Mythical Tri-Boob Spotted in FL

The Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi vehicle Total Recall was released in 1990 and remade in 2012 and both movies feature the brief appearance of a woman with three breasts, an alien creature hell bent on being fondled by a three-handed man (or maybe three one-handed men). Although Kaitlyn Leeb (the actress playing the role in director Les Wiseman’s 2012 remake) courted controversy when she wandered around San Diego Comic Con with her three fake tits almost completely exposed, it took a full 14 years for someone to take such strong inspiration from the three-boobed woman that she’d attach a third breast to her own chest, going through 50 plastic surgeons before finally finding one who’d agree to the absurd procedure. The kicker, though, is that Florida massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil claims to have opted for a third breast to make herself “unattractive to men”.

toal recall 3 tits

Clearly not thinking her body modification nor the motivation behind it through very thoroughly, Tridevil seems to have forgotten that heterosexual men will do almost anything for access to a pleasing pair of breasts. For three, why, they’d attempt to colonize Mars singlehandedly. How she hopes to shirk male attention is… well… they’re fake. Obviously.

Jasmine Tridevil

Aside from videos showing off her new rack in a tri-kini, answering questions from interested parties, and claiming that the unemployed are jobless by choice alone, Tridevil’s YouTube channel fails to provide any evidence to support her claims of authentic third-boobery. What does appear, though, are links to news items refuting her claims and the following interview with Tampa’s WTSP:

I suppose we’ll find out the truth when Tridevil’s self-produced reality show is eventually picked up by MTV (which she seems convinced will happen any day now). Episode six allegedly contains footage of the “star” walking along a beach in the same tri-kini she modeled in multiple YouTube videos as well as on WTSP News, when she told reporter Charles Billi she’s willing to do anything to become famous. While Tridevil’s new appendage may remain under suspicion, she’ll have her chance to tell the whole truth when (or better said, if) her show hits TV screens everywhere.

James Deen Keeps on Sinnin’

7sins

Last week, we ran through the first four installments of James Deen’s soon-to-be legendary feature series, James Deen’s 7 Sins: Greed, Gluttony, Lust, and Pride. Now that the final installment, Wrath, has premiered on JamesDeen.com, it’s time to wrap up this whole sordid affair before I send myself straight to the Netherworld for what I’ve seen and written.

James Deen envy

ENVY, the fifth feature in the series, details the downward spiral of pornstar Chanel Preston, whose obsession with Deen and his nubile ladyfriend Chloe Foster progresses from voyeurism to poisoning, kidnapping, and rape. After her husband ignores her advances, Preston ropes Foster into fluffing her waiting crew of gangbangers, preparing them for an airtight three-guy plug-fest that leaves Preston satisfied and Foster humiliated.

James Deen sloth

SLOTH sees Lia Lor attempting to brush her teeth after a tryst with Deen, only to find his water’s been cut off. She wades through a messy floor to join Deen, slumped on the sofa in his pajamas, and attempts to rouse him with a blowjob. Due to her partner’s disinterest, Lor’s imagination conjures up two distinct threesomes and fantasizes about another man pounding her as she rests on Deen’s lap. Only, this fantasy doesn’t seem particularly enjoyable. In fact, so heavy and dour mood in the apartment that Lor ups and leaves for something a bit brighter.

wrath

Deen’s final installment, WRATH, is the most furiously sordid of them all. With a shaven head that makes him look like a death row inmate Deen beats the crap out of Danny Wylde then tears through a gauntlet of naked female figures (many of them from porn’s current generation of supersluts), aggressively dominating each one as she comes into reach. Slamming them against the wall by the neck, slapping faces and tits, choking and suffocating them, Deen even goes so far as to pick one blonde up by inserting his fingers between her lower lips and lifting. After treating himself to all nine women over the feature’s three scenes, Deen, who’s as much a cinematic adventurer as he is a sexual one, has accomplished something truly remarkable. A seven-feature hardcore porn series that owes as much to the film work of Gordon Willis and Gaspar Noe as it does to Deen’s distributor John Stagliano and his Evil Angel empire. How ever will he top James Deen’s 7 Sins?

 

Oh, and if you’re eager to see Deen’s treatise on sexual sin, you can do so at his official website, which throughout October will donate 50% of all profits to cancer research, prevention, and treatment.