November, 2012 | Mr. Pink's Blog

No on B: the Teleplay!

With Americans preparing to go to the polls in just a few days, there’s plenty of discussion about who to vote for, who not to vote for, and whether or not presidential candidate Roseanne Barr is even on the ballot. Angelenos, however, will have to decide on one county measure that could see thousands out of work, hundreds of companies moving out of state, and the government having far too much control over, of all things, the adult entertainment industry.

Measure B is the controversial ordinance that would, in essence, make shooting porn without condoms and other protective devices illegal, and would see offenders fined and possibly jailed. Proponents of the measure cite allegedly rampant STD and HIV infection rates among adult performers and claim the ordinance is about protecting those having sex on camera. Opponents argue that Measure B is an infringement of their constitutional right to have sex however they see fit, on camera or off; that the adult industry is aggressively self-regulated and performers are much less likely to contract an STD than someone fucking in the general populace; that, if enacted, the ordinance would see the adult industry moving out of state, causing a huge increase in unemployment rates due to lack of work for those that work in off-screen positions throughout the industry; and, according to MarketWatch, it would cost LA county “in excess of $300,000” to start the program and $1.7 million or more per year to maintain, according to a report from Los Angeles Fire Department.

You, however, might not be in LA and might not see what all the fuss is about. How convenient then that James Deen and Jessica Drake, both staunch opponents of the measure, have, under Kimberly Kane’s direction, produced the following informational video, showing what porn could very well be like should Measure B pass.

No on Measure B

Speechless – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

I always heard honesty was the best policy, but when my wife asked if we could do something different in the bedroom to spice it up, I said, yeah, talk dirty to me! Now she thinks I’m some sort of sex freak and won’t talk to me at all!

Speechless

Dear Speechless;

First of all, you’ve heard right, honesty is the best policy, it just doesn’t go on to explain how it will be perceived in many situations, and in yours, it sounds as if it wasn’t perceived well.

The fact your wife isn’t speaking to you at all now doesn’t mean it’s from pure anger, she may just be mulling over your suggestion and trying to come to grips with it in her own way. We have to remember, what may be a turn on for one person is frightening to another. Yes, frightening. Depending on how your wife was raised, and what her beliefs are, she may see your love-making sessions as being more sensual than sexual, and by you wanting her to talk dirty, it throws a fetish spin on things that she may not feel comfortable with, and that does not mean she’s completely against it, but, like anything new, it takes some getting accustom to.

She probably had the immediate thought of slinging four-letter words through the darkness of your bedroom, making her feel cheap, and at the same time, knowing that it would be exciting for you has possibly caused her to look at you differently. It seems a situation like this calls for steps of approach, the first being, opening the communication again, normal talking around the dinner table, it’s easier to say, “Pass the potatoes,” than to shout, “Fuck me hard!” Buy flowers, send her candy, find a nice card, soothe her ravaged soul to begin with. Once things are back to normal, she’ll probably approach you about the reply to her question, this is where you should handle things with with caution, don’t rush into anything.

Explain to her that when she asked the question, because you love her and feel as though she’s your best friend, you had no qualms about disclosing something a bit different to spice things up, but that you apologize for being so blunt. Tell her you wish you’d expressed it as sharing conversation while making love, such as, being vocal about what you’re doing and when. Example; “I’m going to unbutton your blouse now and feel the softness of your skin under my fingers.” There’s nothing dirty and disgusting about that, just alluring. Explain that maybe it would be better if she was the one to hear the things rather than rushing into saying them. By all means, assure her you didn’t mean hardcore four letter words. Something tells me if the playfulness begins in a softcore manner, they may very well lead into the spiciness that you’re hoping for.

Remind her that she is the only woman that turns you on, and to hear her voice while being passionate was merely meant to stimulate another of your senses, you didn’t mean for it to come out disgusting or disgraceful, but only if it would excite her as well.

Esquire Crowns Queen Mila

Mila Kunis may have started off with a small role in Baywatch way back in 1994 but she’s now regarded as one of the sexiest young actresses in Hollywood. In fact, she’s just been christened the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire magazine.

The men’s lifestyle bible’s annual charting of the ups and downs of models, actresses, and celebrity personalities who’ve made our knees quiver settled on Kunis as the preeminent babe of 2012 not just because she’s got the bangingest body or flashes the most sultry, come-hither looks, but because she’s “the most beautiful, opinionated, talkative, and funny” movie star of her generation. Discussing her career and relatively young life (she’s 29) with Esquire’s Ross McCammon, Kunis suggests her story of immigration to superstardom is not unlike those of many other young Jewish women living in Los Angeles’ Fairfax district, albeit without the fame and all that comes with it. Her fetishized story of emigrating from Ukraine to escape anti-semitism has contributed much to her aura of worldliness and cemented her place, for better or worse, as one of the more “exotic” American starlets in Hollywood today. Of course, her signature smokey eyes, husky voice (which has wormed its way into millions of American homes via her character Meg on Family Guy), and intellectual leanings (she follows international politics, especially that of Israel, quite closely and enthuses over her bookcases: “Check out these bookcases!”) don’t hurt one bit.

Still, there’s something vague and distant about Kunis. It’s as if she wants to play at being down-to-Earth while remaining closely guarded, even distant. In the end, though, she took off her shirt for Esquire – you can see the full photoshoot here – and for most guys, that’s all that matters.

Eco-Friendly Vibes? Like, Totally Trippendicular!

Alicia Silverstone might be turning to cookbooks to make a dime these days, years after her Clueless fame faded into a nostalgia trip for 30-year-olds, but her more recent career activities aren’t entirely unsexy. On her website The Kind Life, the actress and health nut pimps products that are vegan, cruelty-free, and sourced from sustainable materials in an eco-friendly way. Now, on Open Sky, Silverstone is endorsing a product few would’ve predicted she’d attach her name to: vibrators.

Described as “personal luxury massagers designed for natural pleasure”, the six new vibrators from Leaf are eco-friendly and have 100% silicone bodies with a silky smooth finish, as well as being completely “body safe”. Ranging from the more basic, leaf-shaped Life and heart-shaped Fresh, the strongest and second smallest in the collection, to rabbit-eared Vitality, long and subtly curved Touch, ultra-discrete Spirit, and twin-motored flexible Bloom, Leaf offers a guilt-free self-pleasuring experience that someone of Silverstone’s environmentally pure nature can’t help but love.

With the holiday season approaching and our girlfriends, wives, and occasional sexual partners uniformly devoting themselves (with various degrees of genuine commitment) to an eco-friendly lifestyle, Leaf seems a surefire way to increase her sexual enjoyment without an iota of guilt… unless, that is, there’s something she hasn’t told you. With that in mind, how about picking up some “ethical” vegan condoms from Glyde?