rightfully holders of the title Luckiest Man in Porn, once again someone from behind the scenes beats all the on-screen talent to the finish line. So, who is this mystery man with such fantastically good fortune and how did he get to where he is today?

Mark Spiegler

Folks, meet Mark Spiegler (above with Lily LaBeau and Sarah Shevon), the most powerful and influential agent in the American porn industry. There’s precious little information readily available to give us insight into where Spiegler came from and exactly how he managed to build himself a porno empire that doesn’t directly involve production or performance. We, the endlessly envious porn audience, are left to do nothing but marvel at Spiegler’s incomparable roster of incredible performers, most of whom have made their names through his efforts behind the scenes.

Seriously, folks, just take a gander at this photo snapped at the recent AVN Awards in Las Vegas…

Spiegler's girls

Every single one of these women is a client of Spiegler’s and each one netted at least one AVN nomination this past year. Bobbi Starr, of course, won Female Performer of the Year and no doubt had Spiegler beaming like a proud day on his daughter’s wedding day. In fact, considering the well known habit Spiegler’s girls have of crashing at his apartment, which in reality looks more like an all-female dormitory, he’s bound to think of his greatest success stories almost as daughters. When you take a look, even a quick glance, at the other women on his roster – Brooklyn Lee, Jessie Andrews, Chanel Preston, London Keyes, Kristina Rose, Katsuni, and Belladonna – and imagine even a few of these amazing women sleeping on Spiegler’s floor, you absolutely cannot refute his position as top dog of the US porn industry. Screw the stunt-dicks, it’s all about the agents!